I don't understand why I shake,
I don't understand why we are the same
and yet you suffer so.
Do I cry? Is it because I am
helpless to help less?

I understand rage, quick and passionate
but this anger in my veins,
something that never fades
or dissipates with a punch
   It does not give me strength
   It makes me brittle, and makes me
   seem little.

perhaps it is a drop of water, or maybe a tiny stone
that has caused this madness, a craziness that I created
I sit in a stone cell with no light and the drip drop dropping
on the loose veil of sanity

i don't know why i bought them
i just did
like my brother and sister i set it alight
ablaze, like my lungs, and i try
i try so hard to be like them
and yet everything i do in life sets us apart
they are so alike, the trio, the children,
they are so alike, and yet i am exiled.
Perhaps it is age, and perhaps it is the boy
Perhaps it is because he blew me away
out of his life, just like the smoke
and now only the smoke comforts me
and the heat keeps me warm
for nobody could

what's more tragic?
my infatuation I regret,
or
the love that this could beget

as i sit here, months after, i remember not
the sweaty ******* or sated lust,
but the light kisses,
and your eyes,
how they
pitied
me

It is not in the song that i find my peace,
but in the singing.
Silenced for days, my voice a warm memory
of the notes that I should have hit.