all jingling together. one for the house. one for the car. one for the truth. one for the secret never told. you keep them close to your heart. these keys. like the skins of an onion.one tearful layer after another must be peeled to find the center. like tiny bells they are constant reminders of commitments and promises. So which one is the key. which one do you what? The key to happiness? Or the key success? pick your key. choose wisely.

Believing what they told her. Fat. Stupid. Slow. Being what they expected her to be. Just to escape the torment. Resorting to the sidekick position. The helpless follower. Never equal. Always to slow to be worth it. The fat kid in gym. The last one to finish the math problem. Blamed on dyslexia on big bones. Then it happened like a caterpillar her shape morphed became something that might be desireable. But by then her wings were riddled with the holes from past abuse. There was no confidence only anger and defensiveness on her horizon. In an attempt to salvage what was left of her she flew away to a place she thought was beautiful. A place she could start new, fresh. A place where she could hide the holes. But in the end winter came freezing her keeping her from moving while she was attacked over and over by new beasts who tore the holes open and gradually made them into bottomless pools of sorrow... When summer came she rested and patched over the holes to try again somewhere new... How does the story end? Thats up to you.

Somewhere far far away
Over the rainbow
Its 5 o'clock
A family is waking up hungry, to the sound
Of gunshots
A young mother cradles a baby
She doesnt expect to live
Like so many others she waits
For an end
Any end

Across the world
The illusion is correct
The grass is greener
Life easier
Its five o'clock
The mother is cooking
While her children set the table
In their perfect home surrounded
By a picket fence
In their gated community
Where the only screams are
Those of children playing

Would that change anything?

Would you change your mind?

If I picked the right song

Sang it.

You might think you want to hear what I have to say.

You are wrong

If by chance you convinced me to

My song would slowly break you down

Down to the basics carbon, oxygen, nitrogen.

Maybe you could be recycled

All of your good qualities used for good

And your bad qualities?

I would capture them in my song. absorb them. Candy coat them for someone else's benefit.

thats the thing about them they are so small hardly anything to complain about but at the same time so painful. bright vibrant blood holding the secrets of our beings spills carelessly no one can see it there is no scar left behind to prove anything only the dread remains fear every time you turn a page insignificant yet we still grant it a band aid we recognize its legitimacy because these small trivial cuts are the ones that get to us that continue to eat away at us even after the self pity you expect to be hurt by the sticks and stones but in the end its the paper on which we place our words.* Thats what gets you in the end

can you solve me?

unfold me expose my problems.maybe not. a simple bow slowly becoming a masterpiece of interwoven components. pick up sticks. twister. limbo. on the brink of collapse. one. two. three strikes you're out. those are the rules, are you ready? go! drugs. depression. disability. drinking. dementia. blasting any sound to keep out the shouts. deceit. lies. regret. abuse. curses spilled out. carful you might trip. Or maybe you already are. like I said, a bow, so easy to undo, so simplistic, internally it becomes equivalent to rocket science. Where's the key to success? the missing puzzle piece? buried in as-seen-on-tv purchases and old moldy mattresses, children's toys and croc pots. smothering the pain of a loved one passed. is he dead or alive? who knows. Is she going to make it to 50?unlikely. suicide just in time for a birthday. unfair exchange.continuing pattern. someone has to make up the hoi palloi no one can or will solve it.you can take that to the bank...just wait a couple weeks