one day i packed my bags and ran
for the mountains tall and lovely
fo escape all the pain i can
and to see the world pass slowly

the suitcases backed full behind
my lover and i never looked back
as we drove a long tiring ride
hand in hand, no one could track

and so we drove out into the world
to experience what we didn’t know
we kept holding on when things got cold
arm in arm, through the snow

i don’t want new york or manhattan
run past chicago to my passion
let me live in the gorgeous mountains
let me have those perfect mountains

why is love a dagger in the heart?
it stabs, then twists, tearing it apart.
it causes pain as a practiced art.

the anguish inside makes me cry out.
i sit and sob; i don’t merely pout.
betrayal holds me down, no way out.

now the slightest touch fills me with fear,
whispers of doubt and despair fill my ear.
no one will love you is all i can hear.

not a single breath, did I breathe
in fear of my security
footsteps thumping; one, two, three
hoping, praying he won't see me.

let's pack up and runaway,
together things will be okay.
if we feel like we are falling,
we can learn to keep fighting.
holding each other up; staying together,
we can't just give up; always and forever;
when life only seems to be killing,
we can learn to keep on living.

the world outside is a treacherous place,
where evil lurks in every race.
doubt threatens to **** the deepest belief,
and the pain of loss comes with no relief.
there is no refuge below or above,
with the exception of the refuge of love.
love is capable of amazing powers;
love with stay with you until late hours.
true love’s flame will never grow cold,
it keeps burning hot even when it grows old.
in the case of two lovers, starcrossed and secret,
they’re, sadly, oppressed and told they can’t keep it.
some don’t know what happens to a covered flame:
the flame becomes hotter, just as lovers grow untame.
but love stays with you through all the struggle;
love with not leave you in the times of trouble;
love makes dull life’s hardships, it numbs the pain;
love doesn’t care what you’ve done, even the insane;
love will not leave you, whether in the dark or the light;
love sticks with you through the day, it’s beside you at night.

perhaps it was best that God let me live,
so i could see the beauty that he'd give,
and so i could learn how to forgive

that is if he exists
and if he listened
and if i'm not just going crazy..

why can i not believe you exist, God?
you've proved yourself time after time after time,
but why?
my faith isn't strong enough,
isn't good enough.
and i can't help but feel that maybe if you existed,
maybe i wouldn't have this hopelessness,
this depression; this sense of worthlessness.

laying in the dark; you hovering above me-
watching, waiting, breathing,
just feeling.
your heat and your touch, electrifying.
craving you.
every breath a shudder;
every touch brings chills.
interlocking tightly together,
tangled and lost in the other.
just loving.

jade green eyes staring back at me-
back into mine, like a dreary, blue-gray sky.
i could get lost in this; lost in you.
next to you, i could, forever, lie.
you consume my thoughts night after night,
and i let my mind wander when i close my eyes.

uncontrollable sniffles-
oh, god in heaven, why me?
coughing, coughing, and coughing some more.
coughing up my lungs!
or, at least, so it feels..
just let me die
or drug me up.
drug me up with the cold medicine.
every four hours.
just **** me now.

why do you try to stay hidden from view?
why hold onto the pain, old and new?
let it go, let the breath release;
forgive and forget, time will renew.

let color replace the shades of grey,
let life be lived, not thrown away.
sixteen years wasted- gone..
release.. release.. release!

breathe the new air, let it fill-
fill my lungs! so that i will
live again. live life as it's meant
to be. full of joy sadness can't ****.

i wish my prayers could offer up something,
but my soul has nothing to give,
no words that can be spoken.
is God even there to hear my cries as i live?
there's no one,
it's all empty space.
if God were real, i wouldn't beg for death,
wouldn't beg for an end, wouldn't plead for the dark.
some days i let myself wonder
that maybe there is.
maybe the good things are from him,
and the evil from a darker power..
but then again..
maybe they're one and the same thing,
or maybe there's nothing.

is it so much to ask for the cold to come?
the chill, the freeze, the long nights..
long nights with pleasant company,
blanket's warmth and tea in hand,
winter winds howling through forested land.
shivers, untameable, shake me.
your warmth awakes me.
we can hold each other
through winter winds.

chest so tight,
day to night.
you next to me,
all i can see.
desiring you around,
never to be found..

i lived my life in black and white,
ignoring the shade of gray in between,
and found it empty; incomplete

hate spitting outward,
pride ****** in,
eating away at the bones,
the bones of the high and mighty

killing my pride,
a hand around it's throat,
loving everything- hating nothing,
peace, happiness,
living in full color

i found life full and overflowing;
acknowledging a sea of color and life,
i live my life with a spirit, freed

a feeling so uncontrollable..
i feel so incredibly in love,
so incredibly infatuated,
so masterfully swept away..

the cliched concept of dark to light.
so simple, yet bright.
when reversed, tends to spark fright.
nothing goes right.

asked for death, but was given life
how dare that god ignore my plea!
should've never woken up

sleep softly, i tell myself, eyes closed.
he's okay, i whisper, try to believe.
hold onto the i love you's, his words.