"Love me baby, love me."
Oh that's it!
A little to the right.
Oh you've got it!

******* I wish you didn't put the chocolate so ******* high.
Sometimes a girl needs her sweets, you know?
Never mind my expanding waistline.
I have no one to impress, right baby?
Wow I'm so glad I have someone as big and strong as you to reach these things off the high shelves.

Now finish up so I can put some clothes on. I've got errands to run.

With days of solitude I score my skin,
Each tiny mark like a record of my days.
Condemned to an eternity in solitary confinement,
I tug on the clamp on my brain
Hoping not to wreck the soft, grey tissue.

Here in my cell I am barred from green grass and flowers;
Baby bunnies and cooing birds.
What a happy accident to have landed *** first
After hauling my *** out of a long sleep
And praying for an *** that may fill my jeans
Or carry me the **** out of here in hooves of bronze.

Where we're going, there isn't any ******* gold.

20 years and 9 days and teeny little etches for each.
I slap a watch on my wrist and I've got a more grown-up form of torment.
Oh that

TICK

Oh that

TOCK

Oh how it--

TICK

Oh how it--

TOCKs

To me when nothing else will.

There are 5 simple steps to repairing a humanoid vessel:

1) score it
2) don't wreck the soft tissues
3) get the right ***
4) accept the bronze
5) accept that ticks and tocks mean you'll be running on a full 3 hours if you're lucky

I didn't want to talk about forever.
Though forever only spans one life,
I hope to have more than just this one.

I kicked the tobacco, the fried foods,
The binging on anything.
And I don't taste like bitter liquor anymore.

My hair is brushed,
Teeth whitened,
Tongue pink,
Skin clear.

So boring.
I'm so dull.

If you could promise me another life,
You'd never see me again.

My fear of being alone
Is what keeps me coming back for
more.

Again.

And again.

All my words fall out and scatter
Like dumping a box of puzzle pieces
on the grubby carpet.

So here, as I try to piece it all together,
Please hold your breath
(and possibly my hand)
While I ramble on to you,
My sweet, silent listener,
My own temporary love,
You gentle stranger.

Dragging my throat over brambles and thorns,
I've craned my neck to see over a barrier
That made itself known
Despite the roses and smooth lilies
That couldn't cover it enough.

I tried so hard to tear it down,
I wanted to get over it,
Get to you,
And let myself be with you.

I let my nails cake with blood,
As I climbed my way over,
Skinning my legs,
Puncturing my arms.
But never mind the tears,
They pull me over,
Push me to you.

And it's ok.

But as I finally fall over,
Making the final descent over the barrier,
I see you in the distance.

Surrounded by your own barrier;
Your own fortress.

Please let me in.

If to be loved
Feels like tugging on sinew
The way a lazy harpist plucks her strings.

If to be loved
Tastes like bitter wine and sweet dirt.

If to be loved
Is like holding a shard of glass between your teeth
While jumping on a tight rope,
Then I will not have it.

If to be loved
Means learning to love...

Then I publicly refuse this offer.
And I return to the life I used to lead.
Caked in grey and devoid of warmth

So unlike the unbearable heat of your skin
When you wake me with lips on a hot summer's night
And I cannot muster the strength to push you away.
So by your hair I pull you near
And that scream I feel from deep in my gut will
Not make its way to my vocal chords.

I refuse to love anyone again.
Especially one as impermanent as you.

The warm body in my bed
Proved to be no more
Than a memory in my head.