Your breath quickens
Your heart skips a beat
Your head feels dizzy
Your eyes can’t focus
You feel as though the world is suddenly on standby to wait,

Wait
Wait for you to take that deep breath.

The breath that will help cleanse the shock
The shock that freezes your body in order for it to pass
The shock that has your heart pounding loud
And your breath hitching and stopping
It is when the reality of it all finally crashes on your shoulders that you cry

Cry
Cry your eyes out because the unexpected has happened

Cry because it is the only thing you know to do
Cry out the fears
Cry out the hurt
Cry out the pain
Cry to start cleansing your soul
Cry because it’s easier than questioning God
It is after you feel weak that you start to ask for the reasons

Reasons
Reasons that are so far out of reach that you can only hit your knees

Reasons you don’t want to hear
You just want to know why?
Why he was taken
Why now
Why when you were so far away
Why when he was to be there when you got home
Why when all he deserved was to survive

Survive
Survive the toughest times even though you feel defeated

Survive because it’s the only thing you can do
Survive because God has a reason for the pain
Survive because even though it punches your heart now, it will one day sooth
Survive because he would have wanted you to
Survive because his love begs you to, just as your love begged him to come back

Love
Love is the way to remember

Love is what helped us to become one
Love is what helped us to connect
Love is the fact that we spoke to each other without words
Love is the bond we had even after I was away for so long
Love is what you hold in your heart after they have left
Love is to be shared so that we both may live

Life
Life is what you showed me how to live

Life is what you showed me when you ran in the fields
Life is what God gave both of us
Life is what anyone could see in your eyes
Life was circulating through you with every beat of your heart
Life is what will be hard without you for a little while
Life was lived by you until you were broken free

Freedom
Freedom was when you broke away for the first time

Freedom was what God granted you a little too soon
Freedom is what you showed me was never to be taken for granted
Freedom will always be remembered by the wind in my hair
Now you are free and one day I will join you where we can be free together

Goodbye
Goodbye for now but not forever

Goodbye my sweet boy with the sweet eyes
Goodbye my friend who listened to my crazy rants
Goodbye my sweet boy who was nothing but a treasure
Goodbye to the greatest friend I could have asked for a short chapter in my life
Never will you run free in the fields
But you are now running free in the clouds
You are now just dirt beneath where your hoofs used to dance
But you will forever and always be in my heart to stay so that I may remember

Do you feel my tears when I cry?

Do you wonder what I'm doing while you lie awake?
I am here
Lying awake, waiting for you

Waiting for you to wipe my tears and whisper in my ear.
Whisper, "it's going to be okay"

Why it's taking so long for you to find me,
I do not know, only God knows when we meet

I pray
Pray that it will be one day soon

I need you.

Will you always know when I need you?

Will you be my strength when I am weak?
I hope so
I hope we are each other's strength

I am weak now,
Lying here awake while I cry  

Please don't let me cry my last tear without you there to wipe it away

God knows when we are going to find each other
I pray that it's one day soon

I need you...