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Andrian Sep 2014
hurt.
my heart hurts when the wrong words are spoken and the words don't..... stop.
pain.
i feel it deep, like no other, piecing my veins until a......pop.
penetrating the depths of my existence, why am i here? don't tell me. i dont wanna hear it.
lies
you said you'll love me for my heart, but dont you come near it
reason
my purpose is yet to be exposed like the, dark, long black hair, of the one who wear the hijab.
reason.
my purpose is to what? to be loved and be lied to.
pain
defining my person. my past present and my future. possessing anything good is no longer in my nature
dark
morning when the sun is shining at its brightest, birds calling me to take on the day, but the request is denied
blocked of all sunrays, no beams shine thru.
heart... like my room.
cold and dark, empty and....
my heart is heavy, i cant seem to see past...
pain.
how to deal with
pain
how to live past the
hurt
life
purpose..... my purpose
what is my purpose
reason
what is my reason for my pain
no pointing fingers, but baby you are the one to blame
before... there once was a time when i was... full of life... full of purpose,  sunrays, and positivity . you took it from me...
and i take it back
with every fiber of my being i reclaim the happy me
pain
can only be felt, it  grabbed me aggressively and carressed  me
i thought i was ok
to feel
pain....
i no longer feel the pain from you
but from the generation who yet has to feel
your... pain
Andrian Apr 2013
Same life, new day, I got the same situations. My anger builds up, I get the same frustration, I make the wrong choices without the hesitation, everyday I expect something new, but why am I waiting?
I keep on debating, I say things I don't like its like I'm always complaining, I smile during the day, but at night here comes the pain, and, I run from it at a steady pace, like the dreams I see in my eyes, I'm running in an empty race.
What a beautiful mistake, its something that I can't take, but I'm fighting for my own sake. Only battle that you'll lose is when you fighting with fate. The fight with fate, you can never win it, because your plan was made out all the way from the beginning, so in the end, who is really winning?
Its you, because you never gave up, and to the others, that's just super ugly, like too much makeup. But, don't slow your role, don't press the hand break, that's when they will think its cool to give you heart aches. Stand strong and get what you need and desire all on your own, and that's what makes an independent person strong.
**** them all with kindness, this is the dead end zone, and when its all said and done. its you who conquered the throne.
I was stressed when I wrote this, had a bad week. I came home from school and cried and then I had nobody to talk to so I just wrote this short poem and it made me feel A LOT better. I hope you enjoy.
Andrian Apr 2012
You may think I’m joking around, but what I’m about to tell you is all straight fact
You may think I’m slacking behind on where I’m destined to be, but listen to me, don’t turn your back

You might be surprised when I tell you that yes, I’m coming
It might not be when you want, but when I come in my wheels are still going to be burning

You’re gonna doubt my success of course, you’re gonna think that I never did earn it
And this fame that I know I’m gonna get, you’re gonna think that I don’t deserve it
This message I got for you, I’ll be more than honored to serve it.

You are gonna see me grow stronger overtime and you’re gonna be proud of the woman I’m becoming
You still think I’m not coming, but I’m and when I do, you won’t see me running

You think you are ahead of me? Well check your side-view mirrors, and tell me who you see. It’s me you see and I’m going way above the speed.
Objects in mirror are closer than what they appear
You think I’m not gonna make it but look, I’m already here

You didn’t see me coming when I was on my road to success
You think I cut you off, you just didn’t see me coming and that made you upset.
I know that I’m greater and not all the dollars in the world can name my value
I’m made it to where I want to be and yes, I expected you to think I was mad at you.

I’m conquering all obstacles and I’m taking whatever it is that has my name
I’m holding the title “champion” because I already beat this game
I told you I was gonna make it, don’t worry, have no shame
Traded my chair for a throne, what a mighty exchange
When they asking who out did them, I’ll take that blame.
When reading this, the perspective isn't personal. Its going from a person who had a dream, was doubted, and started living their dreams and living it right. When is says "You think I cut you off, you just didn't see me coming and that made you upset" is saying that you didn't know that I really was going to live up to my dream one day, and you're upset now that you are wrong/ at the fact that I'm successful now.

— The End —