in the dark your fingers brush my
lips you lean into my ear and whisper
you choose my love, sweet or sour
my fragile ego goes with sweet
after time goes by my feet in which
what carried me withered away
as your child like crush followed
in my footsteps but my craving for
you stayed until it killed me

hyped up on amphetamines
I see flashes of his hands coming
down on her each and every strike
harder than the next
                                                            ­                                you stupid ****
mimicking the moves we form
our own version of the waltz
playing this dangerous game almost
every night not knowing when to stop
we take things too far but its okay
                                                            ­                                 it's okay, I swear
I am my own mom and you are my dad
your powdered face and beady eyes
nose bleeding you ask why I love you
I cant answer and it's your turn
it's always your turn but I don't mind
because I love you I will always
let you go first if you want

the glow-in-the-dark stars on my wall
are brighter than
my ambitions,
vicodin washes down with
stone cold fear,
and mercury is in retrograde-
not that we felt the need to communicate.
tiny planets on a string,
we danced in the
orbit that we shared.
you had misgivings,
told me pluto
never made it around the sun,
not even once.
but earth created a moon
with her soulmate.
mercury doesn't return direct
until february 11th;
by then
paracetamol and hydrocodone
will have passed.
opiates and human beings
both sources of anxiety
but i don't mind
drowning in them both.