LOSING YOU HAS BEEN THE MOST NUMBING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE IT'S BEEN PAINFUL BUT IT'S THE MOST COMFORTABLE PAIN I'VE EVER BEEN BROUGHT UPON IN THE PROCESS OF LOSING YOU I'VE LEARNED THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF NUMBNESS THERE'S THE NUMBNESS YOU FEEL WHEN THE DOCTOR PRESCRIBES YOU MEDICATION AND YOUR BODY DOESN'T REACT THE RIGHT WAY AND THEN THERE'S THE NUMBNESS YOU EXPERIENCE WHEN YOU'RE COMING OFF OF NOVACANE BUT THE TYPE OF NUMBNESS YOU'VE CAUSED ME TO FEEL IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NUMBNESS I THINK A PERSON CAN FEEL BECAUSE I FEEL FREE AND NOW THAT YOU'RE GONE I REALIZED IT DOESN'T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT FROM WHEN YOU WERE SUPPOSEDLY IN MY LIFE SO CAN A PERSON REALLY LOSE SOMEONE THEY FEEL THEY NEVER REALLY HAD IN THEIR LIFE TO BEGIN WITH?

BECAUSE OF YOU MY HEART IS TURNING COLD IT'S NOT RIGHT TO TOUCH ME IN THE WAYS THAT YOU DID AND JUST LEAVE ME I WILL NEVER SCRAPE THE REMNANTS YOU LEFT IN MY MIND AND I WILL NEVER BE FULLY RID OF YOUR TOUCH EVER IF THE SKIN DOES REPLENISH ITSELF EVERY TWENTY SEVEN DAYS BECAUSE YOU TOUCHED ME IN WAYS GREATER THAN PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY YOU AFFECTED ME MENTALLY YOU WERE MY SAFE HAVEN AND NOW I'M JUST COLD AND ALONE CHOKING ON THE LIES YOU TOLD ME THAT KEPT ME WARM AT NIGHT

THANKS TO YOU MY HEART WILL ALWAYS HAVE CHIPPED PIECES YOU TOOK A PIECE OF ME THE NIGHT WE FIRST MADE LOVE AND YOU TOOK A PIECE OF ME THE NIGHT WE LAID IN YOUR BED AND MADE LOVE EIGHT OR FIFTY TIMES WE COULDN'T KEEP OUR HANDS OFF OF EACH OTHER AND I'LL ALWAYS BE SCARRED FROM THAT YOU TOOK A PIECE OF ME WHEN YOU BIT AND ****** ON MY EAR SO HARD IT FELT GOOD I WAS SURE I LOVED YOU BECAUSE NO ONE HAD EVER CAUSED A RIVETING PLEASURE IN THE PAIN THEY WERE CAUSING ME BEFORE AND I TRULY BELIEVE THAT NO ONE'S TOUCH WILL EVER AFFECT ME IN THE WAY YOURS USED TO

CAR BLINKERS ALWAYS REMIND ME OF YOU BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN I'M DRIVING JUST LIKE I NEVER KNEW WHAT TO EXPECT WITH YOU AND I SAY THIS BECAUSE YOU NEVER GAVE ME A ******* SIGNAL THAT YOU WERE GOING TO TAKE THE NEXT EXIT OUT OF MY LIFE YOU JUST ******* MERGED AND WERE OUT OF SIGHT

I HATE FALLING ASLEEP BECAUSE AN HOUR BEFORE I ACTUALLY DO EVERYTHING YOU EVER SAID TO ME POUNDS AT MY HEAD AT SEVEN MILLION MILES AN HOUR AND IT'S HARD TO FEEL COMFORTABLE IN A BED YOU WERE IN AND IT'S HARD TO FEEL COMFORTABLE WHEN MY THROAT IS BURNING FROM CRYING OVER THINGS YOU PROMISED ME YOU'D NEVER DO

YOU NEVER DESERVED SOMEONE WHO CARED AS MUCH AS I DID I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LET YOU TOUCH ME AND NO MATTER WHAT I DO OR WHO I'M WITH I ALWAYS FIND YOU CAMPED OUT IN THE CORNER OF MY HEART AND DID I MENTION I'LL PURPOSELY LAUGH HARD ENOUGH TO THE POINT WHERE I START CRYING AND I'VE FOUND THAT DOING THIS FOR SOME ODD REASON MAKES ME MORE COMFORTABLE WITH YOU NOT STICKING AROUND

I ASKED YOU THE FIRST NIGHT THAT WE MET WHILE WE WERE MAKING LOVE HOW MANY GIRLS YOU HAD ****** AND YOU SAID THREE I WONDER IF IN THE FUTURE SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU'VE EVER MADE LOVE TO SOMEONE IF YOU'LL COUNT ME AS THE FIRST GIRL YOU EVER MADE LOVE TO OR IF YOU;LL COUNT ME AS NUMBER FOUR IN HOW MANY GIRLS YOU'VE ******