It’s hard to sleep when your mind is at war with your heart
-r.h. Sin

Heart : you should call him. He must be busy.

Mind : he will call me when he’ll be free.

And that’s how I ended up in a traumatic fight between my mind and my heart.
One’s rational and the other one is in love, where practicality has no meaning.

As I jumble through my thoughts, I realise it’s 4 am and I am still sleep deprived.
My eyes are getting teary but my thoughts have blurred my senses.
I am thinking, and thinking, and overthinking.
Charts, bar graphs, diagrams are taking picture in my head, as to what is what, who is who.
And this is not the first time.
This happens every night.
It started the day I realised,
that
I love him.

No I don’t know how to cook
Also I don’t know how to stay in limits
I am a loose canon,
can’t be packed in a box,
and stored away.
I can’t be held back
by your disgusting misconceptions
about the way I am.
Short skirts or waist high jeans
Just a bra or a tshirt,
it’s all my choice
I don’t see one reason,
why should I water your thoughts.

Yes I cry, and yes I am a man.
“You bended over like a *****, man”
Thanks, but your opioid is like a
wrapper of a gum I eat,
it just doesn’t matter.
Yes I wear eyeliner sometimes,
no that doesn’t give ****.
I still sometimes sleep in my mother’s lap,
that doesn’t mean
my manhood is decreasing.

A woman can punch you in the face,
and still be a woman.
A man can cry infront of you lot,
and still be a man.

Equality is not just expected in the aspects of job, career and stuff like that.
Things like what they wear, how they behave also matter.
“Behave, it’s expected of you.”
“Be a man”
These are just silly words used by generations of mind ******* for time pass.
Equality between a woman and a man is needed in society.

And suddenly
I could see all the
poison we had
in our mad love.
So the power I had
to decide
was yielded like a sword
cause I got to know
that not all problems
can be solved,
once it got corrupted,
it couldn’t have been
refreshed into melodies.
So I got on,
all the stuff was out,
your hearts and flowers
were thrown out from the door
and you were too,
from my life.

Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of the love is lost.
-Khalil Gibran

They were just empty words
not promises.
The meaning behind your words
was lost somewhere
between your fear
and my ignorance.
You eventually forgot to say
that I have to solve the puzzle
to get to the meaning
for I am a lazy one
and what you said
was what I heard.
What I said
was full with my feelings.
My words were straight
but you were looking
for deeper meaning
and that’s when I lost too
when my words were not enough
for you to understand
what I was saying.

You meant you love me and I meant the same. But now our miscommunication has led to this lost love.

I am not to be remarked
as a lonely woman,
‘cause you may not know
or I may not seem so,
but I am
a big bad wolf.
Don’t you dare stare at my *******,
even if you are
desperate enough,
just remember,
that these little beasts
are looking right back at you.
Don’t you dare notice my curves,
even if you do
settle upon the extra weight
I carry,
be manly enough, to not judge me.
Don’t you dare look at my skirt length,
even if you are shameless enough to do that,
just remember
the shorter it goes,
your brain is shrinking to the same size too.
Don’t you dare assume that my smile means “**** me”
‘cause in the politest way I can say,
it means
“*******”

She went on her way
without making any noise.
Her comings were noiseless
and so were her goings.
When she spoke,
there were just words,
hollow words.
She carried the silent death with her.
But only she knew,
that her mind
had a noise so loud
that even the minds
on the farthest corner,
would hear the shrieks.
Only she knew,
that her mind
was so capable
of controlling the magic
which is she, herself.
It’s an irony, that
her silence is chaotic,
but her mind is peaceful.

She will grow
not on her own,
but from my own roots.
The things I didn’t know
will be understood to her.
I didn’t have the guidebook
but she will have the whole guide.
She will emerge
as a new person
'cause now she has me,
The Guide.
Her efforts will be recognised,
and her heart will be whole again.
In the past,
she was lost,
but this time
I am keeping her with me.
In my arms,
under the shed of my protection.
She will be found,
not by just anyone,
but by me.
She will be cherished,
and swollen with love.
She will be wrapped
in the blanket of my care
and my teachings,
the sister from another mother,
will grown from my roots.