I am a beast pacing in the night, desperately searching how to breathe. I scream at my windows, at the shadows on the rooftop. My eyes are bleeding tears of unending despair. The shadows in this room have shifted. My unworthy soul is aching so violently for you, for your sweet tenderness. Your distant voice destroys me in the midnight chill. You live deep behind my restless eyes. I write these words only to feel your nearness.

clarity as blood
thick and free
consuming veins
erupting
single muse
through forceful love
failed intimacy
prevailing
your spirit
remaining
clear and strong
death visits this bed
in solitude
-

Defensive bile rises thick with unexplainable bruises. Shadows swoop and peck at a façade she thought was shaken. Cowering with fear and arrogance she reaches for wasted wisdom - instead erupts with starvation. Dignity drains silently from her wounds. Shame kissed you in the morning, always in acute darkness. See her now writhing and scratching at your door. I hope she was your sweetest ****.

A love, faintly remembered, is rekindled below my weary spirit. Your acute absence has made this cliché stronger. My forbidding heart warms in the moment I smell the flame. I lose all restraint against your mysterious effect as passion overrides my shivering fear. I pull you to me desperately with a newfound innocence. I open myself over the flame with a surety never before known. You kneel intimately at my feet, removing the last of me with such a patient gentleness. My heart truly breaks at the sight of your exposed vulnerability. You light up my fair skin with your poetic hands. Tenderness, how I had forgotten your true beauty. Breathing my name into my naked shoulder, you make love to me. In response, I raise my ready body to meet yours, realizing I am lost. I cling to you, shaking, as our passion consumes all that is comprehensible. In the fading darkness, tears spill from my eyes as you stroke my neck into a false affection. I ache to have you as my own, lying with no other. The desire dies in my heaving chest as I escape this beauty once more.

I wish to lie at your feet,
rest my head against
fleeting footprints.
I wish to touch your scars.
Look into my weeping eyes,
accept my love as true.
My bones are shaking.
My soul is burning
to follow the soft current
of your heart.
-

Rain breaks with the dawn as we lounge against aching bricks. I clutch at my watery coffee with chipped fingernails. The rain escapes through my disheveled hair, clinging to my wrinkled shirt. The sheer fabric pins against my naked skin. I blush lightly as your eyes sweep across my freckled shoulders. The curling smoke of your cigarette floats into the lazy shower. Droplets cling to the smooth hair on your arms, slowly trickling between the hands that held me through infinite darkness.

I am mourning
next to you.
Between us
darkness lies
impossibly thick.
Desperate loneliness
tormenting through
these past days.
I am mourning
next to you.
I am mourning
innocent beginnings.
I close my eyes
to touch you
when you lay
so close.
Stabs of humiliation
rejection ride through.  
I’m counting
seconds now.
-

Your love greets me as the first rain after this terrible winter. A time where I thought normalcy was a dreadful madness, stealing my soul. You have nurtured the beast into an irrepressible passion. Our love has ruined my heart with its unadulterated beauty. I wish to align my life with yours in these moments of acute darkness. These are the simple truths we live synonymously.

A string within my spine has been cut. I lie paralyzed with grief. My shortness of breath is the only thing that is real. I cannot breathe. My lips are dry with thirst. Tears have cut a path into my skin, the only truth that remains. A dreadful madness has stolen my soul. My fibers are writhing as I curl at your feet. I’ve awakened to loneliness. Loneliness so deep and strong I am drowning beneath it. I cry out, sure that death is here to finally be merciful.

Even now when I fear the anxiety of our hearts
still somehow beating as one,
your words breathe hope.
My love, I am pleading with the heavens
to preserve our love
I don’t understand clearness that is deceit
My pleas are reaching through the streets
through the autumn shadows
for your comfort
Our innocent beginning has failed us
Blind whispers forgotten with recklessness
-

quiet nights
like these I stand
amid the breeze
and wonder
i remember you
in walking
i could weep
but I’m afraid
my stomach is
turning
for your voice
deep and bright
true, my strength
-

Body hold me.
Move me.
Stand with spirit
burning bright.
Lift my head from the earth.
A sculpture of tears.
A running child, arms reaching.
-

Her mouth once opened upon command. Condescending arrogance relentlessly destroyed her fragility. Deceitful desire replaced her thought’s reality. She stooped to deplorable depths to fill her inadequacy. Your glassy gaze stared through her to another’s face. You tore and ruined every inch of her body. When you snuck out the door, waves of disgust shivered through her skin. Wounds left as marks, forever a reminder of her regret.

I cannot see the rain as it pours from the clouds incessantly. It coats these struggling streets reaching for seasonal relief. Let the sun starve no longer. Puddles spread defiantly through cracks and collections of garbage. The traffic melts as people stare from the corners. I have experienced these places pressed to the glass. I will despair if this sun retreats.

single muse resonating
piercing through these nights
wounds exposed
take my soul
deliver it to his doorstep
let it feel his solitary peace.
cut the skin off this wretched body
tear it into shreds
leave bones to burn
screaming silently
open mouthed
for mercy
the only reprieve
and beauty
-

In the silent hour before dawn, you lie here with me. I turn between the sheets and you are there, looking into my eyes with no fear. Our naked legs intertwine and I am home. You pour love into my waking spirit. I whisper to you and clutch at your hand pleading as I wake from the dream. I search desperately for your skin, your pure scent.  Only your weeping shadow swallows me.

I clutch at your ankles as you drag me along. I search through the dust kicked up by your feet. My body spreads into the cracks of the floor. I shiver, pressed to the glass, as I cannot pass beyond. There is no warmth in the wind pushing between our bodies. I stand with arms heavy, skin flaking away. An echo builds in my soul, monumental and real, a temple to solitude.

Speak to me.
There must be truth
hidden amid the dust.
Its scent rises through
the window to my fingertips
resting on the edge.
My heart speaks truth.
It offers patience
in solitude.
My veins smile with
happiness.
-

Gentle admiration abruptly shifts to perfect hatred. She is ruthlessly seized in a failed attempt at escape. Beseeching cries are stifled by brutal masculinity. The instinct to survive pushes through her fainting mind as she suffocates in despair. She desperately fights for her last piece of dignity, pleading to be freed. A hand raised with no question conquers. She is forcefully silenced from all sane thought. In a terrifying light she is destroyed, unprotected from torture. Stained by her own black tears and throbbing bruises she is violently wrenched about in the bitter darkness. Her naïve body is overcome by rage, abused until broken. Her merciless punishment, inexorable. She is finally heaved away with disgust, disposed into a beastly heap. A woman soiled for all others. She lays curled, motionless, losing the hours; pain relentlessly piercing through filthy wounds. Wide eyes unblinking, she stares into the shadows, shocked into fear. Her passion has been stolen by a nauseous sorrow. She begins to shiver uncontrollably into a numbing shame.

I will hold
my truth dear.
As it will surely
break me.
There is simplicity
here.
In this truth.
-

Be still.
Watch the heavens sway.
Feel the ardor in their grasp.
Feel the skin beat against your heart.
Feel the breath in your tears.
Watch the shadows quake.
-

A river flows naked,
with the estranged intimacy
of hallucinations.
Echoes awaken to consume
this weight of desire.
Beloved, breathe deeply
amid these ruins.
-

Arms swing heavy,
like a carcass in the wind.
Sweat beads between fingers
dripping through ash.
Colors saturate and burn.
Return to your prison.
Pushing through the veil,
inhaling its poison.
Scraping its grit between bones.
Arms swinging heavy.
-

Blood weeps,
polluted against flesh.
Evil smiles stifle relief,
beating their fists,
smiling with green teeth.
Her bones lie empty.
-

you stood there
devoted lover
in that shadow
tempting out fear
escaping truth
clutching for peace
finding reality
between glances
nurturing faith
my heart has followed
your vacant hands
-