“I feel very dependent on people’s mood and that’s a really bad addiction because you’re always expecting something good when it’s not up to your own actions.

You think people can make you happy but the thing is
They don’t even know how you feel about them and most of the time, they just don’t ******* care.
They like you for a day and find you annoying.
When they see you, they’re smiling but they hate you in secret.

They wanna make you believe you’re a nice person
But stab you in the back when they talk to other people.

What’s gone wrong I wonder and who are they?
I found out they were closer than I’d like to own up.

My neighbors, my classmates
Former friends or students I’ve talked to once cause they asked for my help.

They’re everywhere and think the same.
They swear on truth but their mouths speak poison
Their eyes are snakes and whatever they say, it’s a lie that comes out.

How can they be honest when they’re lying to themselves?
They don’t know about love, about trust.
I hate how they pretend to be free when they’re just lost but they don’t know it
They’re ignorant and they’re mean and I’m so sick of their tricks
I’d do anything to make them see it.

It’s hurtful and destructive
The anger won't wear off
And I wanna stop believing they know what they’re capable of.

Someday they’ll wake up and realize it’s useless to claim they don’t care
Cause they don’t know it but they do.
That’s a thing they hate to admit but they should.

And it’s alright to be weak
Being true isn’t a flaw.
Stop kicking your heart so hard
It’s just waiting for you to grow".

Beginnings are the hardest things to start with.
It’s an experience you don’t have and it scares your confidence.
It’s like adopting a child and never meeting his parents.
It’s like driving for the first time and shaking on the wheel
Or trying to tell someone a story about something you never did.
It’s like having to do things for your own good
But knowing it won’t change you.
You know you should.
You do want to but something stronger’s controlling you.
And you hate yourself for fearing the time when you’ll fail because of this very moment.
It shows why you’re not brave, you’re not independent.
Oh you wanna be so, you wanna prove the world you can do something good
But is it really to them that you owe it to?
Isn’t it your life you’re trying to do right
And aren’t you the one making decisions and feeling bad afterwards?
You need to be selfish and determined.
You need to be missing all the childish times you’ve had, think about them when you’re down but bury all of those in the ground when it comes to looking forward.
You can’t afford to waste your life because you’re too slack to stand up and act.
You don’t want to look back one day on the things you’ve never done and cry your heart out because you hate who you’ve become.
It’s not when it’ll be too late you will have a chance to make it up for that.
Focus on goals and work it all out, you’ll see it’s easier when you believe you did right, when you’re proud of  your life, when you know there’s nothing you could’ve done better in this one.

I've had trouble sleeping lately because I think about you and what I imagine in dreams got me insanely confused.
Memories of the past but mostly moments, images of what we have and pieces of what I want.
Fantasies, desires that I can't achieve in real life because your heart is cut in half and I won't let you break mine.
Every night, I toss and turn like a lion in a cage, like your face is a curse and a gift all at once, a burning candle I can't touch if I want to stay alive.
And when my imagination gets rid of all the wax, when I'm too tired to have you back in mind, when the hours fly away from dusk till sunrise, I finally break free from your ghost but the shadows still secretly remaining show me once again that I'm already lost.

You will find that they are rules beyond laws and fools in everything love does. It’s more than just passion and it’s stronger than life. It’s like a flow of emotions playing you like toys. If you’re too weak, it’s so painful it makes you bleed from the inside and you don’t understand why such a powerful thing took over you like it did. One can’t imagine the force it’s bringing in a heart once it’s big enough to fill the hole. A hole dug by addiction and loss, made by fear and disappointment, a hole that will always get bigger if no one believes it can close. But some wounds are better left open as long as the right cure has not been found and a scar that can’t be healed is not something that you can hide. It shows every day on your face, in your eyes, in the way you look at people you like, in the way you talk, in the way you think, people can see that you don’t believe. Yet, there’s no need to hurt for something you want so bad. You can have everything you want if you know yourself enough.

I missed you. I was gone for long that's true, I've done you wrong. I don't know why, though. My mind's been busy with the highs and lows of life's mystery. I've kept wondering about people and feelings. How they can hurt so much and how they control me. I hate it but that's how it is. You know me enough, you know what I mean. I didn't write my thoughts down because I didn't need to. I don't think it's betrayal. See, I'm writing them now. Better late than never they say. Performing it here is like regaining a strength, really. Like I'm meeting an old friend I haven't been seeing.
And it feels good. I feel tired because of course it's late and I'm in bed but how I'm thrilled for fighting sleep cause once again, I'm inspired by the months I've had to live, away from family and friends I admire, away from the fire of the trouble that used to consume me. And still, not much has changed. I've learned a lot. I've read books and took a plane. I've talked. I've been a fool and unafraid and look. I'm still faithful to a piece of paper and a pen cause after all I've been through, I endlessly trust them.
That's the great thing about you. You don't talk, you listen. You don't judge, you're patient. You don't move, you don't flee. You just stay and stand still and the words are like a wave crushing your skin, brushing your face but you don't care.
I write and you let me. I'm glad I have the chance cause it's the only thing I will never regret.

I feel your heart when our fingers brush
It's pumping faster when we touch
Don't let go. Stay right where you are
You should know. I might die if we part.

Strength is not about how much you have to go through,
It's about how much you can take.

Even when the world cries
Through horrors and tragedies
Because your raging heart never dies
You are better than you believe.
I know it's wrong and bad inside
Hope has left, goodness is gone
But raise your head, make up your mind
You're the hero that people called.

Life is a poisoned gift, a gambling game
And no matter what you do to make it better
It may never change.

We know it’s hard to battle and we may not win in the end
But what if victory was just one way to reach peace
Power of mind, beauty of life, freedom of speech
There’s so much to achieve when you fight for yourself.

And I live.
I played with death and I win.
Every time.
I rest my head and I think.
Can it be.
I stayed alive for one thing.
Changing lives.
I bear the price on my belly.
It's a scar.
I came to love what it means.
I can live.
And leave a trace on Planet Earth.
And take the place that I deserve.
Right here.

What are you doing ma'am, in front of the mirror, checking yourself out like you're looking for errors?
Well I'm just scanning the body, testing my limits, trying to see where the fat is and the fact is, it's everywhere.
Mostly on my mind cause there's always hope to change curves and battle calories but it's tricky and no matter how hard I struggle, I see nothing happening.

All the hours eating to forget, eating to feel good, eating to be more than the scared little girl dealing with all the **** she went through. Eating to waste time, eating to have fun and eating to please the palate, the nervous system and the five senses inside.
On this leather couch, watching TV; and who said it was true you weren't the product of society? I am, I was and it's made me into this.

I'm looking into that mirror and all I want is an answer.



Am I beautiful?

Letting air out, breathing deeply
Eyes are closed & hands are heavy
Heart’s pounding at maximum speed.
On the edge, facing the wind
Clouds are grey but the Sun is shining.
And your ears ache, your toes are freezing
Because the snow is getting deadly
But you’re not afraid of what could that be.
Your life’s over and you know what it means.
Getting to see those you lost, feeling at last that you have hopes.
Begging to fly to the other side and spending days dying out
See this ship made of white pearls, maybe that’s you, maybe that’s it.
Enjoy this trip of thousand worlds. You won’t come back that easily.

Well, I met you in the strangest way possible. Both of our souls have been hurt and torn apart, hit so hard they won't grow back. But I was born with a fierce flame my friend. I was born thinking this world is a chance and a gift, a miracle I want to outlive forever for the sake of my being and the joy of my children. I believe I came into this world to give. To inspire. And the day I met you, it felt like I had failed. Somehow life had forgotten what everyone deserves: hope and faith. A hope in the future, in the beautiful wonders that one can encounter on their way to the tomb. The faith in oneself and in the many beauties of how we all come out of a womb. It might seem stupid and ridiculous but that night, I took my guitar, sat down for a while and made a song to heal your heart. I absorbed your pains and frustrations, your loneliness and desperation to turn them all into my love for this world so you can see there's good, there's life, there's a place you belong to and a sunshine in every cloud. Take it. Take that sunshine and make it the biggest light you've ever known. Follow it no matter where you go, no matter what you do or hate one day when you'll look at yourself. This light is hope and faith. This light is the heritage of my own strength. Now it's time for you to walk out there and make a change.

Every time, I draw. I draft stupid things I don’t like but it passes the time.
Circles and curves, my pen draws curls and shapes, boys and girls, pets and landscapes, stuff that are nonsense in everybody else’s world.
Starting a line not knowing what it is, that’s fascinating to imagine why everything’s s easy to make, too weird to make real but so fun to create.
You don’t think. You let dreams draw your wish and in the end you feel kind of proud and fulfilled to see you’re not that empty inside.

Hey You. Yes You. Capital letter for a beautiful dreamer. Heart of Gold and Mind of Stone but a weakness affecting them both. No Strength maybe, no Will. Few Friends and too many Ifs. "If I was Better, oh What If I Can't. Would I be Stronger? Should I be Dead..."

But Hey You that I know so well. You that I've seen today, that I've tried to comfort in the rain, let me say that a Voice woke me up one night and It whispered a few thoughts in my head.
And in my mind, I realized It was myself. Only this Voice was the Soul I had kept ignoring all my life, the Piece of the puzzle I had wept for all this time. A God I'd forgotten to love again.

You are the hero. Because your life should matter more to yourself than anything you think you know. Because someone looks up to you, someone can see this. Someone somewhere can believe you are fearless. And this someone should be You.

Tonight I'm thrilled.
I'm tired but I finally want to say something happy.
No more despair, no more thinking life's too hard to live it; that's okay.
Alicia's in my ears, the weekend's coming.
I'm about to see friends I thought had forgotten me.
Some have unfortunately.
But it's a blessing in disguise.
I have never been freer and it was about time.
To all the good people I'm about to meet.
To all the previous ones that always stayed
To my loving and only family
Whose presence I cherish every day.

No matter hardships, disappointments, bad luck,
as long as you’re breathing and you know it,
don’t even think it’s not worth it.

Your life is a gift and even if it sometimes feels like hell you need to tell yourself that you will survive it.
As I’m watching you laying here, sleeping with tiredness and you told me you hated it and you couldn't bear living like this, I’m hoping you can somehow see the bright side of it cause it’s there.

I’d rather have to go through all this for months than never being able to see you again my friend.
It can take this stuff to happen for you to realize you’re not done with life, you’re gonna keep fighting, you’re gonna win, you always do and as long as I’m here, I will keep reminding you.

Let the Sun shine upon you, He can be your friend. Let Him be a God for you, He can ease your pain. As diamonds He glows, making you feel better and when the Moon shows up like a mirror, He illuminates the life of others. Nothing can hide Him, not even the clouds, sometimes they’re so thin that His sunlight breaks throughout. And He will never go, you can be sure of it, that’s something you need to know. It will somehow help you live. He’s always here when I’m not right, looking up is my gift. He makes me forget I can’t fly and has become my only belief. But there’s something I love more, it’s beautiful and unreal, it’s for sure what I’m living for and this is how He makes me feel. When I see that there’s a life over there, when I realize He’s the king, when I’d love to be a stream of air to rise above this world and touch Him. Heralds are the birds, the Angel is the Wind and I’m swallowed in the twirl when a wave brushes my skin. Bringing thrilling scents and the softest sounds ever sent, the brightest light over our heads and a reason to stare and stand, the Wind and the Sun are the true loyal heroes of all the people living on this Land.

Every time, I draw. I draft stupid things I don’t like but it passes the time.
Circles and curves, my pen draws curls and shapes, boys and girls, pets and landscapes, stuff that is nonsense in everybody else’s world.
Starting a line not knowing what it is; that’s fascinating to imagine why everything’s so easy to make, too weird to make real but so fun to create.
You don’t think. You let dreams draw your wish and in the end you feel kind of proud and fulfilled to see you’re not that empty inside.