Annelise

Annelise Oct 2014

When you came in, I lost it. It feels like serenity doesn't lie within peace; the chaos you started has no cause, no quality transcending your status; your presence has peeled off the skin from the body I inhabit, your whole embrace has triggered a feeling I forgot existed; for a reason I suppose. I run away from ghosts who haunt without mercy, their ignorance is outrageous but I'm the only sinner here. Masters of hearts and destinies I am not, as much as I wish for the possibility, and the knowledge of my own condition doesn't make it easier to face demons, far from it. I let them, oh I let them get the best of me like it has to happen, like I lose the fight as soon as I am aware there is safety at stake.

Annelise Jul 2014

Let The Pen Speak Your Mind

Every time, I draw. I draft stupid things I don’t like but it passes the time.
Circles and curves, my pen draws curls and shapes, boys and girls, pets and landscapes, stuff that is nonsense in everybody else’s world.
Starting a line not knowing what it is; that’s fascinating to imagine why everything’s so easy to make, too weird to make real but so fun to create.
You don’t think. You let dreams draw your wish and in the end you feel kind of proud and fulfilled to see you’re not that empty inside.

Annelise Jun 2014

Hypoxanthine-Guanine Phosphoribosyltransferase Deficiency

It would be easy to say you're like the others who came and went. It would be easy to complain you're gonna leave and I'll be there, crying, writing, cursing your name but I know you won't. You're the best thing that's ever happened, you're a mystery I can't solve and I don't. I don't understand how you came but it doesn't matter. You baffle me, you shock me, your words are poetry and your soul is a wonder I cannot stop admiring. How do you do it, why me, "what is this I'm feeling" as they say? I couldn't care less, I've wanting this for too long to crush it with questions cause I'm scared inside but we both are...right? I know myself and having you in my life means I don't get to let you go, I don't get to watch you suffer like they did, that I can promise. Never mind the pain, the bad habits, I have too much energy in me to dry a billion tears and your wounds are temporary. I might not say it enough and I apologize but you mean a lot and it's a surprise I ever felt like not telling you. You were there in my mind, in my heart and I had no clue.

It's over, I'm done thinking this is no good.

Welcome.

Annelise May 2014

People

People are everywhere
People are good and bad
People are beautiful but sad and when
They pass my door with their smile and their tears
I can see I'm one of them entirely.

They make me whole, they crush me down
They're my gift and my doom
And I succumb to their various charms
As soon as they're of use, as long as they feel nice
People are weakness and wonder
People are friends and lovers
And I'm one of their kind.

Annelise May 2014

Mirror (slam)

What are you doing ma'am, in front of the mirror, checking yourself out like you're looking for errors?
Well I'm just scanning the body, testing my limits, trying to see where the fat is and the fact is, it's everywhere.
Mostly on my mind cause there's always hope to change curves and battle calories but it's tricky and no matter how hard I struggle, I see nothing happening.

All the hours eating to forget, eating to feel good, eating to be more than the scared little girl dealing with all the **** she went through. Eating to waste time, eating to have fun and eating to please the palate, the nervous system and the five senses inside.
On this leather couch, watching TV; and who said it was true you weren't the product of society? I am, I was and it's made me into this.

I'm looking into that mirror and all I want is an answer.

Am I beautiful?

Annelise Apr 2014

It Seems To Me

It seems to me that happiness is made of thin glass and confidence is the diamond hidden behind the window.

It seems to me that laughing is a bell that rings whenever the hunchback is ready to leave home.

It seems to me that friendship is a thread that connects every soul to another with no regard for difference.

It seems to me that love is the bomb that's triggered in secret when someone longs for acceptance.

It seems to me that people are taught to be seen more than they learn to appreciate what they create.

It seems to me that one tear feels like a wave and one word sounds like a sword above one's head.

It seems to me evolution will never stop but how long will it take for us to be one and yell "I have changed".

Annelise Jan 2014

Haunted

I've had trouble sleeping lately because I think about you and what I imagine in dreams got me insanely confused.
Memories of the past but mostly moments, images of what we have and pieces of what I want.
Fantasies, desires that I can't achieve in real life because your heart is cut in half and I won't let you break mine.
Every night, I toss and turn like a lion in a cage, like your face is a curse and a gift all at once, a burning candle I can't touch if I want to stay alive.
And when my imagination gets rid of all the wax, when I'm too tired to have you back in mind, when the hours fly away from dusk till sunrise, I finally break free from your ghost but the shadows still secretly remaining show me once again that I'm already lost.