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Angie Rourke Mar 2013
Echoes from the past
tear through my soul
to expose me to the
cruel world I live in.
     It's that time of year again...

Abandoned by many
caught up in their everyday lives.
While I scream from within.
Hold it together.
     It's that time of year again...

My front is quite solid.
I've done this before.
No one knows...
I'm doing good.
     It's that time of year again...

But the loyal one's, they stay.
They endore my agaony with me.
It pains me to know that I am hurting them
by showing my true colors.
     It's that time of year again....

Some tell me I'm strong.
Don't they realize this only weakens me?
Leaving me quivering in the darkness
alone and scared.
     It's that time of year again...

But then I think of you,
"Broken Wing" is playing in the background
Embarrassing me in public....
Calling to pick you up while you hide behind the store...
What!  You're not allowed to skateboard through Target?
Come get me Mom...

I miss you.
You would anger me so much.
But I would laugh when you weren't looking.
I long for that laughter now...

Thank you for the joy that you have given to me.
I will love you Always and Forever.
     Especially at this time of year....
Angie Rourke May 2013
Brian was the perfect teammate.  We were team parents and out numbered 3-2.  But he was a strong enough player to hold a level playing field.  When bases were loaded, he was the catcher and tagged our children before they could score a run.  His commitment to our team made us strong and we did the best that we could to hold them on base during the teenage years.  But their team was stacked.  Three heavy hitters ready to stand up to the championship team…  Wow!  What an amazing game we all played together.  And I had an outstanding coach.

            But one day, one of their player’s was injured and could no longer play the game.  It was a sad day, the day we realized that we were one team and that one of our star players would not be there to help bring our team back to victory!  We suffered a few bases, but even though we did, we still came out winners….

Krystalyn married the man of her dreams.  She brought 2 new players to the game, Joel and Zoey.  3 runs there.  Sean has gotten sober and is in school to be an oral assistant.  Score 3 more.  I have moved on to be G-Ma and the proudest parent I can be… I scored 3.  Brian fell in love, remarried and shared our family victories.  4 more runs.

            What an awesome team.  We are sad that Brian was injured and cannot play anymore. We will miss our coach. .  But, we are happy he and Jay are together now in the bleachers and keeping score.  We are still winning…. 13-0.
Dedicated to Brian Rourke 9/13/68 – 4/30/13  
I wrote this eulogy for my ex-husband of 20 years....  I feel that it describes our many years together, at the baseball field, through the loss of our son, our divorce, and how to go on from here...  Thank you for being a part of my life through good times and bad, together and apart.  You may have hurt me, but you will always hold a place in my heart.
Angie Rourke Aug 2013
Am I invisible?
Are you blind?
Why does no one see me?
Do I repulse you?

Breakthrough!
I recall what I want to be again.
The feeling of belonging to something bigger than just myself.
Longing for more than emptiness….

Conversation…
Touch my soul.
Show me that we have so much in common.
Fill me with confidence and empower me.

Hold me close.
Remind me that I can loved without a word.
A kiss that steels my heart.
A touch that causes me to tremble with glee.

All the stupid rules of dating, laid down by whom?
Wait 3 days.  Don’t call me, I’ll call you.
Can’t come off as desperate, or you may be scared away.
So I still sit in my room alone and longing…  

Do you feel the same?
Are you going to sit in your room tonight and think…
Am I invisible?
Is she blind?
Does she not see me?
Do I repulse her?

No, I see you…

— The End —