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Anon C Nov 2012
The truth is hidden until proven wrong
Pain concealed, there lies a mask instead
On his lips forever there was a song
Deep down his heart continually plead

At certain times the mask was firmly placed
But alone it fell to pieces through tears
When the time came to go home his heart raced
Fueled by continual vivid fears

He found himself in a circular room
Corners were no longer there to hide in
No one knew he would end it with a boom
For not knowing some felt a burning sin

Some of us heard with no tears of sorrow
Others know they'll not forget tomorrow
I did not know this boy personally but he committed suicide in high school and I felt horrible for never knowing his pain or getting to know him and help.
Anon C Dec 2012
Even if for one night, can you pretend
to feel passion for just me
I am just some girl, I know, meaningless
but please tear into me, let it all go
throw me into the sheets, ravage me
as a lion would unto a lamb, devour me whole
it is what I crave
walk away in the morning
it is alright
Anon C Nov 2012
I feel the cold, it penetrates my soul
I look up, the sky is black like my thoughts
I sit and ponder, when will I be whole
All these days for happiness I have fought

People wonder, why are my thoughts so dark
It's a disease for which there is no cure
All this pain, on my soul there is a mark
If it will ever heal, I am not sure

I'm searching for the light, but there is none
My eyes are open and yet I can't see
I reach out for help but there is no one
I call out none hear my desperate plea

I'll keep on living each day feeling lost
Until happy lighted paths have been crossed
2005
Anon C Dec 2012
When I feel myself sinking down
Through waters so deep I am sure to drown
I reach into my mind, touch my intangible dreams
Though not real, they keep me from bursting at the seams
It probably is not at all healthy, I know...
But I find reality is too far below
It hurts to be awake and attuned
All I feel when I am such are the deepest wounds
So I weave my fantasy land full of us and me and you
And find myself stepping on the shore, the sky above blue
What I dream is perfect, untouchable
But outside these thoughts, my mind lies in rubble
Poem inspired by a conversation with another poet. Title inspired by a comment by another poet. You guys are great <3 Thank you Embers and Jacobo.
Anon C Dec 2012
Oh the inspiration
brought
by a simple sound
a song
I would be hollow without music.
Anon C Dec 2012
screaming pain
announcing beauty
proclaiming eternity
wailing in obscurity
forcing feet to move
leaving no choice
bringing about untold emotion
unearthed from the deepest part of a mind
telling endless tales
burning bridges
housing anger
consuming love
cutting like ice
within a melody
I adore violins, cellos, pianos, guitars and all the emotion invoked from the simplest of strums, key strokes and finger picks.
Anon C Jan 2013
An ugly creature, writhing in the corner
one eye looks over in disgust, seeing what it really is
for the creature has shown its colors to the fixated, hazel eye
sometimes wavering in the knowledge that he knows she is filth
but always in the end it is the creature
then we have the other eyes
yellow, brown, green, blue, multitudes showering down watching the demon
unfortunately, a spawn of satan they do not see
would they stop cooing and praising
the self hatred building up will soon explode
and glass shards will blind
then they will see what the hazel eye knew all along
and the creature will continue to writhe
in the corner
finally ceasing to inflict unintended pain
Anon C Feb 2013
When thoughts give rise to instinct
instinct to have all the pretty things and shiny gold
food, shelter, love
organic matter is all we are
higher brain function makes us more than a squirrel?
I think not
you see, that same squirrel
dead in the road
where is his heaven
has he not contributed to the circle of life
these thoughts have my mind decomposing
despite oxygen, despite synapses firing
in the end we all just feed the Earth
intelligent life, I think does not equate more than this gift
Not really a poem but it bugs me a lot...
Anon C Nov 2012
At this moment
gun in hand
lying broken
unable to stand
would one pull the trigger
maybe
no hope to regain vigor
bones aching
can it be done
uncontrollably shaking
ghastly gun
can one raise their arm
probably not
but one does consider it yes?
to cause oneself harm
utterly distraught
on occasion
when so alone
soul worn with abrasion
smooth unfeeling stone
overwhelmed
smothered in despair
oh to be free
from a life so unfair
eyes empty as a dead sea
what is a man's last thoughts
on the brink of eternal darkness
soul tangled to indiscernible knots
already a carcass
Anon C Jan 2013
On the corner of Nansemond's Parkway and Bennett's Pasture
a heartbreaking scene can be found
almost appearing to be a mass grave
for such a small, innocent intersection
how many lives has it claimed
stones, flowers and crosses rest serenely under the trees
masking the horror that must have occurred on many an occasion
I wonder
how many more will you claim, little crossroad
could I be next
as I pass each day
Anon C Feb 2013
What is it that determines an existence upon a plane
I do not even create the ***** laundry I fold
as I am clothed in the same attire day by day
forgotten
as I race through a machine that eats me alive maliciously
move by with wisps of smoke
that is alright
I drown in my own substances
albeit I do this alone
in the night
and for some reason despite everything
I still relish being alone
loving to suffer
do I exist
Anon C Dec 2012
I was sure I would die today
that my heart finally stopped
collapsing in pain
feeling a pop
I was sure
the worst part
I felt nothing
maybe a little fear
just a little
aside from raw fear though
no thoughts crossed my minds
except
*this is it
Anon C Feb 2013
They say suicide is for the weak, the selfish
at this I ponder is the entirety of life not suicide
breathing toxic air, relying upon corruption to save us
stuck within a cycle
we have our smokers, drinkers, drug addicted
riddled with pain each and every one of us
yes life can be a song, we all smile
but inevitably life feels like suicide when eyes open to look
and I wonder should I not be the one to say how I go
and not you death, not you corruption
let me sing you a little song as I tip my glass
song or suicide
the answer lies only in you
Song or Suicide is an actual song by H.I.M.
Anon C Jan 2016
electrifying finger tips
of a ghost running down a shattered spine
an iris in a black hole
a smile that rips together a soul
the dilapidated frames of a broken home
scream for your sunlight
which stuns lightning bolts
and silences thunder claps
Anon C Dec 2012
Life
         is
                the
                        dream
We
             create
Come
             sleep
                       with
                                   me
Anon C May 2017
I saw a girl sitting by a grave
There were tears running down her face
This kind of thing, you see it every day
Laughing masks smiling through the pain
I met a boy who said he killed his dreams
Told me life is never what it seems
He missed a girl who left this world too soon
She took her life under the light of the moon
All these people seem alone
Empty hearts that have no home
One day, the child in you will die
And you will know it’s ok to cry
A little girl asked me what is pain
Give it time, you will see one day
She took my hand and looked me in the eyes
You’ll be alright, my dad said it’s ok to cry
All these people seem alone
Empty hearts that have no home
One day, the child in you will die
And you will know it’s ok to cry
We’re all the girl sitting by the grave
At some point, we all have lost our way
Don’t be the boy who killed his dreams away
Try not to remember yesterday
Put on your mask and smile through the pain
And know tomorrow brings another day
Not everyone we see is alone
Some hearts, they do have a home
Some people’s inner child never died
And they’ll tell you it’s ok to cry
As it is sung/played

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwrlMEKv6Es&feature=youtu.be
Anon C Dec 2012
Realization
                         just  
                                        struck.
It
        will
                         be
                                         alright.
Many
                         tiny
                                          lights.
Anon C Dec 2012
I waited, watching the leaves change into red, brown and orange hues
I waited, while the snow blanketed the ground, kissing the Earth cold as ice
I waited, until blades of grass poked their heads out of the soil, shy yet coy      
I waited, in scorching sun, blinding me, searing my skin golden brown
I waited, while this cycle recurred year after year
I became old
You never came
Anon C Nov 2012
Wanting the power
the power to my own undoing
complete control now lost
yearning the ability to be happy within my own self
without it I must surrender
completely helpless
left at the mercy of another's mind
another's wishes and whims
I cannot be so powerless
the idea utterly terrifying
waiting each day
for the power to be used
rip my already almost lifeless soul to shreds
at an impasse
unable to merely seize the power
committed to reaching within myself
envisioning the power is mine
then so shall it be
I need my power back
need it for me
that I may stop living in trepidation
Anon C Nov 2012
Not sure what it is I even dream
sorry for being so silent in words
yet so loud in my thoughts
but I will keep trying
unless you wish me to stop
even then though I may keep fighting
if it is only in my mind
Anon C Nov 2012
Seven billion people on Earth
Why the hell are so many of us alone
Searching within one another for our worth
Love would appear to be a combat zone

Would you not think with so many of us
A soul mate might actually exist
Quite distressing it is, I must confess
A world revolving around trysts

Souls too caught up in lust
Gallivanting about the city
Contact for many an absolute must
While some lie wallowing in self pity

What the hell is love, might I ask
I am not seeing it in the world today
Seven billion people wearing seven billion masks
All hiding within their own cliche

Such a large world we live in
And still unable to ever truly connect
It must be human nature, a deadly sin
Thus true love will never interject

Envision real love all we may
It would appear not to be our nature
Always something will lead one astray
So in our dreams will it lie forever

We all want to be proven wrong here
We scream our own sad story into the night
Begging for someone to come, adhere
To bring some amount of respite

But despite our relentless screams
We continue on this vicious circle
Ignore the one who may answer our dreams
Falling victim to this eternal obstacle

The one that is our denial of love
To fill some void we cannot be free of
Anon C Nov 2012
Starting to be afraid of what I feel
Ignorance taking control of my life
Trusting so quickly, what the hell's my deal
Setting myself up for much pain and strife

God, I must watch my step, I'll fall too fast
I don't want to feel that sorrow, that pain
Can't get hurt again, I'm healed now at last
Can't make the same mistake over again

The world is dark, how could this love be real
In case it isn't I must watch my back
I hope it is true, this love that I feel
Why would it be, all else in life is black

Please dear God, don't let me hurt myself twice
Can't take it again, please help me alright
I wrote this some odd years ago. Turns out I was right. Also at a time where as you can see I was a bit religious. Not so much the case anymore. Spiritual not religious.
Anon C Nov 2012
I would follow you anywhere
up a spiral staircase ascending
until it reaches the heavens themselves
I will climb that far, if you only but ask
lead me to the edge of a sheer cliff
request, I will jump your hand in mine
point me in the right direction
I will swim across the ocean until reaching your shore
It is a little late to fear for my safety
Thus I will dig my grave, that you may ask I lie in it
no request too absurd
no distance too far
no place too abysmal
*I will follow you anywhere
Anon C Dec 2012
They say when you die
you know nothing after
but this for me, is a lie
I will miss music radiating in my mind
I will miss the trees dancing in the wind
I will miss the whispers of fairy tales
I will miss the thought of true love
I will miss the laughter of children
and the sweet sounds of peace and beauty
my mind may cease to think
my heart may discontinue beating
but such things, so full of glory
I will always miss
Anon C Nov 2012
Each one of you
broken, bruised, abused
lying on the floor
let me find the pieces
put you back together
dress your wounds
listen to your stories
save you all
If only I could
Anon C Dec 2012
Were there reason to suspect treachery
I do not know
mind has become lost in an awakening
thus senses dulled
were it normal such a flip flop of the senses
I would think me safe
as it were I find me tossed into the dark
wondering what curveball may my way next come
I am lost in the Amazonian jungle
waiting for venom to strike out
naught in this secluded wood could be serene
or is this my paranoia talking
but I know this game
Jumanji let us dance
it is your turn to roll the dice
I am watching afraid, confused
what intention could be that
of a python stalking a mouse
Anon C Feb 2013
I am a knife of the cruelest kind
dull and wicked carving flesh
leaving jagged scars and angry marks
the deadliest weapon I know
Anon C Jan 2016
If I could go just one day without missing you I'd forget the pain
If I could go one moment not loving you then I might be free
If only I'd stop this dreaming I could break away from these chains
If I had a ******* bit of sense I would turn my back and flee

your soul is the thunder that lightning never heard
I know my behavior may seem somewhat absurd
but your eyes wont let me go no you wont let me go
I am tethered to this purgatory I cannot tell you no

If you would spend just one day trusting me we might not be afraid
Just take one moment to face me we might not be mislead
I want to walk into the light before I fade
I'm stuck inside some sick nightmare playing in my head

your soul is the thunder that lightning never heard
I know my behavior may seem somewhat absurd
but your eyes wont let me go no you wont let me go
I am tethered to this purgatory I cannot tell you no

I do I don't want to miss you...I cannot forget
I only wanted to love you..break these chains from me
As it is sung

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZZhIIgD7Q8&feature;=youtu.be
Anon C Nov 2012
Feeling a hunger inside
the kind that swallows me whole
an emotion that screams touch me
too many lonely nights spent
under a canvas painted in black

I do not love you
but can I use you today
I need to feel
need to feel essential
take me, lead me away

for one night, rip the canvas back
devour me in hungry passion
do not get too close to me
I am not looking for eternity
I just need something tonight

I do not love you
but can I use you today
I need to feel
need to feel essential
take me, lead me away

just one night do not forget
do not  attach yourself to me
I have no ties to this situation
like I said I just want to feel
tonight give me the power

I do not love you
but can I use you today
I need to feel
need to feel essential
take me, lead me away

Don't say anything
take my hand, lead me away
This is not me but I am sick of writing about me. Thought I would write about someone else for once. I may eventually try to turn it into a song on my guitar if I become talented enough.
Anon C Jan 2013
When I find me utterly destroyed
I look into your eyes
and melt
forgetting all the knives in my soul
if only I could just see those eyes beyond my mirror
deeper than a picture
your stare must eradicate diamonds
when standing before your warmth
Anon C Mar 2013
was it not then a wish
claws within my cerebral cortex
elongate, penetrate, let loose
let go of all that is that
and then
never again to whisper inane whims
going, going, gone
what was it then?
a short Autumn day
a long Winters night

*a midsummer night's dream
it was all a dream
isn't it always?
Anon C Jan 2014
Inherent disregard to my own scars
drain this chalice of my inebriated blood
akin to the taste of cyanide, cascading down your tongue
a sacrilegious demon may not be evil
my church is but of rotting wood and bone
my fragile prayers are not enough to hear
no, not enough to hear such a far away thought
reverberating in my head the battle rages
never ending echo, forever, la douleur exquise
Inspired by la douleur exquise a term that defines one who craves the affection of one who is unattainable. This is how I feel or would feel in said situation. I can't say if it's me. Thanks Lee.
Anon C Dec 2012
Broken and stolen
were the dreams of too many today
innocent lambs bathed in blood
and all for what
why
my heart will bleed for the lambs
but not just for these
for the thousands
the masses
that experience such hatred on a daily basis
what it is to be innocent
caught within the crossfire, sliced by the shrapnel
I pray one day it will stop
until then rest in peace little lambs
I hope your dreams live on
I cannot make a rhyme or be pretty right now. My heart goes out to each and every person in the world experiencing pain like this.
Anon C Nov 2012
While she's off chasing fireflies
you're still sitting in the dark
waiting
why?
Anon C Dec 2012
Hand lifted in anger*
Then I realized it doesn't matter
Anon C Jan 2013
When the veil lifts and nothing is left but barren wasteland
the ocean evaporated, the atmosphere obliterated
what would be a planet envisioned
do I mean metaphorical or do I mean literal
unsure,  just go with me on this one
can you tell when I have been sleeping at the bottom of a bottle
message in a bottle now sits in a massive dune
sandstorms burying it deep within their chasm
no life is left on this planet to find it
so what is it now but another piece of garbage
one collected upon the masses of mother earth to regenerate, obliterate, clean up the mess
another lost whisper echoing in the sands of time
sands that do not know time though
what is one grain of sand within this temple
do you not see how many there are
a pin ***** to a goddess
she does not wince, not once
at the fallen upon her feet
one mass grave
her face will be stoic as she stares upon her masterpiece
finally at rest, a plague eradicated
though they screamed the whole way down
she rejoiced when at last the cries had ceased
silence
and she thanks her God
and that God thanks his
and he thanks his
never ending cycle
does it stop
ever
No idea... End of the world thoughts? Will God rejoice when it is over finally? Also do Gods have Gods? Does it end? Really think about it!!!
Anon C Dec 2012
Wishing to be a God for once
creating existence then turning away
oh, you tore down your walls, what a pleasant surprise
let me take a peek at what you house within
ah, I can devour you now
I crave power
meek I may be, a monster has been born
born from the ashes of loneliness and deceit
let me be vindictive
watch me make you squirm
I am feeling quite morbid today
six thousand feet high, I bear down with a magnifying glass
destroying everything that you have ever hoped for and built
I wish to be malicious
let me become a freaking God
and tear you to pieces
Anon C Mar 2013
Shielding the devil
whilst angels fall in decay
herding sheep to certain peril
with haste, to no delay

how many voices would it take then o' vile serpent
leading the world to Hell
one giant machine full of robots?
nay human life you so oppress
viewed as migrant pigeons scouring the wasteland for bread crumbs
well murderous fiend, you sir
starved wolves do turn
the ones with knowledge of your sacrilege
they do devour
I pray to be the pack leader one day
I pray
the "protect HA PROTECT sorry "protect Monsanto Act" was signed. Protecting them from law suit or harm from their vile actions and blatant experimentation upon the human race without their knowledge.    How can we protect ourselves when such laws are passed silently unaware and we cannot defend! IT is illegal not to label GMO garbage in Europe but here in the U.S the number one producer of GMO food it is not and they have put forth millions them and other companies to see that it does not happen.  So no right to know if our food is tainted and no right to defend ourselves once poisoned...This is one of many issues this poem is directed at and I am just sick at the way life is treated by those in power. Everything about the system has got to stop and it has to now or we are headed for a ***** that will see us all fall with the evil corrupt *******.

http://www.opednews.com/Quicklink/Monsanto-Protection-Act--in-General_News-130327-27.html

http://www.salon.com/2013/03/27/how_the_monsanto_protection_act_snuck_into_law/
Anon C Dec 2012
I jumped so far
Knowing I would hit the pavement
I swam out to sea
Knowing I would drown in misery
I leapt into space and time
Knowing there is no air, I will suffocate
I believed false promises
Ones so easily refuted, forgotten
Love shut off just like that, how quaint  
Like a game of bowling
I am the pins
I set myself up to be knocked down
But I never thought you would throw the ball
Or actually I did but I soaked in denial
Ball came rolling fast, unstoppable, fierce
So yes I shattered into the pavement
I felt water fill my lungs as my vision darkened
I suffocated in the vacuum of space, surrounded by darkening stars
I set myself up to be destroyed
If I put the pieces back together perhaps I may learn
That words mean so little these days
My mind is logical
I now follow it to the end
Anon C Nov 2012
Tell me I am beautiful
That I make one touch the stars
Tell me I am pure
That my existence makes the world bright
Tell me I am lovely
That I feel like satin sheets
Tell me I am wise
That I soak up knowledge, understand all
Tell me I am sweet
That if lips touch mine nothing matters
Tell me I am kind
That with me here naught can feel pain
Tell me I am the only one
That no one else could make you feel this way
*Lie to me
I need to hear lovely lies
I was singing Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac in the shower today. Great song.
Anon C Jan 2014
You painted yourself with every color
I may have loved black and white as much if not more
yet the ink was illegible between the lines

I never knew who resided in the picture
decimation claims the land that would be our future
with lies justified in anothers eyes
Making yourself someone you're not is never good. Never makes you more than what you are. As the grimm brothers so graciously put it, "The sun always brings truth to light."
Anon C Dec 2012
A relief in a way
blank like a sheet of paper, nay not paper, a tree uncut
not yet even paper
gasping tendrils cannot form, cannot be voiced
housing no muse, reaching out to smoke
a relief in a way
also a curse
when naught brings life but words
what is it my mind is seeking
holding onto endless vague emotions
they wave tauntingly across a vast distance
sneering, as I chase them across an arid desert
through treacherous mountain passes
always a few dances ahead, mocking me in my limbo
where is my emotion
I feel it tearing me to pieces
at what is it directed
Anon C Nov 2012
When is it I am useful
I am screaming for you
Do you not hear
Yes, I know you do
Have I so little value
To be discarded
At the earliest convenience
Could you just listen
Is that too **** much to ask
Let me stop screaming
My voice has become hoarse
Listen
Respond
Guide me
When I am lost
Anon C Nov 2019
An ugly little toy doll
Sits in the corner watching, waiting
for you to come play
Brush her hair, clean her pain

She's waiting for you to come and play
Show her the monsters deep inside her soul
And tell her they'll consume her whole
If she doesn't come and play
Come and play

A pretty little toy doll
Sits in the sun smiling with a song
waiting for you to come say
I'll never paint your smile black

She's waiting for you to come and play
Show her the monsters deep inside her soul
Tell her they'll consume her whole
She's afraid to die slow
Come and play

An ugly little toy doll
sits in the corner watching, waiting
For you to come play
Rip out her hair, tell her she is your pain
Come and play
As it is sung. I ******* hate myself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EWOfyNuM34
Anon C May 2014
You said we could do anything
you were right
so why am I doing it alone
Slowly I fall apart
As this fight erodes
my layers of steel, stone and bone

Weathering away grains of time
Slip, slipping across the sky line
Awaiting the day when it's finally safe to say
goodbye

Did you know about my lockbox
Hidden deep within my dark
Kept safe for a rainy day
A hole perpetuated when you left
The time will be right
When nothing more is left to say

Weathering away grains of time
Slip, slipping across the sky line
Awaiting the day when it's finally safe to say
goodbye

You said we could do anything
Then why did I do it alone
When you let me fade into the cold

I did not wish to return to the light
On this last night the time was right
The line went dead
Nothing more was said
Oh lockbox
My only sweet friend
In the end
In the end
Anon C Sep 2014
Can you hear the clock 'a ticking
won't you come to the meadow soon
lay my dead bones 'a dancing
to stare up at the moon

will you come down to see me
when my bones are in the grave
I ask cause you haven't been here lately
and I'd like to see your face

the flowers 'neath my head have changed to brown
and the nearby trees are quite aged
you never took the time to come around
to bid me farewell at my grave

the clock has long since stopped ticking
and the meadow has faded into ruin
my bones have forever ceased their dancing
eyes darkened by the moon

*please come and see me soon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oTmhM0oc8E

Here is the song played not sung
Anon C Dec 2012
Every moment that you are not here
My mind screams, echoing a sad song
The days drag on so weary and long
Each second, unsure how I endure

How do I move my body when so inept
A part of me is missing, am I with you
For I cannot see me, left without a clue
I hope you hold me close, safely kept

Feeling so lost, forlorn path I walk
May I for one moment prove my love
Nothing may in this light here, now or above
Except the fact you haunt me, 'round the clock

Do you feel this too, the madness
The thought your other half is untouchable
Or am I insane, dysfunctional
It has me wallowing in sadness

These thoughts are probably unfair
Alas, I find myself too selfish in my mind
I cannot help it, your light has me utterly blind
Wishing it was my time you could share
Anon C Dec 2012
I love abandoned barns and dilapidated fences
Long forgotten, some seek to call them useless
I love them still, the care taken when first built
Years of mirth and much use put forth within their vibrant beings
Alas, yes abandoned but they still seem useful to me
The years may have worn them down, appearing to be ugly
But I would still play within the walls of ye old barn
I would still caress you tattered fence, knowing you protect my land
You still hold value in my eyes, even when you appear eroded
This thought came to mind when my neighbor said she hated her neighbors fence and wanted a white one. I told her I love the old dilapidated wood. That is was beautiful. It came back when I saw an old abandoned barn. I take these words to state I feel this for these objects but I tried to write it as applicable to a person as well.
Anon C Jan 2016
Pining for wintry eyes
Formed a habit to be despised
Like the ghost of a cigarette
In an ex smokers hand

Fumbling for icy fingertips
Afraid, blind in the dark
Like a small child
Plunged into a nightmare

Searching for scorching lips
Like a gas soaked kerosene rope
Ready to be set aflame
Burning away into ashes then nothingness

Hidden are the sun and moon
Like an old memory lost in the woodwork
Looking young, feeling aged
Collapsing in the Sahara desert
These thoughts plague a mind
When one is lost in time
Anon C Dec 2012
I notice when you go
My voice calls, come back
I notice when fellow poets cease posting and it feels like a piece of me is missing. Come back.
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