If I said that I loved my life that wouldn't be the truth,
but if I said that I hated it, I'd still be lying,
it's not what I wanted for myself when I was a youth,
**** it, I don't care, I'm gonna keep on trying,
to get with this dream in which the means stay unseen,
to do what I want and and still fulfill what I need,
to get to the top and still remain humble,
to catch my happy ending no matter much I've fumbled,
I'll go through the trials, I'll pay all my dues,
and I won't just be another of the million ******' yous.
I'll stay strong even though I have substantial weakness,
I'll keep positive when it seems like naught but bleakness,
I can have my cake and eat it if I pick a different flavor,
One step at a time, walk the line, out of my own disfavor.
My life is my own, no matter what you have told, just need to find a new perception,
Though it's drastically altered, the life of the father does not end at conception.
When his mom left, I lost my son in my mind,
in dark times, I went out in public to hide,
the drink was my best friend, my lover,
I couldn't tell one day apart from another,
when I went to bed every night, my thoughts were the same,
what's the best place in my house to tie a rope to hang,
Then I wanted to just leave, go Californi-way,
but my sanity resurfaced, begging me to stay,
told me I need to stop thinking just of what I want now,
get this veil in front of my eyes to lift somehow,
I need to fight for what's really important,
and I can't do it all, I'm not omnipotent,
but the worst fear that I've ever ******* had,
is my son to not know me, not recognize his dad,
so no matter what, that's objective number one,
and for once in my life, I won't hide, I won't run.
Rap's not my career, I’d like it to be,
but the eight ball says, “Outlook is bleak”,
So I went back to school, to get a degree,
cause sometimes you gotta tie yourself down to be free.
Not what I dreamed as a kid, but I'm not a kid anymore,
I'm getting with the idea of being a capitalist *****,
The great thing about dreams is that there's malleable,
I don't have to give up if one goes unfulfilled,
A fork in the road is not a dead end,
and my soul's not yet so broken that I can not mend.
So I'll walk this path, doing what I'd rather not,
so that in the end I'll have what I really want,
the respect of my son, and life free of poverty,
a home on the water, whatever body it may be,
and when I close my eyes for my final rest,
to review my life with minimal regrets.