There is no way to explain
The splitting shriek of the pain
And still, I know, it was no fault of mine
But these thoughts continue to take up all my time

I can’t help from thinking
I will never be normal again
Because I was only just surviving
when your memories came around
And burned everything I had to the ground.

I wanted to be normal
safe in my own mind
I wanted to live quietly
and never forced to fear
Half the population
That we’re all raised near

And I know still
It can not be all.
But in your society,
Or what you call,
it is far too normal.
And I still am left wondering
When will be the next time

But now I guess I’m normal
As normal as can be.
You don’t want to be normal.
Normal just like me.

Andrew W.
1-29-20

When you feel too much
Of what you already have felt
And it repeats
And it beats
Like its stinging in your blood
When your chest hurts
and you can’t explain
How you can always feel it in your veins
And how it’s driving you insane

An ache that runs through your soul
And passing through the core
And turning the inside grey.
One place that will always stay plain

Like a tree split by lightning
That’s been left out in the rain
It can feel the water
Running around inside itself
Wishing the memories that were left
Would just go away

That tree is just like you.
it has too been changed
And that tree knows
some wounds that already healed
Will always remain.

Andrew W.
1-29-20

How fortunate would it be
If we didn’t have to think
Not to live in inconsistency

If the world were bright and sunny
And the storm had never come
We would all live in harmony.
Everything but one.

For I am the human conscience,
That you can never shake
The voice in your head
That moans and groans
And rattles until you break.

So we have to learn to live
Without the safety of our friends
Waiting for the day that they would leave us too

Andrew W.
1-28-20

The girl in my nightmares,
She speaks soft and low,
is always still as stone,
And passes the weeks
Who is numbing out the pain
With her tears of shame

That girl to whom I asked,
“Who is he?”
As you pulled her close

She never answered though
She was still too busy yelling,
“Get away from me”
But I knew she didn't know.

Reminds me of the nightmares
where I never see your face.
And that girl that no one knew
Because you took her to that place

The place where the light rarely shines
And the happiness is erased
And so you think,
I better keep that razor
Maybe just in case.

And that color that I saw
Was the color you saw true
When you reached into me
And tore my heart out too.

Andrew W.
1-28-20

One letter can make you remember everything
And lead you to regret
Ever wanting the acknowledgment
Of what you never did fret

Take me back to when it didn’t matter
When I was an adventurous explorer
In a jungle wide
When I was younger
and never knew what next
When life went my way

Take me back to my bewilderment
Before my life went astray
Take me back to my ambitions
When life was as a mission to be played
Like soaring through the midnight sky
And blowing stars out like candles
When I could look at life
And say that it was easy
It was easier not for me to see.
It was when the joy of a single day
Could fill a lifetime of todays

But it seems as we get older,
The envelope gets stamped,
The shuttle falls out of orbit,
The nighttime fades to day,
And before you were ready to send the letter,
It evaporates into thin air
And the chance you had not taken
turns to sail away.

Andrew W.
1-28-20

Although you are a person
Albeit a different one than me,
you are a person nonetheless
and so I value you, as you would value me.

And as mere humans
we are plagued by regret
always awaiting the next chance,
but only getting more upset.

A human waiting for a goal
is impatient as the sun
waiting to rule the sky
after the seasons have gone cold.

The soul will soon get bored
and decide that it must leave
and pursue another passion,
whatever that may be.

For as you soon may see,
the only way to learn
and to truly live as free
Is to live your life by honesty

Andrew W.
1-27-20

Guilt.
What a wonderful thing
To feel as though everything is your fault
Even something you know you didn’t do
Something entirely separate from yourself
A crime you didn’t commit
A tragedy you witnessed
But didn’t experience

But I did.
I did experience it
And it doesn’t make sense
How no one noticed
Feigning oblivions
There were dozens of people
Who didn’t notice
Who didn’t care

But also.
It’s my guilt for a person I never knew
A person I never got the chance to know.
Guilt because I could have changed the outcomes
I could have known the person I was before him
And I could have been the last.
Its guilt for the suffering he put them through
The ones I couldn’t save
The ones that he ***** next
Could I have protected the ones I never knew?

Andrew W.
1-27-20