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May 2015 · 297
Loving Failure
Anni May 2015
Reaching up to a world we forgot
And smiling, crying
What liars we are
We cut the thread of destiny
And run away from ourselves
We try to find our own path
And fail to protect our hearts
Falling in love is so pathetic
It hurts, tears us apart,
Burns us, turns our heart into ice
We fail to understand
We fail to see our mistakes
We fail, but that is human
At least, they said that
What liars we are
What liars they are
We laugh and our soul dies
While we reach up to the sky.
Anni Mar 2015
The princess dancing under the moon
An angel full of hope and dread
Blooming flowers wilting soon
And leaving many things unsaid

Her eyes are tears and desperate cries
Ans useless stomping on the ground.
Oh, please, remember all your lies,
Listen to your dreadful sounds.

Dear princess, time is almost up
And soon you'll return to the cage
So just sit down and don't grow up
Don't leave this glorious stage.

Dead flowers growing at your feet
Your sins etched into your crown
Combine them, see them, let them meet
And I will watch you breaking down.
Mar 2015 · 323
Father
Anni Mar 2015
The world is full
Of ****** reds
And smiles that burst
And wings that burn
And all those screams that break my world

There were times I cried,
But not today and
never for you.
You broke me, yes, of course
But I still refuse to give in.
I´m worthless.
A fragment of what I was
So long, so long ago.
I´m not sad, I act
And you don´t see it
Maybe you don´t want to.
Maybe you forgot
My real smile and laugh.
Maybe you just don´t care anymore.

Maybe I just failed to be
Who you wanted me to be.
Maybe, just maybe
You just don´t care anymore.

I failed to be perfect.
Worthless.
Stupid.
Ugly, even.

There were times I dared to object.
But rarely,
For you. Just for you.
You ignored me for so long
I don´t even remember your voice,
When you say
“Well done”
Useless.
A wilted flower
that never bloomed, you know?
I´m not angry.
Not at all, but you
Won´t see it anyway.
Maybe you forgot my voice as well.
Or you really don´t care anymore.

The world is full of colours,
And I see them in a haze.
Smiling desires
Bleeding hearts.
Endless agony.
And it´s all your fault
Mar 2015 · 296
In my mind
Anni Mar 2015
I am dancing on the surface of watery memories
To a song of long lost, precious melodies.

To a transparent silence searching for answers
To a poem of sorrowful, lonely actors

To the slow, careful brushes of the painter today
And tomorrow maybe I´ll hear someone pray.

For all I remember is the absence of love
Neither first nor last, nor another I heard of.

Did I forget it or never felt it at all?
Am I still human or just a lifeless doll?

I watch them all walking by, one or two.
I never noticed the sketches I drew.

Of the sun and the clouds on a blue, blue sky
Of the sad smiles when they say goodbye.

Maybe I´m broken, but I am never sad.
Or maybe I´m fine and the world is mad.

In the end I can´t bring myself to care.
(What a liar I am in my mindless despair)

I scatter the sketches on the sky I can´t touch
I reach out, but really, it doesn´t help much.

My prayer never reached anyone here
The image in my head will just disappear

The poem will be buried by a happy end
And finally the questions will just pretend

That the noise is something worth of a melody
And the memories will burn with private jealousy.
Mar 2015 · 362
Our colourful insanity
Anni Mar 2015
Ash white fury
in our dreams,
fighting, screaming,
left in tears

Yellow envy
shining need,
what´s yours is mine
this is my greed

Orange pain
on desert sands
burning, slashing
in my hands

Passion red
and lovely hatred
fiery scars
that never faded

Purple frustration,
never enough
“I am alright”
a bitter bluff

Blue is drowning,
fears and cold
hiding when the
tales are told

Sickening green,
again and again,
Cowardice, now
and taking blame

Warming black
the final dark
Death came here
and left his mark.
Mar 2015 · 217
If only
Anni Mar 2015
If only I remembered
Who I´m supposed to be
If only they would smile
Once again at me
If only time stopped now
And mirrors fell apart
If only they came back
Who tore apart my heart
If only I was cold
On this field of snow
If only stars fell down
Saving with their glow
If only I could buy
The pride they felt back then
If only all those memories
Would disappear again
If only I could watch
The sun rise back to heaven
If only I could feel the warmth
That I thought was leaving.
If only they would go
Those who promised light
If only I could run
Faster in this night of white
If only fragments cried
So many other me´s
If only I forgot
What was supposed to
Mar 2015 · 324
Brothers
Anni Mar 2015
Goodbye my brothers
I couldn't smile
What's gone is gone
There's always hope
She said
And disappeared in smoke
The first fell by the hand of sword
A coward slashed his back
And blind eyes lost their light
He fell on ***** ground
The second fought so brave
But once he saw the dead
He lost the fight and grieved
Hands barely touching then
The third, he tried his best
But one arm useless, gone
He said goodbye, forever
And I watched him fall as well
Our father lost so long ago
They said I had disappeared
And now that I saw all them here
The blood, the cries
I grieved
And in my rage I killed
The one who should be dead
Already, long, so long ago
Goodbye my brothers
I only smiled
What's gone is gone
There's always hope
She said
When I disappeared in smoke.
In memory of that one episode in TMNT, where Donnie had to watch his family fall apart.
Mar 2015 · 248
That day
Anni Mar 2015
One day her hands
They fell apart into
Ashes of desert sands
The wind blew away
The fragments and left
Everything behind destroyed
And scared and burnt
On that day
Her voice lost its echo
On this eternal field
Of ice and cold
And just as cold burns
That ate into her flesh
Swallowing her tears
That night
She lost her soul
To a demon of beauty unknown
And we lost her
Her voice, her hands
She left us all behind
On those cold and hot
Fields of fire and ice
And we cried for her
Oh, so much, so much
We craved for her
We prayed for her
We sang for her
Until we fell to ash that day.
Mar 2015 · 604
Foolish
Anni Mar 2015
Foolish** dancers on the stage
Foolish ghosts in desperate rage
Foolish gods within our reach
Foolish humans lost their speech.
Foolish, foolish, so much fun
Messing with the foolish, dumb
Seeming stupid, playing games
Tricking all those acting saints.
Foolish people in my hands
Foolish dreams like desert sands
Foolish children full of hope
Foolish grabbing for a rope.
Foolish, foolish , so much fun
Messing with the  foolish , dumb
Looking stupid, playing games
Tricking all those acting saint s.
Mar 2015 · 322
Guilt
Anni Mar 2015
Tears of glass,
Shards of ****** diamonds,
Cutting guilt into this skin
Of transparent innocence.

Painted in red,
A canvas of broken colours
Showing drowned emotions
And long lost memories.

Hurting, screaming, silent
Scared
Praying for the time,
To heal this wounds...
Mar 2015 · 454
Nightmare
Anni Mar 2015
Disturbed by angels in the sky

you walk through broken dreams.

The fool, he dances by your side

and listens to yout screams.


And there is no one in this town

to save you from this torturous pain,

the angels dancing just around

and spreading soulless acid rain.


In agony you cry your tears

watching storming, fleeing skies

and the darkening, empty town

swallows all the angels lies.


Disturbed by all those angels ways

you're running through the streets.

And your fool dances by your side

in this town of soulless dreams

— The End —