I lost it all
Long ago,
Walked along
Searching-
For what remained

Emptiness then
Kissed my lips,
Stillness hugged
My weakened legs

Standing there
I saw it.
Drifting away-
It teased my brain

A breeze so cold
It chilled my bones,
I turned away
Too stiff to go

So hard to breathe
The winter air,
A tingly hand
Then numbness came

Standing there
Everything gone,
I felt okay
For I remained!

I've lost a lot-
More than I thought I would,
I write to get me through
Holding onto hope.
I'd lose my mind-
If I didn't pretend to smile  
Because even pretend makes me feel
Worthwhile.
I've got a little-
Enough to push me on
Unexpected lessons
Value everything you love!
We think we're invincible
Until tragedy strikes us too,
Then we learn-
Never take things for granted
A storm is coming through.

I guess I can't help it
Missing your face  
I had such high hopes
I didn't think it would end this way

So when I think about us
It brings me great pain
There was never a good time
To end things anyway

I grew attached  
The way we talked
About things no one else knew
You were my rock

I felt beautiful with you
You played with my hair
We laughed about things
Our many nicknames...

Now we hardly speak
None of it seems real
Best friends forever...
A broken deal

It's hard to move on
When we got so close
I know time will heal
I miss you dear

They didn't understand
Why I was so skinny
My tummy full
With all my worries

Losing weight
That seemed okay
I'd fit-
Into summer clothing  

But they didnt see
The damaged me
Underneath
I was hiding

Until I learned
There was hope
I held my mom
And cried for help  

Now I pray
To move ahead
Never looking back
Forget regrets

It's been hard these days
Thinking about my life
The way things have changed
Away from my family
Who have made their own life
I wish I could go back
Into the arms of my mom and dad
I miss my brothers
Running around, playing soccer
I made this mess
But how long will it last
I want the days I felt happy
But life has shown me
That things have changed
I wish to be the spoiled child  
A kiss goodnight, tucked in bed
But I'm growing up
And I know those will only be memories
These are the days that have taught me
The days I've been alone
Only now do I know
What it's like to feel like nobody

I haven't been the best me
I've made mistakes that remind me  

I've been through hell to learn how to survive
But through it all I've learned that love makes me feel alive

When my mind was lost it found a way
To bring me back, enjoying everyday

I never knew how much love could do
All along it always seemed so cruel

Taking a piece of me with every tear
But finding a way to make me heal  

The days I didn't want to be alive
It found a way to make me whole inside

Only love can bring me close
To the people I dearly hold

Love is bittersweet  
Just a drop makes me fall off my feet

From the start
We knew
The special place
In our hearts,

Deep talks
Secrets sealed
No crosses
Count,

Netflix
Popcorn
Arizona tea  
Tears and laughter
Emotional disasters,

All the seasons
You were there
Holding hands
In the snow
And in the rain,

Chilly nights
We walked  
In the dark
Avoiding smelly skunks,

Because we knew
Through it all
We gained a
Friendship that
Would sustain,

Miles away  
Nothing will change
The friendship
That we gained