There was always something
about catch and release fishing
that seemed pointless and empty to me.
And even as a child,
I always connected
with the tragic, broken-hearted heroines
in all my favorite novels.
Who knew it was premonition.
There are things I'll never understand
about life and men and love.
Why stop to pet a stray,
if you'll just leave it at the pound?

You can smell it on my breath.
Say you care,
but no you don't.
Actions speak much louder,
and your words go up in smoke.

Something I thought,
and drunkenly wrote,
hanging onto my last breath.
The last moment between loving you,
and learning to hate you.

In the wake
of your words,
the embers burn.
Feelings, thoughts, my ideas of you
smolder all around.
And I'll toss your ashes to the wind.
Maybe you'll
resurface again.

You think I am the weaker ***.
You mock my "womanly" feelings.
But secretly, I laugh.
It's so obvious I am stronger.
When I possess the ability to love you,
despite your blatant foolishness.

You once told me
that your favorite part of me staying over,
was how your pillows smelled like my hair
after I was gone.
I thought that was funny;
Because when I got home,
before I washed it,
I'd smell my hair.
In it were wisps of you.

Soft emerald bed,
my head's in the sky.
Or is it the sky that's in my head?
Either way,these thoughts have long been beaten dead.
And no matter how hard I try,
I'll never find you outside my mind.
You should've apologized,
and I'm sorry.

You don't know I hate you,
and you never felt my love.
For someone who's in tune with Earth,
you don't catch much in your glove.
Room's spinning in circles,
can't even be sure of the time.
I don't know when I realized,
that you were never mine.

The feel of your hands,
the smell of your hair,
the rush of your energy,
the light of your soul.
The tingle of your touch,
the brush of your lips,
the tone of your whisper,
the wake of your smile.
The way you made me feel small;
I remember it all.

There's a picture you took together.
Down by the water, in summertime.
Your arms wrapped all around her,
clutching on like a life-line.
Like breathing her in is never enough.
All your feelings, frozen in time.
I hate it and I love it.
The picture says what you cannot.
All I can think when I see it is,
'you've never loved me like that.'

What was I to do?
When you said my eyes
are your favorite color blue.
Was I not supposed to fall for you?
You set traps, you see.
And I fell for every one.
The thunder of the sea
met the burning sun.
Pounding in my ears,
And blazing through my eyes.
I didn't know that it was you,
while we lived our separate lives.
No more searching, I can rest.
My soul knew you from the start.
It's too bad that all my best
still finds you wanting us apart.
So I'll remember what you said,
about my eyes and the color blue.
And I'll be waiting in the quiet
while my heart lives on with you.