I've long since
kept an
extra
set of friends
in the background.

Its always
good
to have a spare.

Easily replaceable,
daily interchange

I
feel
nothing but
humility
as I stare
at my
past and
watch
it all fall
away
like
a shale
cliff
loosened by
the
thunder

These nights
are like
Harlots.

Each one
promising
a new type
of fantasy,
to be reused
over and
over.

Without  
any type
of caressing
or shame.

I no longer cast blame
upon the choices or
the Poppy.
The pretty painted
ladies,friends who lacked
loyalty or the
black robed Judicial figure
who cast the peoples
sentence upon me.

I've took the oath
and willfully chose
to walk with the
truly hardened souls
whose experience somewhat
mirrors my own.

Drink from the vessel
of this truth spoke the
muse.
Pick at the foggy drug
driven heart broken times
and turn them all into
so much more than
just dead flesh sadness.

I believe I earned
the calling from the
Gods themselves.
So much loss
has now began to
show it's reasons.

And to deprive myself
of the joy this
gift brings
would be a greater loss
than all of what
has led me to this.

So much loss
has now began to
show it's reasons.

It's better this way.
I'm better off as a
spectator to the
way everyone
else finds happiness.

They dress their
best and pray on
sundays.
I drink in stale
clothes and laugh
out loud in the
open park in
the dead of night.
High and at one
with the
thieving masked  
lords of the night.

Theirs are goals
and mine are troubling
questions that cause them
discomfort.
I try to pull on
the  answers
no one wants
to really
hear,
not even
myself.

They all long for
love and praise.
Heart shaped
chocolate filled
boxes is what
represents their
artificial idea
of love.

I touch not on
this subject.

I chase away my madness
while drunk and too
high to keep up with
my own shadow.

You'll find me in
the darkness if I let
you.

I'll have the pistol in
my pocket, a bottle
in my hand
and this dead
end love on
the mind.

I stared hard at
the night.
Half drunk in
a public park
that was still so
alive with
happy memories.

As a boy I
dreamed of
becoming nothing.
Now all I long
to do is this.
The words are all so
dear to me.
They've kept me warm
as I laid in cold
jail cells and
cold hide a ways

I promised myself
to free myself of the stress
of desire and need.
And to in gulf
all of what is
left of me into
this.

Only in the dark
can one truly
see the shadow
of madness
that's always one
more drink
or one more failure
behind it all..

I used all of
whats hidden in
the night as a mirror
to the world.
Scattered images and
the sound of the
night bird.
Traces of all
that lays stark
still in the night.

I warmed myself with
the last of the bottle.
I felt the presence
of all that is left
of the wild and
untamed in the city.
The Elder trees
stood stone silent
in all of their
greatness.
A testament to
the strength
and will of nature.

I whispered thanks
to the sun even
though I
felt better without its
presence.

The sea crashed
and sounded
its rage against
the edge of the world.

And I sat drunk
and alone in a
public park without
any of the clueless
public anywhere
near.

Let us not
look to
their shadowed
world and
feel apart.

For amongst
the low and
the lost,
deep beneath
the hurt.
Great thoughts
and true
emotions
often linger.