IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT MY FAN BLOWS COLD AIR IT MAKES THE HAIR ON MY ARMS TIGHTEN AT THE PORES AND I SHIVER AS IF YOU HAD JUST TRICKLED YOUR HANDS DOWN MY ARMS AND WHENEVER SOMEONE TOUCHES ME I HOPE IT'S YOU TOUCHING ME BUT IT NEVER ******* IS THE FAN IS THE CLOSEST THING I HAVE LEFT OF THE REMEMBRANCE OF YOUR TOUCH AND JESUS **** I WOULD **** FOR YOU TO JUST TOUCH ME WITH YOUR HANDS AGAIN

YOU HAD EYELASHES SO BEAUTIFUL IT
FELT LIKE A PUNCH IN THE GUT EVERY
TIME YOU'D GLANCE AT ME AND YOU
HAD LIPS ANGELINA JOLIE WOULD BE
JEALOUS OF WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME
HERE IN THE COLD TO SHAKE HYSTERICALLY
AND SHIVER LIKE IT'S WINTER IN ALASKA
IT'S ******* ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR
DEGREES OUTSIDE IN JULY FOR
***** SAKE JUST COME HOME
COME HOME COME HOME

I STILL TASTE YOUR TONGUE IN MY MOUTH AND I CAN STILL FEEL THE WAY YOU USED TO ****** THE ANATOMY OF YOUR TONGUE ALL OVER MY SKIN LIKE IT WAS SECOND NATURE TO DO SO WHY DOES MY SKIN ******* BURN WITH JUST A SIMPLE RECOLLECTION OF YOUR EXISTENCE MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE WHENEVER YOU USED TO TOUCH ME IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT THERE WAS AN ELECTRIC SPARK THAT FLOWED FROM YOU THROUGH ME AND IT WOULD SHOCK MY HEART MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU ALL OVER AGAIN I NEVER TOLD YOU I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT THE SPARKS YOU REPEATEDLY GAVE ME BECAUSE YOU'RE PROBABLY GIVING ANOTHER GIRL SPARKS AND YOU'RE NOT HERE TO GET ELECTROCUTED BY ME ANYMORE

YOU MADE MY ******* KNUCKLES BLEED AND I CAN STILL FEEL YOU IN MY PORES WHY WEREN'T YOU HERE WHEN I ACTUALLY NEEDED YOU I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE GET THE **** OUT OH MY GOD

WE HAD SUCH A BEAUTIFUL ROARING CONNECTION AND
I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHERE THE **** THAT WENT
BECAUSE YOU LEFT AND I HAVE NO
RECOLLECTION OF THE SOUND OF
YOUR VOICE AND IT'S DRIVING ME
INSANE PLEASE JUST HOLD MY
HAND AGAIN

WHAT UPSETS ME IS THAT EVEN THOUGH WE'RE NOT IN EACH OTHER'S LIVES ANYMORE I'LL ALWAYS HAVE THE MEMORY OF YOUR LIPS TOUCHING MINE AND NOW AND THEN I'LL TOUCH MY LIPS BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE YOU'RE STILL HERE EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE LONG GONE AND NEVER COMING BACK AND THE OTHER MORNING I WOKE UP AT FIVE A.M. BECAUSE I SWEAR I FELT YOUR LIPS PRESSED AGAINST MINE BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT IT WAS JUST MY HAND PRESSED AGAINST MY MOUTH FROM SILENCING MY CRY OVER HOW YOUR LIPS WILL NEVER BE ON MINE AGAIN

WHAT'S ABSURD IS THAT I STILL WAKE UP AT THREE IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE YOU'RE CHOKING ME BECAUSE KNOTS FORM IN MY THROAT LIKE THERE'S A ROPE DYING TO BE CHOKED UP BUT I SUPPOSE THAT'S ONLY ME WANTING TO SCREAM YOUR NAME BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE LONG GONE AND I KNOW YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK MY LUNGS STILL SEARCH FOR YOU BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE THEY'RE GOING TO COLLAPSE IF THEY DON'T FIND YOU SOON PLEASE COME BACK AND BE MY OXYGEN AGAIN

I CAN'T BREATHE BECAUSE OF YOU
YOU TOOK MY BREATH AWAY AND
EVER SINCE THEN I'VE BEEN
HYPERVENTILATING I JUST WANT
YOU AND MY AIR BACK WHY
CAN'T I HAVE YOU AND MY AIR
BOTH BACK AND YOU HELP ME
BREATHE AGAIN

MY DEMONS LOOK LIKE YOU
SOMETIMES AND I HOPE THAT
KNOWING THAT MAKES YOU
GET GOOSEBUMPS WHEN
YOU'RE IN HER BED

I WONDER IF YOU EVER WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE YOU MISS ME TOO

THE MEMORY OF YOU HAUNTS ME EVERY DAY WHEN WILL I NOT REMEMBER THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE AND EVERYTHING YOU EVER SAID TO ME?

I WONDER IF YOU EVER HAVE TROUBLE SLEEPING AT NIGHT BECAUSE YOU REMEMBER THAT I ONCE LAID NEXT TO YOU

YOU SAID I REALLY HURT YOU WELL LISTEN HERE BUDDY LOSING YOU HAS BEEN NO WALK IN THE ******* PARK EITHER I'M UP TRYING TO FORGET YOU AND ALL THAT DOES IS MAKE ME REMEMBER YOU EVEN MORE SO DON'T ******* TALK TO ME ABOUT BEING HURT BECAUSE I'VE BEEN NUMB FOR OVER TWO MONTHS NOW

I MISS YOU WAY MORE THAN I SHOULD BUT SOMEHOW IT'S STILL ONE OF THE MOST COMFORTING THINGS I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED

I never thought I'd have to live without you but here I am

I'LL NEVER GET OVER YOU NO MATTER WHO I'M DATING OR MARRIED TO BECAUSE YOU ARE (WERE) HOME AND THE DAY YOU LEFT IT FELT LIKE SOMEONE HAD TORCHED MY HOUSE AND DESTROYED ALL MY BELONGINGS BUT A LITTLE PIECE OF OF YOU WILL ALWAYS BE BURNING INSIDE OF ME AND I LIKE TO THINK I'LL ALWAYS BE BURNING SOMEWHERE INSIDE OF YOU TOO

I NEVER TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I DO I WONDER IF YOU LOVE ME TOO

WE HAVEN'T TALKED IN OVER A MONTH AND IT FEELS LIKE SOMEONE HAS DUG INTO MY SKIN AND CLAWED OUT MY ******* VEINS AND SPLATTERED THEM ALL AROUND ME SO EVERYWHERE I LOOK I SEE YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE IN MY VEINS

AT THIS POINT I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU WERE IN MY LIFE FOR FOUR GREAT MONTHS OR TO HATE YOU FOR LEAVING AFTER BEING IN MY LIFE FOR FOUR GREAT MONTHS

THANKS TO YOU MY HEART WILL ALWAYS HAVE CHIPPED PIECES YOU TOOK A PIECE OF ME THE NIGHT WE FIRST MADE LOVE AND YOU TOOK A PIECE OF ME THE NIGHT WE LAID IN YOUR BED AND MADE LOVE EIGHT OR FIFTY TIMES WE COULDN'T KEEP OUR HANDS OFF OF EACH OTHER AND I'LL ALWAYS BE SCARRED FROM THAT YOU TOOK A PIECE OF ME WHEN YOU BIT AND ****** ON MY EAR SO HARD IT FELT GOOD I WAS SURE I LOVED YOU BECAUSE NO ONE HAD EVER CAUSED A RIVETING PLEASURE IN THE PAIN THEY WERE CAUSING ME BEFORE AND I TRULY BELIEVE THAT NO ONE'S TOUCH WILL EVER AFFECT ME IN THE WAY YOURS USED TO

the color of your eyes still haunts me

THE FIRST TIME WE MADE LOVE WAS MARCH SEVENTH AND I'LL ALWAYS FEEL EMPTY ON THIS DAY EVERY YEAR UNTIL I DIE BECAUSE IT WAS A SCARRING NIGHT CONSIDERING WE KISSED EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE IT WAS APPARENT NEITHER ONE OF US COULD TAKE THE ANTICIPATION ANY LONGER AND OH HOW BEAUTIFULLY OUR LIPS EXPLORED EACH OTHER'S AND JUST THE WORDS MARCH SEVENTH IS ENOUGH TO MAKE MY SKIN CRAWL BECAUSE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO JUST DROP EVERYTHING AND FORGET SOMEONE WHO FIRST MADE LOVE TO ME YOU CAN CLAIM ALL YOU WANT THAT WE WERE ******* BUT YOU DON'T TOUCH ME THE WAY THAT YOU WERE AND CALL IT ******* THE FUNNY THING IS I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT WE WEREN'T ******* AND MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU LEFT BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED TO ACTUALLY LOVE SOMEONE FOR SOMEONE THAT SEEMED TO HAVE SO MUCH LOVE IN HIM THE ONLY THING THAT ENDED UP BEING A **** IS YOU NOT THE WAY YOU TOUCHED ME

THE HYSTERICAL THING ABOUT YOU LEAVING ME IS THAT I BET YOU THOUGHT I'D STOP SMILING JUST BECAUSE YOU AREN'T IN MY LIFE ANYMORE BUT THE JOKE IS ON YOU BABY BECAUSE I FOUND SOMEONE WHO YOU CAN NEVER COMPARE TO AND I'VE MET HIS FAMILY AND HE ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT ME WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN EVER EVEN BEGIN TO SAY FOR YOU BUT HAVE FUN SLEEPING ALONE BABY I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HATE IT

I ASKED YOU THE FIRST NIGHT THAT WE MET WHILE WE WERE MAKING LOVE HOW MANY GIRLS YOU HAD ****** AND YOU SAID THREE I WONDER IF IN THE FUTURE SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU'VE EVER MADE LOVE TO SOMEONE IF YOU'LL COUNT ME AS THE FIRST GIRL YOU EVER MADE LOVE TO OR IF YOU;LL COUNT ME AS NUMBER FOUR IN HOW MANY GIRLS YOU'VE ******

I WISH I COULDN'T STILL FEEL YOU BREATHE AND I WISH I COULDN'T STILL SEE YOU SMILE WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES AT NIGHT BECAUSE IT MAKES IT SO HARD TO FALL ASLEEP AND I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE MEMORIZED AND ALL OF ITS FLUCTUATION AND I WISH I COULD SLEEP IN MY OWN BED AT NIGHT AND I WISH I  COULD JUST NOT HAVE MET YOU BECAUSE YOU DID ME SO WRONG AND I'M UP AT NIGHT WRITING ABOUT YOU WHILE YOU'RE PROBABLY IN HER BED

There comes a point when you just don't love someone anymore. That point will never come with you.

YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART AND THAT ******* TERRIFIES ME BECAUSE I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE IN EVERYTHING I DO I CAN'T EVEN WEAR MY WATCH ANYMORE BECAUSE AFTER I GOT IT SIZED I CAME OVER AND WHILE WE WERE HAVING *** THE PIN THAT ADJUSTED THE BAND WAS STICKING OUT AND IT SCRATCHED YOUR BACK I WISH IT WAS STILL MY WATCH SCRATCHING YOU BUT IT'S PROBABLY HER NAILS GOING UP AND DOWN YOUR BACK

WHAT'S SAD IS I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT YOUR VOICE SOUNDS LIKE

AT THIS POINT I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU WERE IN MY LIFE FOR FOUR GREAT MONTHS OR TO HATE YOU FOR LEAVING AFTER BEING IN MY LIFE FOR FOUR GREAT MONTHS

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST COME BACK BECAUSE YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID IT WOULD **** IF WE COULDN'T BE TOGETHER AND YOU WERE THE ONE TO SAY FIRST THAT YOU MISSED ME AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID I WAS YOUR BABE AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID YOU LOVED MY BODY AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID YOU WERE SORRY AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO BE ANGRY AT YOU AND I KNOW I TOLD YOU I I WASN'T BUT I WAS AND IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BE ANGRY WITH YOU ANYMORE IT'S IN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO JUST COME BACK AND WE CAN START OVER BECAUSE NOW I'M THE ONE TALKING AND I'M THE ONE THAT SAID TO COME BACK AND BE MY BABE AGAIN

I'LL NEVER GET OVER YOU NO MATTER WHO I'M DATING OR MARRIED TO BECAUSE YOU ARE (WERE) HOME AND THE DAY YOU LEFT IT FELT LIKE SOMEONE HAD TORCHED MY HOUSE AND DESTROYED ALL MY BELONGINGS BUT A LITTLE PIECE OF YOU WILL ALWAYS BE BURNING INSIDE OF ME AND I LIKE TO THINK I'LL ALWAYS BE BURNING SOMEWHERE INSIDE OF YOU TOO