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Anna McElroy Apr 2013
I woke up slowly, taking my time and preparing myself for my endless journey back into civilization. I felt uneasy knowing I was going to be hit by reality. 

As soon as I knew it I was on the train car on my way back. I watched out the window to see something that would give me the answers i had been looking for while i was gone. But all I saw were the colors flashing by me.

But there was something different about today. I knew something would happen on this very day for curtain. It was in the air all around me, it screaming that everything was off balance. It was all sending me a sign that on this day I would see you.

It was right, I saw you.
Anna McElroy Apr 2013
You called out of the blue.
I couldn't believe that it was you. 
But the caller i.d. said your name.
You had dismissed my presence for so long that I was in awe.

You asked to come over.
I let you in.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
All the feelings I had for you starting rushing back in like they were a river pouring through me.

We starred at each other reminiscing on our memories together.
The connection that had always held us up was there,
It was as clear as the sky and both of us could see it.
Maybe it had never really left.

I could see in your eyes that it was taking everything in you to not lean forward and kiss me.
The ****** tension started rising up in both of us.
My head was screaming yes.
But my heart was shaking no.
I had been unconsciously waiting for this moment for as long as I could remember. 

So I gave in.
I went with my head.
As soon as I knew it we were lying in my bed and you were outlining my body with your hands.
I craved your touch.
You were the happiest I had ever seen you,
You always were when we were together.
I wanted to stop time and live in this moment forever.

Even though this moment was perfect,
Everything in me knew I should say no and screamed that this was a bad idea,
But I was too happy to listen to anything besides his breath.
He was everything I wanted.

I could see he was falling back inlove with me.
We both were.
It was scaring the **** out of us.
Right when he realized his feelings he pulled as fast as he could away.

He thought we could just use each other to fill the gap of loneliness.
But nothing ever goes as planned, with us.

He finally left and I was then stranded with my feelings,
All over again.
Anna McElroy Apr 2013
As the light turned to dark,
You were there.
You shielded me from the pain that was trying to tare me apart.
You held me up when I didn't know how too.

I lived on your chest.
It was the only place that i felt safe. Everyday we searched for the invisible bond we both dreamed of.
We thrived for the connection that would move our relationship further,
But neither of us could find it.

So we stopped living in each others arms.
Safety wasn't enough.
We had to learn how to live without one another.
Neither of us wanted to say goodbye.
But our paths were going different ways and neither of us will have the connection we're dying for,
If we stay together.
So we only live in each others memories.
Anna McElroy Apr 2013
You are my soulmate. 
Everyday You keep me sane.
You teach me how to be a better person.
Everything you are is what i lack and desire to be.
I'm envious of your loyalty to your word and to the people that you care about, your kindness and compassion for everyone around you , your integrity to think everything through and make sure everything you do is/was the right decision, and your honesty to yourself.

And even though you are moving on to your next chapter in your life soon, what has kept our friendship so strong and what will keep us close for a long time is always being able to have one an other and truly know and understand each other and accept each other for everything that we are, and having that equal balance of give it take, and knowing that no matter what we are there for each other and would do anything for one an other.


And Even though you won't be able to have the people you love in your next chapter, I know for a fact that you will be right at home in Utah, it will feel right and you'll be happy.

But I can also guarantee you that there'll be bumps in the road but I know with everything in me that you will be ok and will get through them because you always make the right decisions for yourself and because you have a good head on your shoulder and you know yourself more than anyone else. 

And no matter what pulls us apart, our friendship and our memories will keep us together.
Anna McElroy Apr 2013
I allowed myself to open up my walls.
You put your arm out to help me through.
I felt myself filling up with happiness,
Allowing it to wash the pain away.
When the safety and security of your skin
started melting into mine.
I could see you drifting away from me.
Anna McElroy Apr 2013
It started rising up in me like a hot air balloon.
The anguish started stirring my stomach around,
As I began to cease my thoughts,
all the guilt in me rose to the surface,
And all the pain I had caused could never be taken back.
Anna McElroy Apr 2013
My vision was blurred by darkness when I stepped foot into the apartment.
As my eyes adjusted,
I felt out of place knowing all the memory's that held the walls up,
were what tore his down.

As wonder filled my mind of the lifeless being,
who once wandered these halls was like,
the thought dropped from my consciousness
as I became aware of the soft body pulling me closer.
His warm fragile eyes held my gaze.

As he moved towards me,
his lips pressed against mine,
as I felt the soft warmth on me,
some type of switch turned on in both of us.
The moment flew out the door, when the storm flew the door open.
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