i have loved you in silence.
laying my hands on you in a quiet place.
my fingers tracing over your wrists.

maybe this is who i am.
never filled up. never whole.

being pulled in every direction. pushing back but getting nowhere.
the thought of you comes softly now. like an old friend, a lover that i never loved.
one kiss spanning across five years. melting down and taking residence in every part of me.
who i was when i let go, in that moment - i am not her.
i am not wild like her. i do not let the winds command my heart.
instead, i am me. waiting, watching.
"how we get older, how we forget about each other."
only i can't.

how does it feel
when someone loves every
little
piece
of you?
even the broken parts.

i think about
your eyes and lips
your hands and shoulder blades
i think about your bones
that grew so tall
to hold you up, to keep me here
and i'm mesmerized
beneath the stars spinning in your sky.

sleepy hollow's ophelia
sliding down easy into that dark water
living in light is easy but
loving in hell is hard.
you hold the devil's eyes,
bind his hands behind his back.
righteous queen of night
your whispers shake apart
the entire universe inside of me.

the feeling you get
when the high becomes low.
like someone is stealing the air from your lungs
and your chest caves in.
no love, no hope.

where is my resurrection?

i will never forget you.
the blazing hot first summer in that house.
lying awake crying in the kitchen floor at 2am.
i held your hands but it wasn't enough
i wanted to fix your broken years.