I know this is bad
that I still think of your breath
across my neck
your arms around my waist
your lips brushing against mine
your hands
tightening our grip
you said you would never let go
but here we are now
farther than ever
and I'm sorry to admit
I miss you
even if you beat me
my heart and soul
and played me
my mind far too confused
you were always far too shady
should've seen this coming
yet I always stayed
never understanding why
all I know is I would still go back

v.f

Feeling like you have nothing
and you're absolutely worthless
is such a common feeling for most of
us
that half of us don't want to live anymore
like you're being suffocated
and it doesn't even matter
because you can smell his scent on
the pillow that's asphyxiating you
and if your last breath
is breathing him
in
why could anything else possibly
matter anyways
but its so *******
scary to be suffocated
so you'd rather dig into
your own skin
with an object
that wasn't even invented
for the harm you're doing
to yourself

a smile suddenly crosses my face
thinking of you
you are the waves to my ocean
a deep deep blue
but the smile fades
as I think of what you did to me
when you chose lust over love
to think you loved me so, you loved me dearly

v.f