Every time I build my self up, it goes to hell.
I build my self up just to be shattered again.
It has become natural to just be strong; to bite my lip and stare into space.
I can identify my emotions but I have become so accustomed to hiding them that it is hard to express them.
Not hard as in I do not know how to express them,
but hard as in it is difficult to show any sign of weakness or vulnerability when that is exactly what I trained myself not to do.  
It is as if I am a rag doll.
I feel limp.
I know exactly what I am feeling but I am limp because in order to not show weakness, I had to let myself feel limp to prevent showing any emotion, therefore  not allowing vulnerability and weakness to be revealed.
So I guess I am a rag doll.
And once you become a rag doll, it is incredibly hard to go back.

feeling so small;
drowning in a crowd, silent cries for help ignored.
lonely and invisible.
carrying around a tiny bit of worth in such an exclusive world,
and constantly trying to fit in
keeping a big, powerful voice quiet eats away the confidence.
false smiles cover tired souls.

...in a world of normality one does not even in their wildest dreams consider breaking free from this perfect prison.