to the wrongs i can't right
this is us - what we were, what we are
"and we won't be breathing in that same sun again"
the far off now is too far
the rain came but never left
two halves
the whole piece is missing.

i close my eyes but still see everything.

be careful what you wish for.
white painted over sunflowers
summer is gone and the devils are close
i can feel their hands
reaching, pushing tiny pieces of
fear
in through my ears

let spring come,
but i worry i will not rise this time.

a lack of color-
days drawn over crossed out words
sunsets and full moons
do you really believe that i have forgotten anything.

a mind that you cannot rest in.
swirling hands and tangled hair.
if you told me that men were the devil i would believe you.

let me lie face up
hands toward the sky
let the water flow over me
through me, until i am nothing

how did you ever break what was already broken.

to the ghosts of days that she can never get back. the seasons speak volumes while you lie still in your bed with blankets stuffed into your ears. the part of her you loved is dead. for the widower, there is nothing but the cold, dark night.

of course you will hurt me.

when i am sitting alone in the quiet
and thinking of the times i have bared my soul
i know there was never a question.

you have your own bones, and lungs and heartbeat.
you have your own ideas about love. about life.
while i am "getting by"
so are you.

blessed are those who inherit the earth.--

your black eyes put the fear of gods in me.
i've lost fingertips trying to rip you out.
you stand so tall like the moon, your light-- borrowed
from the sun.
i'm saving my breath for that day. the stars say to run.
you pull shadows behind you, longer than the love
i've had for you.
my bones ache and crack.
you took everything.
my body can never be mine again.

blessed are those who lie with their lungs and love through their teeth.

let her have her way. the grass trails behind her. blades sliding through the cracks between her fingers. she looks on as the sun rises. light flickering across the earth. her feet ***** from the ground. shadows fall from branches. the ferns in her eyes fade out.
can you remember the blue before i met you? that great, wide open space? how could i have stayed?
i held your hand. i gave you everything.
pieces of your skin are still falling from me. the dust settles on the leaves that i've grown in my chest. you planted seed after seed.
it's been tough to **** you out.

i close my eyes and dip my hands in the water. the freezing cold reminds me of those days with you. wanting to pull away but sinking further in until i'm numb.
you've been hard to wash off.