I'm addicted to pain,
as much as someone who is
addicted to hurting their veins.
  
The adrenaline rush it gives me,
compares to no other.
  
I look for drama because I'm
a self-depleting person, who
is only satisfied when they're hurting.
  
I put myself in horrifying situations,
it's a day to day occupation.
  
I trap myself in a dark hole,
like that of an abyss, my heart
can barely pronounce scared due
to its lisp.
  
Angels and demons kiss my soul
with death defying holes.
  
I tend to feel lost without no control,
to regain myself is an everlasting toll
of hatred and resentment.
  
Looking into a mirror,
to only find yourself terrified
of those hollow eyes.
  
A face tells a story,
but mine seems to not stop,
like an undying pendulum clock.

My Specter around me night and day
Like a wild beast guards my way;
My Emanation far within
Weeps incessantly for my sin.

A fathomless and boundless deep,
There we wander, there we weep;
On the hungry craving wind
My Specter follows thee behind.

He scents thy footsteps in the snow
Wheresoever thou dost go,
Through the wintry hail and rain.
When wilt thou return again?

Dost thou not in pride and scorn
Fill with tempests all my morn,
And with jealousies and fears
Fill my pleasant nights with tears?

Seven of my sweet loves thy knife
Has bereaved of their life.
Their marble tombs I built with tears,
And with cold and shuddering fears.

Seven more loves weep night and day
Round the tombs where my loves lay,
And seven more loves attend each night
Around my couch with torches bright.

And seven more loves in my bed
Crown with wine my mournful head,
Pitying and forgiving all
Thy transgressions great and small.

When wilt thou return and view
My loves, and them to life renew?
When wilt thou return and live?
When wilt thou pity as I forgive?'

Over my sins thou sit and moan:
Hast thou no sins of thy own?
Over my sins thou sit and weep,
And lull thy own sins fast asleep.

What transgressions I commit
Are for thy transgressions fit.
They thy harlots, thou their slave;
And my bed becomes their grave.

Never, never, I return:
Still for victory I burn.
Living, thee alone I'll have;
And when dead I'll be thy grave.

Through the Heaven and Earth and Hell
Thou shalt never, quell:
I will fly and thou pursue:
Night and morn the flight renew.'

Poor, pale, pitiable for
That I follow in a storm;
Iron tears and groans of lead
Bind around my aching head.

Till I turn from Female love
And root up the Infernal Grove,
I shall never worthy be
To step into Eternity.

And, to end thy cruel mocks,
Annihilate thee on the rocks,
And another form create
To be subservient to my fate.

Let us agree to give up love,
And root up the Infernal Grove;
Then shall we return and see
The worlds of happy Eternity.

And throughout all Eternity
I forgive you, you forgive me.
As our dear Redeemer said:
"This is the Wine, and this the Bread."'

Nowhere left to go
Standing,
At the crossroads
Just a man.

Searching the sand
For his fingerprints,
Lost
So long ago.

Echoes of yesterday
Mirrors across today

Almost time to die.

Frozen tears never fall
They,
Just shatter.

I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears:
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine.

And into my garden stole.
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning glad I see,
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

Words you speak are ***** to A drunken man.
Actions you take are sun to A dried up land.
Thoughts you think are empty like your promises.
Your mouth is poisonous  like a snake that hisses.
Your touch is cold as the void in your heart.
I wish your heart was a race,
A race with no start.
Your being is vile as a slithering serpent.
Your mind is a maze,
A maze with no hint.
A continuous game.
No start.
No finish.
I want your life to be full of torment and anguish.

I knew I would miss you
But I guess I never really thought
About how much I trusted you
How much you helped me through
Now I'm stuck again
Tongue tied and alone
The world keeps on spinning
And when I fall your not there
To help me up.

I guess it's good for me
To try to hold up my own
But with you I was a person
Left behind the monster I'd become

Now here I am with reality crashing down
Like a chandler over my head
You were my shield
Protecting me from words
Now they just hit me
And I haven't armor to deflect them

Never know how much
I clung onto you

But now I see what I had dragged you to
And I'll miss you.

I yield to an overwhelming desire for you  
I’m constantly fighting temptations….  
but losing the battle before it starts  
I've abandoned sound reasoning,  
and entertained demented judgment...  
due to my lustful imagination,  
driven by ****** thoughts of you.  
I'm being coerced by framed images,  
and enticed by your natural glory  
For you have weakened me,  
with intense craving...  
that blush at my flesh.  
I can feel your body clothe mine,  
dressing me in fabrics of passion,  
stitched together with wanton thread.  
Focusing on highly charged ****** episodes,  
Stuck on repeat....  
...in my mind.  
How I wish I could feel you,  
seducing my skin with feverish chills...  
as I fantasize of you,  
Breaking me down and exposing my core  
becoming the other part me,  
Allowing the friction of your tightness  
to tease my hardness,  
as it collides with the warmth of your wetness.  
****!  
This WANT is crazy….  
but this NEED is insane.  
I want to feel you…..  
I NEED to feel you…