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5.3k · Feb 2013
TV Tripe
Andrew Scott Feb 2013
Maverick ex-cop (Green Beret /Navy Seal /SAS/Ranger)
Twiddle of the fingers to crack a 64 bit hexadecimal code
Shot but can still beat up bad people and run
15 people firing automatic weapons and they all miss
Database that searches the planets population in 2 seconds
And has photos of their children and plans of their building
Regardless of the crime scene sample, always a rare element that pinpoints location
Car chase where a truck can keep up with a Ducati motorbike
Organisations that only employ attractive people in lead roles
Ugly people are tech specialists sometimes allowed to be ‘quirky’
Even the uglies are attractive people disguised with glasses and bad hairstyles
‘I dream of genie’ gendre were they flirt but never get it on, unless it’s a hospital series
Watchable, funny programs that always succumb to sloppy sentimentality
High schools complete with intolerance, marginalisation, bullying, and hell on earth,
The most disturbing and darkest crime sent to titillate mid evening family viewing
Endless humiliation for fatties, chefs, performers, builders, restaurateurs, and troubled teens
Dysfunctional law enforcement agencies that never work together under any circumstances
Enough, if we need this thick coating of unreality, perhaps its time to switch off?
1.3k · Jun 2012
Recruiters
Andrew Scott Jun 2012
You prevent me moving on
You limit my horizons
You cheapen my achievements
And you delete me based on age

You are the judge and powerbroker
Little that qualifies you for this
And your prejudices and abilities gap
Run riot over my ambition

When you are from within
And not an agent for
My background scares you
And threatens your own standing

No perfect world
No meritocracy
No boat rockers
Just the usual suspects
789 · Jun 2012
Resting Between Gigs
Andrew Scott Jun 2012
Lack of people contact drains confidence
Its not there when you want to use it
Like an empty gun
Making you the deer in the headlights

The blended grey days leak ability
And enthusiasm
Fix the toilet, mow the lawn
Or just sit and stare

The lies on paper grow wider
In order to gain attention
And once given scream ‘fraud’
As you stumble to convince the unbelievers

Work for yourself
The old mantra repeats
But where are the clients
The ready takers for your services

Going over the edge
It’s not a rapid movement
But you can see it coming
From the first day it started
503 · May 2017
We quikka N you
Andrew Scott May 2017
When pop was a boy
Iz pride and joy
Was just to have wheels wiv a mota

Tricked up didn’t play, not in their hood
Even though you could
End result wouldn’t lift the skin - off a rice pud

Real quick in that day
Only came by the way
Of serious a serious wedge of pay

Aston, Ferrari, you could take to the bank
Hemi, Stang and Vette for the yanks
For most just wall posters and wanks

These days it different, back from the dead
Universal balance has got out of bed
And delivered justice for the poor petrolhead

You can strut your stuff, in your supa caa
But the kid in a Rex or an EVO jam jar
Gonna embarrass you, you fucken rockstar

We quikka N you - its no pop quiz
These days turbos and nitrous is the biz
Nuffink about the money just how big your ***** is

Want to put up your half million Mclaren
Thats just a few tenths quicka, than a subbie wagon
Equipped wiv a teenage ****** called Darren?

We quikka N you - even with your cash
One real aspect in life, where design and dash
Triumphed over money and flash

We quikka N you

And don’t you forget it

Now get out of my way

— The End —