It was peaceful last night..I got on a bus, so happy about where we were going. Thinking of beautiful islands, ships, and little drink umbrellas, When I was informed by a holy man that you had died.

To my surprise I felt no pain from this, no never ending stream of tears to drown out my loss and make it whole, as though a single one shed could toss me from the outskirts of acceptance.

Seconds passed, this I know, then minutes, maybe hours before I dared to move again. When the bus screeched to a halt, the man who had told me, he said we arrived.

I simply reached in my pocket, grabbed my old phone, and told him I'd get off at the next spot. With a sigh of compassion, he said he understood, and I stayed quiet there, for long minutes of thought.

Then finally, what had been weighing so heavy on my mind had moved to my lips, and I couldn't bare the strain of silence anymore. Without thought or control I yelled, "How could you know?!"

The man smiled at me apologetically and said she went to his church. This had only left me outraged, as my mind was met with even more questions. Until he finally told me to check my phone.

Confused and angry, I nearly smashed the thing in protest of the entire affair. But the man could see this, and stayed my hand. He gave a warm smile, and told me that all would be clear after I read the messages.

Then for a moment, my senses returned and I took the man's word for truth. I looked at my phone, away from the games I had up to distract, and saw their, that my inbox read "2."

I paused for a moment, unsure of what to trust, or maybe to do, and hovered my finger over the keys. I wanted to move forward, I wanted to press on, but I knew I'd have to accept whatever I saw as truth, and for a moment the temptation was there to reject the affair and hit "delete" as a fool.

But try as I did, I couldn't bring myself to do it. To wipe away, what I knew could be your last words to me, any memories I could hold to in these defining moments.

So I pressed the button, to see the messages there. The first I read slowly, a note which read so sweetly as to say goodbye. It held your favorite slang, like a casual conversation. And had sections name by name, addressed to every person.

First your mother, then your father, then your brother, and sister too. Every name you had addressed, they loved you through and through. And when I read, your words aloud, it was clear that this you knew. But could not bare the thought of how, we'd all be missing you.

I read the words, line by line, and your sweet words rang true. I tried my best, but could not find, my last words from you.

Then I realized, that you had left a second note for me to read. Addressed to me in so tender a tone, that my heart did skip a beat.

I read the words and dropped my phone, I couldn't seem to move. I tried my best to thank the man through the tears that I was weeping. But he simply smiled and held up his hand, as his eyes followed suit.

Sometimes I lay awake, trying to remember what I forgot. Like all the times we never fought, because I never thought of you as anything less than beautiful.

It never crossed my mind that I might forget to be kind the next time around when I got the chance to say, "Good morning, I love you."

Because it's true that what I felt for you was nothing short of amazing. Your breathtaking smile giving life to my heart, kept me waiting with bated breath to see it once more.

And every day I made sure to give you my best guess at the word "love." Like it was something to be proud of, I gave you my heart.

In the hopes that I could start each and every day the same way I always did, with "Good morning, I love you." But life, isn't always a fairy tale..

And sometimes, it was easy to sell me on the idea that our love was never worth it.

Because on the days we fought, and our best guess wasn't perfect, I somehow forgot all the times I remembered to say "Good morning, I love you."

Our voices raised, our tempers flared, we compared each other to tidal waves, ready to crush all hope we had of love.

And soon we found that in our rage, that beautiful phrase wasn't enough to hold a gaze of love any longer.

So now sometimes, I lay awake, trying to remember what I forgot, like all the times we never fought, and I got the chance to say, "Good morning, I love you."

We dig through our old memories, to see what we can save, in hopes of finding remedies, to get us through our daze.

Our days of dragging moments, and things we do let slip, we dig to find atonement, for things we can't admit.

Things like seconds wasted, never doing what we should, we dig to find ourselves, never doing any good.

But through all our years of digging, through all the years we've lost, we've run the risk of rigging, so we always pay the cost.

This gamble is a risky one, yet many do still play, in hopes of finding time of old, we gamble time away.

To lose is to win, yet still we feel the pain, and still we play again, ever losing what we gain.

And so I tell you now, don't fall into this game, many have lost before you, and you will do the same.