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Sep 2014 · 217
Lies and Love
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2014
Her words only hit the glass,
as they ricochet from off my boundary,
Useless trails are only errors to me,
try and try again,
but your actions are futile,
sickened from your arrogance,
maddened from your incompetence,
why must this red string bind us?
Fate beckons us together,
but I walk the length of the string,
keeping you at arm's length,
Don't announce your recent event,
you try over and over to replace me,
I'll never fill that gap,
the emptiness I left in you,
Lie and Love is all I can conjure,
love for a mother whom I see now and then,
Lies for someone special I can't bare to hurt.
Sep 2014 · 347
Cherry Blossom's Fate
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2014
The fluttering of the blossoms embrace the sky,
as they land on the newly green ground,
spring has came,
and along with it the cherry blossoms bloom,
A sweet but short romance they symbolize,
such a delicate scene,
they bloom but only last a little while,
such a sweet tragedy,
yet next spring they'll bloom again,
maybe we'll meet once again my true love,
fate will bring us together.
Sep 2014 · 294
Never Enough
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2014
I'll never be able to fulfill her needs,
her empty and lonesome life is the one dream I can't cease,
Don't expect me to come running back into your daydreams,
I can't satiate your needs.
You say you dream of love and family?
what about me?
a daughter who still visits you,
but thats not enough?
Don't expect that he'll love you forever,
they've all left you,
I pity you and love you,
but I'm forever gone,
you lost my trust and longing,
my life is a fairytale without you.
I love you,
I'll visit you,
but this is goodbye mom.
Aug 2014 · 216
Lost Angel
AnnaMarie Jenema Aug 2014
brilliant light dances on the pond's surface,
petals grace ripples that stride to it's farthest edges.
A blessed angel who had lost any hope of heaven.
how could she have came into being?
the daughter of demons,
mother locks herself away to a desperate and tainted world of tears,
finding only fake happiness,
brimming with lies and conceit.
Father shrivels in a small world of crimes,
and running away from that which he doesn't wish to face.
God himself had saved this child,
and brought to her two angels to protect her.
He gave her talents to dazzle the minds of those who met her,
gave her friends to treasure,
and a kind heart so she could love and be loved by all who met her.  
The tales of her parents had washed her face of it's smile,
their deeds wiped that happiness from her heart,
her loneliness cradled fears,
her tears created that pond,
Bitter winds slashed at her,
chilling her heart,
until one day.
harsh words didn't paralyze her anymore,
loneliness released it's grip,
she had made friends,
and decided to try her best to make more,
to smile,
to dream,
to achieve,
to be more than her demons could ever be.
Her path could lead her to many tears and sadness,
a happy ending isn't guaranteed,
but she'll face whatever comes her way,
and try her best,
to reach her happy ending.
Jul 2014 · 240
Novice of a Friend
AnnaMarie Jenema Jul 2014
When friendship seems to be in play, I'm no more than a novice,
I wish to understand them,
I wish to be part of them,
my glowing, shining friends,
Their kindness illuminates everything they entangle,
If only I knew what to do,
when I talk to them every possible subject alludes me,
nonsense of books I read or what I've done recently clatters from the abyss that seems to be my mouth,
I bore them with my unneeded knowledge,
When situations arise in their presence,
my only answer is to run away and escape to a place that I can be angry or cry without hurting anyone.
I'm too serious,
and can't make them laugh,
my wish is to be the reason they smile,
but all I seem to create is hurting agony,
and a failure of a friendship.
It's always been this way; and I've always been terrible when it comes to others.
AnnaMarie Jenema Jul 2014
That's all it ever was,
she hid them from us with all her might,
just the two of us,
but only one was only looking,
eyes that could only search her mind,
they were her precious light,

Stay close to me,
don't let her take you away,
I've searched throughout m y life,
hoping to find the two of you,
siblings who I only share one memory with,
a fun-filled amusement park day,
with a little curly red-haired baby girl,
and a starry-eyed kind and mischievous boy,
my hidden brother and sister,
who I've searched for but who have been kept from me,

maybe it's fate's way of helping a lonely person,
but now we secretly text and Facebook,
searching farther and farther for a way to meet,
those two children from my past,
They've always seemed to be a world away,
yet not even seas need crossing to find eacher,
no state's borders need intruding,
only cities away,
my heart cries out to end this game of hide and seek,
to finally be able to cry out,
"I found you!"
and envelope my two adorable siblings in a hug,
saying that we can be together,
without worrying that anyone will tear us apart,
because this game we're playing;
has came to it's end
Jun 2014 · 212
Dreamer of Futures Unseen
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2014
I've always found it odd,
that I could feel such a sensation,
For each night that a dream decides to slip into my room,
Whether it be a glorious dream of happy memories and moments to be,
or A dreadful fragment of the most darkest and dreariest times that allure tears and fright into such an unknown and unconscious time,
Even though the realization comes only after the dream,
Each one has a meaning,
almost never were they because of thoughts that crept in before I drift into the night,
but of times to come,
a warning or gentle tug at what will be,
My dreams tell me of unseen times that I shall either meet with a smile, tears, or shock.
They foretell the future,
yet I never see them coming until the time has passed.
such a mysterious world of wonders I enter as I  float into my wildest dreams.
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2014
I try to crumple them,
and tear them apart,
trying to quench the flame inside,
but do the sparks still light?
is there kindling some where deep in the abyss?
Hadn't i ridden them from this place?
I'll drown these feelings,
but you never allow that,
and drag me back to the surface,
They'll choke on the smoke,
but you fan the smoke away from me,
Yet you never give me an answer,
"do you Like me back? Or is this one-sided?"
You laugh and show me kindness,
only to yell at me later.
no matter how many letters I give you on last days of school,
You still reply with silence,
you hugged me,
danced with me,
make my heart beat with kind words,
yet, you'll never give me my answer,
tell me!
silence can't be an answer.
You always fall for the pretty girls,
who mostly turn out to be mean to everyone,
and break your fragile heart,
I want to mend it,
the more it breaks,
the more they steal your smile away from me,
The smile that is a sun of bright happiness,
I'm mad at them for that,
but you care about them,
so I'll never do anything,
expect wish for your gaze,
your words,
but not your feelings,
I guess these feelings still live,
after all the tears,
I'll hide them,
I'll plunge them into darkness,
and forget their existence,
Who are you?
oh, my past.
Good Bye, my unforgiving love,
I can't miss you,
I won't allow myself to.
Jun 2014 · 165
Glass Wall
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2014
I build a glass wall between us,
I know I should've used bricks,
but I couldn't stand to be blinded from your dark brown eyes,
and swaying black hair,
I fell too hard,
but had to give you up,
my heartbeats which quickened each time you spoke,
could never reach your fingertips as you passed through mine,
I numbed myself to you,
my resolution hit,
a bullet through my heart,
yet my friends kept me going,
we are awkward when we speak to each other,
but I thought I was over you at last,
one single look,
one single word,
and it's all melted again,
but you hate me,
and only fall for other girls,
I've only been a problem for you,
and got in your way,
I just can;t keep myself up,
I fall for you over and over again,
This glass wall,
is slowly cracking
Jun 2014 · 315
The strength of flowers
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2014
Such a small delicate being,
so easily does it wilt,
taking all of it's life,
and sipping it through it's intertwining roots,
once plucked,
it withers into a dark, shut off, decaying mass,
it's life is too easily finished,
Though small,
their voices are loud,
in the form of vivid scents,
spiraling sensations through passer-by's noses,
they take what nutrients are given,
and create a life for themselves,
A flower was given,
from a kind heart,
only to die within moments,
Her voice fades away,
as weeds tug at her throat,
not a word that can be heard anymore,
when uprooted,
give a flower sunlight water,
sing sweet words into her ears,
she'll grow,
stretching towards the sky,
but cut off her  roots,
and she'll never bloom again,
Such a strong flower,
but too easily cut off
Jun 2014 · 303
Selfish
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2014
I want too many things,
glittering, dazzling things,
that catch my eyes,
and makes me pause in awe,
I always used to say, and do still to this day,
"I want a mansion, I want beautiful dresses, to be treated like a princess, to have people like me, to have so many things that will rarely come."
Amusement park trips cost too much?
And it's selfish to ask for undeserved kindness from others,
"your so annoying, a nuisance, an accident, a problem."
I don't want to be in anyone's way,
so I'll fade into a shadow,
the one no one notices in the back of the room,
I'll watch others and make them happy from what I can do,
I don't want to be a selfish brat,
I don't matter anyway.
All I can do is make others happy,
when ever I do something for myself,
I become the villain in their life,
but all I want is to make both of us happy; me and them.
Jun 2014 · 327
change
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2014
I used to stare at the clock,
a sad frown uncurled from the edges of my mouth,
I would fake happiness,
but when it would be true,
it was fleeting,
My friends disappear day by day,
'no one cares'
and 'I'm sorry'
were constant in my mind,
I hated myself,
and thought that I deserve nothing special,
and I have days were that pit of loneliness remains,
Of course it will never disappear,
they hurt me,
they're words are still smeared onto my heart,
the voices echoing through my mind,
Then why did I change?
I have people rooting for me now,
I found someone who understands me,
and wants me to smile when the past looms like a tower above me,
When I huddle in my corner to cower,
my friends lift me to my feet.
I finally found what I was searching for,
and change is helping me to smile again.
May 2014 · 1.0k
Cuddly Teddy
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
To the teddy that always guards my dreams:
You quietly sit there,
not a word to be said,
In my room you preside,
your ears always listening,
you never whine, or complain,
judgements don't fall very easily,
from your stitched mouth,
I cry and complain a lot,
most of what you hear is sad,
I'm sorry for giving you,
only frightening memories,
My tears sometimes,
drain down my red face,
to be absorbed into your fur,
Only you know my heart,
and understand my every motion,
whether I tell you my hopes and dreams,
or not,
you already know them,
I hug you often,
you being my closest friend,
none understand me,
but you were the first.
You keep all my secrets locked up,
inside your round self,
my protector and guardian,
Even though it's hard for you to give me advice,
I still treasure every moment you give to me,
my precious little bedside knight.
May 2014 · 240
Monster
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
I'm a hurtful person,
abusing those I love,
buried deep under hurt,
sits a broken heart,
the pain of the past,
roaring it's anger,
moves my arm to hit,
my sister's eyes enlarge,
brimmed full with fear,
all the hurt i felt,
now energy pointed toward her face,
you don't belong,
ugly girl,
you'll never be enough,
you weren't wanted,
an accident,
the monster they created.
Pain arouses from the broken heart
May 2014 · 322
Fading
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
Everyone disappears,
They leave me all alone,
She faded underneath the wooden toy boat,
dragged under by the fury of rampaging little boys,
I searched and searched,
but never again found her,
Than a new friend finally came along,
but because of me she faded away into a new group of friends,
forever disappearing from my sight,
I cower in the corner of loneliness,
walking the path of the ignored and forgotten,
A new group of friends soon faded into black,
once i found out their true schemes,
My first crush disappeared because of distance,
as a stranger whose name and location hasn't been noted,
My first mom faded after she realized she never wanted me,
My dad disappeared after knowing his mistake by creating me,
A monster my family made,
Who watches as everyone fades during the sunset,
My sister swears she'll disappear on her 15th  birthday,
all because of hatred I deserved,
in the summer of fifth grade I met a girl who intrigued me,
after we had became best friends,
she never wanted much to do with me,
and I was tagged as a back-up friend,
we knew a lot about each other,
and she was the truest friend I've ever had,
she moved to a different school,
disappearing on me like everyone,
only to come back a year later,
but in my mind she's the ghost of some one I miss,
and no longer who I knew,
but a newer version.
Even in a crowd,
I am a lonely person,
who misses many,
and can talk to few,
Everyone will just disappear,
fading away,
day after day
May 2014 · 249
Sorry
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
That is my catch phrase,
I'm sorry for never realizing,
I'm sorry for the pain I caused,
that everything happened wrongly,
that i'll never understand,

I've said it so many times,
my chin pointed towards the floor,
my eyes shadowed by sorrow and regret,

I'm sorry I'll never be enough,
I'm sorry I made you cry,
that I caused your smile to fade,
sorry for the things I've said,

I hurt you and others,
relentlessly,
mercilessly,
and unknowingly
stabbing them,

you see,
Im sorry for everyone i meet,
because I'll only cause them trouble.
May 2014 · 326
Which Do you prefer?
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
Which do you prefer?
Sour or sweet?
Sweet of course,
It reminds me of kind words,
that I wish would've been spoken,
of every time i was helped,
the sweetness in their hearts,
Which do you prefer?
blue or pink?
though it's called boyish,
blue is my adored color,
It sits in the sky watching,
observing,
the day pass by,
It's a solitary color,
but has the smallest hint of a smile,
Even so,
it's such a lonely color.
Pink is happy and kind,
it sings from above,
easily talking to other colors,
I admire it,
but could never care for such a color.
Which do you prefer?
Sunrises or sunsets?
sunsets are my choice,
they end the day,
as every thing will eventually come to it's own end,
It sits on the hill,
a beautiful lonely sight,
it waves goodbye to everyone as they go about their life,
Sunrises are happy, hyper colors,
that pierce the night with a call,
waking up friends and neighbors,
so that they may see the sun,
such a talkative and friendly sight,
I admire, but can't care for.
So now I ask you;
Which do you prefer?
May 2014 · 781
Dont deserve
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
I don't deserve happiness,
I don't deserve love,
I never wanted sorrow,
Nor have I wished to be lonely.

I had wishes and dreams,
some were deep enough to still survive,
"I want to be a prima ballerina, and make everyone smile"
"I want others to love my art"
"I want to be a mermaid and swim all day"
"I want to be a voice actress"
I wanted so much,
promised so much,
but it all fell away,
Logic over took dreaming,
and reality woke me up.

I wish to fall asleep,
and dream again,
but I don't expect much,
Money gets in the way,
but I used to ignore that.

I would teach myself the ropes,
and amaze others with what I know,
first
second
third
fourth
fifth
position
I taught myself them all,
through libraries and books.

On days when i grew bored,
I would draw until I got better,
eventually they called me an artist,
but I'm no good at all.

I dont diserve these talents,
If they'll never get used.
who's to say I'm even good,
If everyone is better than me.

I wasn't meant to be here,
never wanted,
only tolerated,
a problem for everyone,
who only deserves to disappear.

maybe then I will make everyone smile,
but I wont go down without a fight,
but I want to be their angel,
The reason for their smile.
May 2014 · 299
Only Five Years Old
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
I was Only five years old,
The world wasn't a fun place to play,
I wouldn't run  around,
I refused to smile,
Adults were harsh,
but children were worse,
I was more grown up than those around me,
I was sad,
lonely,
hated,
broken,
My smile was crooked,
my eyes were full of tears,
My stuffed animals were my only friends,
and my class,
the enemies,
I sat alone,
talked to no one,
There stares penetrated my heart,
their laughs were sharp and pointed,
arrows ready to fire,
I was told I was an unwanted burden,
a child without a future,
a nuisance,
I
knew
every
one
would
disappear,
especially me,
A terrified girl by age five.
May 2014 · 658
Shy Me
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
Im a shy person,
I walk in the hallway with my head down,
and my face turns bright red with a single word,
I always wish I could say Hi to those around me,
but my voice whispers in silent panic,
I admire those who easily talk,
and know exactly what to say,
My friends call it cute,
I call it problematic,
At home I could imagine up any nonsense,
and talk until my mouth grew weary,
I can be the most opinionated girl you've ever met,
or the quietest mouse that causes curiosity to prickle at your mind
May 2014 · 220
Gifts That Show
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
She always gave a gift to me on my birthday,
Something childish to a teen,
a girl more than a baby,
would get only a childish object,
What I most wanted,
was forbidden to ask for,
Finally she gave me gifts to match my age,
but they were stacked in the corner,
what is the point of a gift from who I care about,
If they will never give me time,
A friend knows what I like,
They make-up to me with candy and treats,
but never has the time to give,
their most precious gift of all,
I had a lot of time,
to be spent all alone,
all I needed most,
was someone to give me theres
May 2014 · 739
A maddening act
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
They decided to join a circus,
and such a maddening circus it was,
people of all kinds joined the act,
the clowns who only want to laugh at her
and they show her how to dress like a true fool,
The diva who shown two faces;
one was kind and a true friend,
the other,
was a popular who was too good to be seen with her,
Such a maddening circus,
that could make any one go insane,
The ringmaster gives a smile that latches over half his face,
as he looks down at his puppets,
strings forced her to play his game,
The lion-tamer who forced her to jump through his hoops,
laughed as he always got his way,
A magician girl ran into a wooden ship,
only to disappear from sight,
such a maddening act,
that left her to fall onto her knees,
her first friend gone within a single day,
A fight roared from one of the ring's
She fought a mighty Tiger,
who always swiped at her,
the claw marks she held,
only helped the insanity seep farther,
Such a distorted circus,
Now the ringmaster turned to the audience,
but not a single member is found,
It appears the girl has went insane
from such a maddening performance;
a performance called life
May 2014 · 397
Little Girl Who Hurts
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
All she can do* is hurt those she cares about,
that day she was the one who made her cry,
flinging her to the cold  harsh ground,
that was me
It's my fault
I wasn't angry
I wasn't sad
She was
innocent
and I was
a monster
Her blurred eyes finally clear, only to seep in their tears,
Everyone cries because of her,
If only she could disappear,
Those little boys on the playground,
they sculpted fear in her heart,
A lonely girl,
who doesn't deserve nor expects happiness,
Everyone calls her perfect,
they say she's a role student for others,
but in truth she's just afraid to disappoint them once again,
a solitary girl who's only conversations seem harsh,
because she's socially awkward,
She's shy and scared of others,
because all she wanted was someone to understand her,
Told by her mama that she wasn't wanted,
adopted into a loving, but confusing family,
She hides behind books,
because she's afraid that she'll hurt others
But in the end all she is,
is a **Little Girl Who Hurts
May 2014 · 3.9k
Out of a Fairy Tale
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
Mom should’ve been here by now. I sat on my frilly blue and purple polka-dotted bed waiting for the knock on the door telling me mom found my dress. Finally, it raps on my door. “Mom! Did you find it?” My eyes widen as the silky blue sways in her arms, it’s beauty sings as a caged bird let free. I gasp in admiration. “I-It’s wonderful!” I pick it up and it glides down into a perfect fit.  “I’m glad you love it. Come down after you finish getting ready.” The door thuds after her. Looking across the room I note my honey brown hair that curls into pigtails. Restraining the squeal that is caught in my throat, I travel the length of my room to the mirror.

     The mirror sits on an antique dresser that my mom found at a garage sale. At first I didn’t care much for the ancient wooden junk that is at least half a century old. Now the gold-tinted metal gleams with pride once again. Rusty gems were in carved into an arc surrounding the mystic glass. “Lydia! Can you go upstairs and get that box down for me?” Mom’s request interfered with my thoughts. … Go in that dusty attic? “Sure mom!”

       Out the door and into the hallway stood a door like any other in our house. It squeaked open as eerily as what you’d expect in a haunted house. ‘A box, a box’ than out of the side of my vision I thought I saw motion. I shook it off as just being a spider or mouse. Soon my footsteps lead me to come across a dresser and mirror identical to the one in my room. It was cluttered with cobwebs and spiders. “Not very well taken care of, are you?” I muttered the joke. I looked into the mirror expecting to see a light blue dress covered in dust and sparkly silk material, but there was no reflection at all. I looked even closer at the mirror, before realizing, there was no mirror at all.

     I looked around until I found it behind the dresser, sitting on the ground. I touched one of the gems that surprisingly glowed despite the rust. Something shone until I was blinded. A tingle ran through the hand that brushed the mirror’s gem and flew through my arm until it encompassed me, racing into my every feeling until I couldn’t feel anything. My eyes shut and refused to open themselves.


     A gentle breeze grasped my hair, as music descended from the air. I could smell what seemed to be a banquet of some kind, mixed with perfume. Slowly my eyes lifted their veil to lock with waves pounding against a brick wall. I was looking down from a balcony into the erupting sea. The white brick-made balcony was large and lonely even with the brush of people walking by. I hid behind the rose-red curtains to look around. People danced and talked. Some ate. The music paved the trail for their feet to follow, all very gracefully. The men wore suits that tails drip to their knees. Their white shirts buried under sashes of gold, red, or blue. Sometimes holding medallions, some only dressed in ties. The woman wore Victorian dresses of every color and shade. Frilled hats with flowers were arranged on their heads.

     Wait, I’m not supposed to be here. I was in the attic, going to the café with mom. What was I doing? My head ached from the effort to recall my actions. Why can’t I remember? I stumble backward only to reach the balcony’s edge. Where is this anyway?

      I dive back into the curtain to search for my answer. The softness of the curtain was a rose pushed to my nose. I peeked through the small gap to find a page carting some clothes past my hiding spot. I sneaked next to the cart being wheeled into a doorway, planning to find a way out. I lost the page and walked around until I went through an archway door. The cool air spiraled against my silk-trapped skin. The scent of flowers bloomed around me. I found the garden labyrinth.

     Walking through the maze’s hedges I arrive at a beautiful fountain displaying crystal clear pouring waters. Everywhere I gazed, flowers embraced the greenery. My breath deprived my lungs of air as I took in the sight. It was so magnificent under the light of the full moon. A few lamps lighted a sidewalk path maneuvering along the hedges. I circled the fountain, taking in the surroundings. My silk dress was shining in the dim glow. The sceneries beauty entranced me.






     I didn’t see a shadow before me, and almost fell to the ground. In a graceful swoop an arm latched around my waist to pull me to my feet. “Be careful to look where you’re going, please my lady.” He bowed his head while his slim rimmed glasses started to fall off of his face, suddenly he looked up at me; sliding them back on with a slight wave of a finger. “That garb isn’t from around here.” He noted my sky blue dress with interest. I’m not even sure where I am. “I seem a bit lost. Will you help me?” he stares at me closer, a deeper curiosity shines in his green eyes, daintily brushed by his dark hair. “My dear, if it brings you comfort to know, we are in London at the Buckingham palace.”

      I gasped; London was so far away from New York. It’s across seas. I gulped at my next question as sweat pricked the nape of my neck, “What’s todays date?” His eyes sparkled at the question. “Why, it is June 28, of 1838. The entire castle is bustling at these very words. It’s a day to remember. Now my dear, I must take my leave and see to the ballroom. Farewell.” He bowed, than turned to leave. His slow stride seemed like a dance all on it’s own. My gaze was caught on his figure following the foot trail until he had disappeared. I sighed at my first encounter with someone in this grand place. The Buckingham Palace, in 1838. …1838!! That can’t be right, it’s 2014. Then the shock hit me as if bricks fell from the castle onto my forehead; the clothes, the language, the pages, and royalty. This couldn’t be London in present Great Britain.

    I circle the garden once more before I decide to go back inside. The young noble had realized my clothes didn’t belong here, probably anyone who sees me would recognize this too. I start off towards the footpath. The melodic rhythm still swirled in the breeze. Than for a second I thought I heard a footstep. My head twists back only to see a shadow move. The cool air now seems icy. Multiple possible things to say to the night air gallop through my mind. “ Such a lovely night,” is the one I decide on. From behind me a few feet back I imagine a sigh. No, not imagined, but actually there. It’s too real. I turn on my heels just to catch a glimpse of a black cape caught in the wind, as it’s master floats into the open. “My, It is lovely. However, I didn’t realize such a strangely dressed commoner as you could enter this palace.” His smirk shows sarcasm as easily as his eyes. “I never intended to visit a palace, even less in London.” My honest answer only has him conceal his laugh.




     “I’m sure you didn’t. Yet, your dressed for a fine occasion.” His hand reaches for mine. I pull away from the willowy figured glove. “Why not allow me this dance in the garden?” I back away, aware that his voice is too prescient and I should be careful. “Are you going to be wary of me?” his gaze turned pained, his blue eyes that were once full of playfulness now melted into hurt. I unintentionally reach out for his gloved hand. His laugh echoes past the foliage. “Such a naïve girl.” Dread decided that this nobleman should be avoided at all costs. I ran towards the palace. “And so the chase begins.” He snickers and rushes after me.


     I pass through the archways, glancing back now and again to find the caped captor flying along my tracks. If only there was some way to lose him. I ducked into the nearest doorway. At the far end of the hall I could see a door with a sign saying, “Dressing room”. I flung myself under a table and tablecloth to hide myself as my pursuer rounded the corner into the hall. I tucked my head between my knees and waited for his footsteps to fade. The warm place that held me trapped was close and too easily discoverable. I held my breath and tried to sink into the darkness. I’m not here. No one can find me.

     After enough time flew by to ensure my safety, I crawled out from under the table. The cloth draped over my head. I looked back and forth, half expecting to see a smirking smile, and haughty eyes. A girl stares down at me. She’s at least ten years old. “Shhh.” I press my finger to my lips and gently smile at her as if we’re keeping a secret between us. She giggles, copies the motion to her own mouth, than delightfully skips away. I let out a sigh and stand up. I follow the hall to the dressing room. The door creaks open and I look around once more, startled by the sudden noise.

     I sneak inside hoping find that the room is abandoned. In the darkly lit room, only my footsteps sound. As far as I can tell, no one has entered lately. I walk over to the carts of clothes and run my hand over the first one on the stack. It’s a ruby-red dress with fine material and some gems similar to those in the mirror. … The mirror. Not in my room, but the attic. My head hurts again, but I know I touched its gem before winding up here. How? I look through the dresses until I find a light blue and white one. The bowed sleeves come down to my elbow with frills encasing the bottom. The neckline forms a squared area of similar white frills. A small white sash acts as a belt that drops into the skirt of the dress. Two similar white ones come down each side. I pick up the light material and set it near my feet.
      My old silk dress easily slips overhead, making way for the new clothing. After tugging tight sleeves and bodices into place the light dress swoops over my feet. I spin through the dark room only to stop at catching someone’s eye. I immediately turn towards the frozen face. It is my own reflection in a mirror. I face myself as my sight settles on the dress I wear. My honey brown hair curled over the dress from my pigtails. My eyes sparkled it’s matching blue to the dress. In the corner of the room, next to the mirror, sat a large wooden box. I looked through it to find that it was full of jewelry and accessories. I prodded its contents until I found sky blue bows to wrap in my pigtails.

     I walked into the open hallway, now littered with people going to and fro. Anyone from passerby’s, young nobility, servants, and pages. Once the hall emptied I fled the room, hurrying through the corridors until I met with the room that created the harmonious trance. At the ends of the great ballroom sat crowds eating and laughing. Clusters of on-goers danced and chatted. In the middle of the farthest side of the room sat a throne that was embroidered with metal marks from centuries of legends. On the throne sat a woman at least eighteen of age. Her regal crown shone despite other attractions surrounding the dance room. A page strode over to her as she flourished her hand for his service. He stood and listened intently to her whispers. Finally, he stood and roared for the room’s attention. From his mouth spilled cheer and wistfulness, as he demanded the crowd’s ear. “Our young Queen Victoria’s coronation has completed. Now starts a new era! Let the celebration proceed.” The room reverberated with hope, love, and admiration for their new ruler.

     ‘Queen Victoria has been crowned’ having no clue how to find a way home, I disconsolately decide to join in the festivities. The crowd moves into a larger room. I stagger after them; the mass pushing everyone forward. We pass the kitchens. The aroma of cakes and deserts of every kind rises into the cool night air. The only smell more perceptible than delicate delights is the perfume penetrating the entire castle. We enter a by far more spacious ballroom. Empty amphitheater seats loom overhead, tied into the walls for onlookers to watch the ball unravel. Once again I glance at these to notice black material hangs over the edge. A head moves as people fill the seats. A nobleman with a black cape and familiar blue eyes takes their seat next to men and woman of high status. I walk into the mop to hide myself, while watching him. He laughs and chats with them as if he’s known them all his life.


      Unable to watch where I’m going, I trip. The harsh, solid ground hits my knee as if I’ve met a tornado. I wince at the pain as I strain myself to stand. A firm, but careful hand grabs mine. I look up into green eyes shaded by recognizable glasses. “My dear, you are very clumsy.” He smiles at me as I pat my dress back into place. “I see we’ve met again.” My response comes weakly as the sore from my knee makes me flinch. “I don’t think you’ve told me your name.” I inquire. “You have not requested my name, so I haven’t told it. However, if you do me the honor of a dance, my secret may be leaked.”  He bowed and offered me his arm, as I timidly accept it.

     A new song disrupts the last, as new pairs take the stage. He walks me onto the floor, and diligently starts to dance. I watch my feet, not wanting to mistake my pace. “Lift your chin, my dear. You don’t seem to but much of a church-bell.” I looked up at him puzzled. “Church-bell?” As he tried to conceal a grin, his glasses couldn’t suppress the laughter in his eyes. “Your rather quiet. And most likely not from around London, are you?” I looked to the ground once more. Should I tell him or not? Will it start problems, or will I be okay? “It’s fine, I shall not expect you to answer a question you wish not to.” I looked up at him, solemnly. “I promised to introduce myself, correct?” I nodded, as the music that echoed around us faded into the next song.

      His movements were so fluid; he was a wave at the end of the day, flowing into the sunset. “Miss, I am known by most as William Anderson. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He procured my sweaty palm into his, tenderly swiping his mouth to my fingers. I let my hand be brought back into the dance as I searched for words to speak. Once the dance ended a few moments later, I curtsey and murmur, “It’s nice to meet you. I am Lydia Olsen.” At my gesture he bows, and requests once more, “Am I trustworthy enough to understand why you are in a mysterious place you don’t understand?” My answer had been decided and started to splatter from my mouth. “Y…”









     The next sound bounces along the room, it’s symphony starting. My words mix into the noise. In my vision of the seats above, snowy dots shoot arrows in my direction. Blue eyes gaze down at me, their iciness piercing me as icicles prickle my skin. I exchange a glance with William, nod and answer, “You are. I’ll explain.” My discomfort is surely recognizable. I often peek over my shoulder above as we dance. The shadow with a glare starts his voyage through the seats to reach the stairs that pillar into the wall. He descends from the tower, only adding to my panic. My hand seizes Williams, as I give him an apologetic smile. We hurry from the room, stumbling over each other’s feet. His graceful prance, now a faltering wreak.

     Once we are outside the ballroom, I turn towards him. “I trust you, so please understand, I live In the USA in 2014. Not London, not Even in the 1800’s.” His expression is masked, but I’m sure that I’ve confused him. “I went back into time, from the future.” The simple words struck a chord with him, his glasses tilted off his nose as he listens intently. “The future? How?” even I don’t know how to answer such questions. “I’m not sure. I was in the attic with a mirror, than … ****! I’m here.” Confusion once again wonders onto his face. “I went into a storage room with old things, and found a mirror, touched a gem, now I was here.”

     “I see, but why did we run away from the celebration? I was looking forward to another dance with you.” His casual smile does nothing to conceal unasked questions. I’m not sure how to answer them ei
Apr 2014 · 400
Useless & Protected
AnnaMarie Jenema Apr 2014
All my life I've been protected,
I could've turned out to be my mom or my dad,
yet adoption saved me from their darkness,
I want to repay those who are my friends,
but thank-you's will never be enough,
I want to help who ever I can,
however, all I seem to be is useless,
mistakes are all I accomplish,
I can't do anything right,
My little sibling cries because of me,
and all I can manage when I want to help, is to hurt,
I'm a useless doll without her pretty face,
I want to bring smiles to those I adore,
yet all I can seem to give is tears.
Everyone tries to make me smile, to cheer me up,
all I do is bother them,
but they want to protect my feelings,
no matter how many times I effortlessly stab them,
they always put me first and wipe away my tears,
wether there's tears dotting their cheeks,
I'm useless and protected,
but I want to be useful, and protect those I love.
Apr 2014 · 366
Frozen Heart
AnnaMarie Jenema Apr 2014
If some one died,
I wouldn't shed a tear,
does that make me dry ice?
If I am angry,
It still won't reach me,
but those who my anger captured still got hurt,
If I cry,
I still feel no pain,
are my tears fake,
If I am with friends, if I do something I love, If I go some where fun,
I feel no joy,
does that make me numb?
Can I even feel anything, If my heart is past frostbite?
What storm even occurred?
What happened to me,
as the years went past,
to turn such a happy kid, into this icicle?
Has my heart even froze?
Apr 2014 · 326
Shadowed
AnnaMarie Jenema Apr 2014
did I cast a shadow in her way?
Because I try my best,
and love what I do,
did she start to believe that she'll never be good enough?
I love her more than myself,
yet I've caused her pain.
My dearest sister I placed a shadow on,
My grades,
talents,
dreams,
everything I hold dear is in her path,
They tower over her,
a cliff at low tide,
the waters crashing below as she looks down into the swarming seas,
I placed her here,
and plead for her not to lose her footing,
I've hurt her in more ways than one,
my dearest princess,
If I could take it all away,
I would.
Mar 2014 · 515
Pandora's Key
AnnaMarie Jenema Mar 2014
This metal tool that’s rarely seen can unlock so many objects. A clinking chain, able to unlock all of the barricaded locks that surround them, chains connected to people’s hearts. This special key unlocks their every feeling. The keys shining magic opens doorways you’d never see, but that affects you all the time. The key of love unlocks joy and happiness but can also open the lock to sadness and agony. The key of pain, which can open suffering, but can also open the path of kindness. The key of anger that can be caring or jealous exists in people’s hearts. The key of hurt that was caused to open from events that sends layers flying over their hearts to hide their self value. These keys are feelings that were trapped in Pandora’s box and when released can allow people to grow and change.  The one task that was forbidden opened the way for human’s hearts to grow and learn, to care, and share empathy.
Mar 2014 · 219
The mirror's trap
AnnaMarie Jenema Mar 2014
gazing into the icy glass,
my eyes entranced by it's appearance,
only to gasp at the other me,
mercilessly smiling an alluring crinkled face,
My twin stuck in the past that I stare at,
In the halls there is everyone,  and no one,
I go unnoticed,
I make no difference,
I stare into that mirror as I walk through my daily life,
she criticizes my every motion,
my every word,
my voice is a faint whisper in all the static,
Laughing,
gossiping,
shouting,
it surrounds me, hiding me from a world I've never known,
their world of the light,
I've never entered those glistening gates,
but instead cowered in my corner,
hiding myself from them,
I try to be noticed, not wanting to disappear,
I wave good morning: a voice replies each time,
"maybe I'm not invisible"
as my hearts wonders this,
the mirror replies with so many answers,
I get stuck in it's trap,
the trap of my past:
"your never good enough,
look at yourself,
They always leave,
everyone will just disappear,
just become invisible again,
no one will ever notice,
you shouldn't have spoken"
My nagging mirror has me in it's grasp again,
and I've been trapped ever since I could remember.

— The End —