My focus jumped out the window-
around 9 am this morning.
My heart and head are pounding-
there are so many questions to be answered.
What am I doing
with my life, with my choices?
I just want to make an impact,
I just want to do something real.
This chair,
this desk,
they mean nothing.
I'm going stir crazy in this life of mine.

I want to know the love;
The love that feels.
Holds you in it's depths-
Don't think, experience the way our skin meets.
Your eyes hold the world in their glossy expanse
I wish the feelings inside me would be more easily expressed.
Your arms carry my dreams in them,
You take away the pain with a touch of your whispering fingertips.
These close moments hold the depth of my soul in relation to yours.
These words I write are the life I need to stop the pain now...
In the day I fear little; in the night I fear your god-
The power he holds over you.
Homesick for your missing hands,
The thoughts leave my mind in slumber.
The pure white blankness of my dreams-
Dreams aren't always blank.
To hope never to die with a scream on my lips, but beneath the weight of your love is all I can ask.
Dear, release me from this coma of passionlessness.
Watch me til you're gone
The soft little words you've left will be my life vest;
The perfect acceptance to believe your sweet heart and it's devotion, my buoy above the water's dark depths.
Moments with my hands in your hair; your hips on mine, are the only ones that I feel the pleasure of purity.

Isn't that ironic?

I just want to tell you I love you a thousand times over and over,
hold you in my arms and
let my lips linger over your lips.

I want to softly stroke your face,
eyebrows to scarred cheek to chin,
and breathe you all in.

I want to memorize the way your limbs connect to one another;
the way your body seamlessly flows in order.

I want to feel your arms around me in the tightest of embraces,
hear the traces
of beautiful words as they melt into laces of hopes and dreams.

I want to imagine a future home
with love and
roam the world with our hands intertwined together,
stay by your side forever.

I love you.

All the red and green
snow and mistletoe
reindeer and hope
won't keep you here any longer.

They're taking you away from me
-and it's only the beginning-
They're seperating us,
and I know that I'll be missing

The lonely nights
the tears and frustrations
I'll be worrying;
war-zones are no place for Santa.

I want to hurt them.
I want to keep you here;
but I have no power in this situation.

Christmas morning I'll be crying;
I'll be waiting.

Forever waiting.

Why can't I just be needy sometimes?
I need you.
Why can't I just be scared sometimes?
There are things I fear about you.

And sometimes I feel like my emotions over-take me
And sometimes it sends me in a tail-spin
And half the time all I want is for you to hold me
but you're so far away
and my strength sometimes fades.

I miss you, and I fear for your safety.
It drives me crazy
The worry almost constantly present.
It's like there are two sides of you
and I am unsure of one.

Will you just let me in?

I think I'm homesick for you;
For your body and it's warmth,
For the arms that hold me tight at night
And caress me into the twilit slumber.
The comfort.

You possess this hold on me,
You hold a part of me; inside you.
And I'm homesick for your embrace;
The way you taste.
I miss the breathing of us in sync,
And the sweet way your eyelids flicker as you fall asleep;
The light as feather touch of your fingertips as they lose the weight of wakefulness.
The quiet peace I see in your smooth features as you drift away in dreams I'll never know.

I'm homesick for you.

Sometimes I just want someone to take care of me.
To tuck me in,
To wrap the blankets around me
and hold me in their arms.

Sometimes I just want to fall apart.
To dissolve into baby tears,
and let the pain wash down and away...
let myself sink and feel numb.

Would you hold me as I melted down,
became water from my normal ice?
Would you hold me when my face was messy
and the sight was so unbearable?

Could you handle the way I am?
When my walls fall down and crumble,
because I myself am scared
to see the way I have become.