There is an empty chair
that heads the Christmas table
that you my love would fill
if only you were able

But you're here within our hearts
Christmas and every day
We all love and miss you terribly
every hour you spend away

Come home safe to your family
your children and your wife
That once more we'll be together
once more you'll complete my life

So with a Christmas wish of peace
for you and those under your care
I raise my glass to you my love
and soldiers everywhere.

The pain I feel is not my own
least the pain that hurts the most
For it belongs to another
and it hurts more with every post

I see his pain in black and white
and feel it in my soul
Not allowed to help him through it
denied his hand to hold

And while I'm sat here hurting
searching for what to say
I would gladly triple what I feel
if it took his pain away

I can feel the mask is slipping
that the cracks are plain to see
with every poem that I write
people see the real me

They see the pain I'm feeling
they sense what I have lost
and I pray that in their lifetime
they never have to face this cost

For so long I've been "doing fine"
and "What's up?" is "nothing new"
But the truth is I've been broken
not so cleanly, but in two

I tried for so long now to hide it
while I regroup and make me whole
but the truth is that aint happening
the lights gone out, I've lost my soul

So for now I'll put the pen down
crawl into be and close my eyes
And pray that in the morning
I'll have the strength to live the lies

I never knew the darkness
until it was too late
My once knight in shining armour
now clad in rusty iron plate

The first time I saw the darkness
it took me by surprise
How such a sweet and gentle man
could have such anger in his eyes

But the anger couldn’t be contained
he had to set the darkness free
And though I’m not sure what I did
he let it loose on me

He said after he was sorry
that the fault wasn’t all mine
that he would never come at me again
he would never cross that line

But there’s a darkness lives inside him
is it the best that I deserve
after all I have to take some blame
after all its all I’m worth

But I find if I watch what I say
make sure he doesn’t get so sad
life with him is pretty good
and on the whole its not so bad

The darkness doesn’t spill out much
but he’s my husband I’m his wife
and its up to me to do my best
to give us both a happy life.

I look back now and can’t see what the rush was all about.

I sometimes wonder if it would have been different for both of us if we’d waited.

I mean, what was the big deal about getting it done before we were legally allowed to. Did it make it more special, more precious, more anything?

It’s kinda sad, the reason I remember it. It’s not because the earth shook or I heard choirs of angels or anything, in truth it was awkward, it was fumbled and it hurt and it didn’t take very long. I just remember it because it was my first.

It’s not that I didn’t love you, as much as a girl three weeks shy of her 16th birthday loves anything, it’s just that I wish it had been more. I wish that we had saved each other until we knew what we were doing and knew what it was all about. But how does that work? How can we save ourselves until we’re better at it without doing it first to know what we’re doing wrong. Or doing right. I just wish we’d done it better so I could remember all those things about it, about you, too.

I think about you sometimes.

I know it’s been nearly 25 years since we last spoke, just because that’s the way life turned out for us. But I wonder where you are and what you’re doing and if your life is everything you wanted it to be. You used to paint such great pictures about what you wanted to do.

Although it was never the same picture twice.

I bet you’re an artist of some kind. Or a professional dreamer, if there is such a thing. It’s a shame we never kept in touch, but probably for the best. School doesn’t go on forever and neither do the lives we had while we were there.

We get grown up lives instead. Lives with mortgages and bills to pay and jobs to do and responsibilities.

You and me, well we belonged to a time before that. A time when our biggest worry was if we’d done our homework. But we shared something that we only get to share once.

And for all that it wasn’t, I’m glad I shared it with you.

Think of me when I am gone
but do so without a frown
for I'm no longer of this earth
I'm just elsewhere looking down

I wait for you by candlelight
in the rocker by the door
knowing it is far too late
but waiting evermore

the roads they are not safe night
with bandits all around
and I know my brave brave husband
would fight and stand his ground

the clock ticks on in silence
as minutes turn to hours
how can I shed this fear
as my courage it devours

ears strained I listen
to every crack and howl
recognizing in an instant
the sound of play thats fowl

the sound of running horses
the clash of sharpened sabers
shouts and cries of agony
toward death its author labours

but with the silence of the night
noises carried on the breeze
could be the battle close at hand
or off a thousand leagues

I clutch my breast and hold my breath
as a shadow comes to sight
of an injured wounded man
still bloodied from the fight

I rush to catch him as he falls
praise be that he is you
you're exhausted, wounded, bleeding
but with gods help you'll make it through

and finally we make it home
but I'm afraid I must lament
"you bought semi skimmed you idiot,
I wanted 2 percent!"

Men! They can never get anything right!

For so long I have been without
convinced passion bit the dust
and then one day you came along
and somehow lit the lust.

Your words were sheer poetry
emotion did not hide
perhaps that was the spark
that lit the fire inside.

Now I remember how it feels
my passions I will trust
Get your *** here loverboy
to be with you I must.

It used to be
when I was three
you'd pick up a shell
and hear the sea

But now we cant do that no more
as oil comes flooding to our shore
And when my little girl is three
there'll be no shells left, thanks BP.

So forever lasted five short years
before you turned my smile to tears
before you threw my love away
almost five years ago today

Happy anniversary ******* !

When I say "I don't want to talk"
it's not always the case
Cos I'm a complicated member
of this old human race

And when I say "I want to be alone"
that may also not be true
It's just my way of saying
how much I want to be with you

I know it doesn't make sense
and I know it isn't fair
But sometimes we just say these things
so you can show how much you care

"I'd really rather not talk"
means come hold me while I cry
"There's no way we can do it"
means I want so much to try

"I wouldn't be great company"
means please just come around
and listen to the things I say
without making a sound.

Sometimes I spill my problems
just hear them out loud
or to know that someone's listening
my voice not lost within the crowd

But sometimes I mean what I say
no hidden message or other need
and the day that you worked that one out
was the day you set your seed

Too many others in the past
were too blind or scared to see
That nothings ever simple
in complicated me.

What causes an attraction
where on earth does it come from
Who decides if it makes sense
Who decides if it is wrong

We all like to look at pretty things
but thats not all it is
Sometimes just the sound of someones voice
gets your hormones in a tizz

Honesty and integrity
and qualities that you admire
Personality's another thing
that somehow lights your fire

Is it right that any one of these
fires my imagination
or will a sign of two or more
mean less heartbreak and frustration

Either way there's something there
and I don't know what it is
I know whats going on in my mind
wish I knew whats going on in his

One more night together over.
It's that time again I know
For you to say you have work early
and me to say "please don't go"

You work late almost every night,
which explains why you don't show.
And every time you have to leave
I beg you "please, don't go"

But the wife I never knew about
called here not long ago.
So before you try hard to explain.
Please dont. Go!

I was sitting on the swing
underneath the old oak tree
listening to the crickets sing
their chorus unto me

I sat there as the summers breeze
caressed my face and stroked my hair
and yet such a perfect moment
was incomplete without you there

It seems like only yesterday
you would count and I would hide
and at supper time you'd find me
home on your shoulders I would ride

But sat here on the old swing
neath the tree beside the bush
the tears ran down your daughters face
when I said "push me daddy push"

It doesn't feel like twenty years ago
that you carried me on high
but sure enough that time has passed
in the blinking of an eye

But even though I'm nearly 30 now
and my hair no longer curls
I'll always be your Annie
daddy's little girl.

I look into the mirror
at the lines upon my face
and wonder how some people
seem to age with naught but grace

There is grey around my temples
and crowsfeet at my eyes
and my tummy is no longer flat
and I've cottage cheese for thighs

And I think about my youth
and the shape I used to be
and it seems that girl with the ponytail
could never look like me

But when I look deep into my eyes
I see her looking back at me
and she looks so very happy now
compared to what she used to be

The anger and mistrust has gone
filled with a deeper pride
and it seems the destination
after all was worth the ride.

I used to be a model
in magazines and on TV
but the person you all worshiped
wasn't me, wasn't me

The only thing that mattered
was how I looked and what I weigh
so I'd binge then make myself sick
every day, every day

But I found out the hard way
that when you end this ride
you're suddenly a nobody
and you feel like suicide

And all your friends desert you
when the spotlight goes away
The fame and fortune disappears
when you have nothing to say

It took the words of a stranger
in the absence of a friend
To make me want to carry on
not draw my life to an end

She found me crying in the park
this old woman of eighty two
she was the one that told me
whats in the picture isn't you

A picture's just a memory
caught on film or on a page
a fleeting moment of your past
in which you'll never age

So dry your eyes and carry on
don't fall victim to your past
your beauty is inside you
and that will always last.

Does one thing really mean another
or is that all in my head
Why do I feel the words I heard
are not what he really said

Am I right to be suspicious
should I stay or walk away
He claims all that it is in the past
but what else would he say

I've tried hard to just get over it
forgive him and move on
but I can't bring myself to trust him
tell me is that right or wrong?

Perhaps my gut is telling me
things I don't want to hear
but my heart is fighting back
and it makes my path unclear

so tell me what would you do
if the one you loved did stray
would you forgive him and start over
or turn and walk away?

Its been one of those weeks
so I don't know what to write
but thankfully its **** day
the weekend is in sight

Monday was well just Monday
which by now I should expect
but I must admit I wasn't ready
for just what happened next

When I woke up Tuesday morning
I had overslept of course
and the milk was more like yoghurt
which just made a bad day worse

By the time I finally got to work
I'd a ladder in my hose
and allergies were in full swing
you'd swear I'd Rudolph's nose

Of course the coffee *** was empty
and the printer it had jammed
and by now it's almost lunchtime
so there's no one to lend a hand

So I worked through lunch to catch up
and somehow make amends
but then my PC up and died
which drives me round the bends

When everyone came back from lunch
I could hear all of their sniggers
Until someone finally told me
I'd my skirt tucked in my knickers

how did we get to where we are
from where we used to be
how did we get from faith
to doubt in all we see

how did the face that lit my day
cause me pain and sleepless nights
how could the one who did no wrong
fail to do so many rights

how could the one I loved so much
be the one I now despise
how could the one who held my trust
repay me naught but lies

how can you treat people this way
and be proud of what you do
and look to me for sympathy
when someone does it to you

you play out your pity party
and expect me to feel sad
well honey here's my news for you
thats just too ******' bad

Oh Farmville, Farmville you fill my day
that otherwise I'd throw away

I'd work I'd wash I'd clean I'd cook
And otherwise be off Facebook

But thanks to all my Farmville friends
I've chicks to feed and fields to tend

Crops to sell and barns to raise
this is now, how i spend my days

Oh look a purple cow!

I now know why I struggled
what it was I couldn't see
for all this time I thought
that us meant you and me

You were hesitant 'bout moving in
I saw doubt within your eyes
I had no idea another lay
behind your compromise

I thought its what we wanted
to be just you and me
How could I be so stupid
How could I not see

You weren't weighing decision
careful choosing right from wrong
You were thinking how your choices
would affect her all along

I now know why you struggled
what it was I couldn't see
for all this time our partnership
had member number three

I really had no clue
You did well to hide it so
But now us is just too crowded
So its time for me to go.

Sometimes I feel poetic
when my creative juices flow
I paint pictures with my words
letting secrets of me show

I wax lyrical of noble truths
and feelings oh so deep
Reciting tragic circumstance
enough to make you weep

But there are times
when my poetic side
is all used up and spent
And its exactly that moment
that I told you to get bent

Now I know it wasn't pretty
and some say a little crude
perhaps a little harsh
maybe a little rude

But really can you blame me
what you said just made me tick
I know my *** looks big in this
you stupid little *****