I want to know the love;
The love that feels.
Holds you in it's depths-
Don't think, experience the way our skin meets.
Your eyes hold the world in their glossy expanse
I wish the feelings inside me would be more easily expressed.
Your arms carry my dreams in them,
You take away the pain with a touch of your whispering fingertips.
These close moments hold the depth of my soul in relation to yours.
These words I write are the life I need to stop the pain now...
In the day I fear little; in the night I fear your god-
The power he holds over you.
Homesick for your missing hands,
The thoughts leave my mind in slumber.
The pure white blankness of my dreams-
Dreams aren't always blank.
To hope never to die with a scream on my lips, but beneath the weight of your love is all I can ask.
Dear, release me from this coma of passionlessness.
Watch me til you're gone
The soft little words you've left will be my life vest;
The perfect acceptance to believe your sweet heart and it's devotion, my buoy above the water's dark depths.
Moments with my hands in your hair; your hips on mine, are the only ones that I feel the pleasure of purity.

Isn't that ironic?

(Not titled)
Blast off,
Lunar eclipse,
Sparkle and fade,
Amongst stars shining bright.
Ombred night,
Shades of aquamarine and indigo,
Wash over me and hold me still.

A small warm body,
A lithe, tight form,
The magnitude of you overwhelms me;
Let it be.

Keep me steady,
Form my solid ground.
Show me the light where darkness reigns.
Call me out,
Tangle your fingers in the chords of my soul,
Home is where the candles burn the brightest.

Inky confusion,
Diamond sharp insight,
These things-
They fissure and crack me.

Hiss while I burn,
Mingled with the ash of old and new embers of flames not quite gone out.

Sometimes I wish someone would **** me
So I didn't think of killing myself
So I wouldn't hurt so many people
So I could just stop breathing now

Sometimes I wish I would die
Of natural or unnatural causes
So that this life could be over in a good place
And I wouldn't have to slide back down again

Sometimes I pray for that black winged angel
To swoop down on me and steal my breath
To **** the light right out of my eyes
And take me out of this place
That steals all of my soul anyway

Sometimes I wish I would let go
And end up surrounded by the dark
So I could sleep
And never open my eyes to the world again.

I hate to hate myself but I know I can't control it
To battle it
To struggle against it is so exhausting
That steady pulse against my fingers feels so strong
So vital
And I want to strike a match on my skin
Drive a blade in
Watch the sweet body nectar flow as if water from a river
I imagine the ways in which I'd die
If I drove a little faster on this curvy road of life
To inch that needle higher
Strike that sweet spot harder
Feel the pain erase the numbing calm
It's sad to feel this way
When everything is so perfect
Sad to feel insecure
When nothing here is threatening
Why can't I stop this thought line?
The linear steps to burial
Even if nothing physical
The mental is killing me slowly.

My life is turning upside down-
I've never felt so lost.
I ended up in places far past
The places I thought I'd crossed.

If anyone knew what it was really like inside,
This broken heart..
These hollow moments...
The lonely way I feel....

They'd know I'm almost ready,
To end these things and kneel-
On the ground in front of my grave,
Oftentimes I believe it would be incredibly peaceful.

Drown in an ocean,
Lose a fight to cancer..
Burn alive in a house ablaze-
Or end it behind the wheel.

I wish someone would end it for me and take me out of the surreal.

I feel so numb without you here
When I watch you leave it's as if my feelings disappear
I'll drink to take the edge off this lonely numbness I feel
But it won't stop me missing you
Not even a little bit
Not here in this place, without you.