Since day one, I erased the term "can't".
I did or did not.
There was no can't.
Yet here I am.
I need this
And I can't handle it.

You can hear all the pep talks
You can try something new
But nothing can soothe the crush
Of discovering that your best is not enough

How many times have I come to this Add Poem page, craving release, a freedom from the overwhelming feelings whipping me about? And how many times have I typed line after line, struggling to make sense of something, anything? It seems as soon as I slow my cathartic typing, all of my feelings prove empty and worthless and crudely scrawled. And I watch as I erase my thoughts, character by character until I return to the intimidating blank screen. I piece myself back together as best as I can and I press on, each time losing hold of yet another fragment of my rapidly dwindling perserverance.

Gas? or Gummy worms?
Gas is semi-essential.
Gummy worms are appealing.
Reasoning points to gas.
But between life and death...
Reasoning is nowhere to be seen.

There are no words to describe the loss of family. The moment you wake up and realize that the people you have spent your life with have finally crumbled beneath the pressure. The loss of security and unity and friendship. All anyone can manage is to mask the fracture with a smile. It happens. We aren't anything special. But the weight of acknowledging the shift is frightening and miserable and lonely.

Once upon a time
I was consumed by passion  
It enveloped me entirely
It spread to those around me

Once upon a time
I was a motivating force
I dried eyes and evoked smiles
I made a difference

Once upon a time
Everything changed