My mind and thoughts are twisting. Resisting to believe.
What they suggest
Is the worst.
Its 3 am and im still awake.
This might hurt but i won't let it ache.
The vague and double talking belongs to those who forsake. You wait for me you could not stay  waiting.I was late.  go wherever. Wherever i went you  we're not there so we waited for you but I don't think really that you care you are somewhere else with something else surprise visits lead to shock I don't want to hear what my mind talks so I went away I went alone far away where I call home. I forgot  mine there.you 're probably with one who stalks you through your/their phone. I will drive . I will walk ,but I will not pursue you. I will never stalk .you

I can feel it calling.I am aware of its caress. I am calm,  nearly peaceful,unblinking. No feeling of distress. my eyes are gazing blankly into nowhere to escape where I'm at.  how symbolic is each gesture each word that I've spat?
I'm already engaged, promised to my biggest fan. not here or there or anywhere in this land. Yet still he reaches out for me and I offer back my hand. I can hear him calling. I can feel his caress. I am peaceful. unblinking . wandering into my death.

I don't know where my head's at I don't have a clear free line all I know is that I'm coming up from behind I got to get back in the race the one I did **** from when I wandered away I've been lost and distracted all these years I'm not much more to say but even though I'm not awake yet I know I am alive as I'm jumping in feet first I will plunge but not dive avoiding unneeded injuries I'll commit to a plan to stand undivided without a man

My eyes have turned away, looking down
Deep into the ground.
Staring blankly forward, or up into the sky.
Eyes turnaway.
These eyes that dont want to cry.
My ears have closed
to block out the sound of the seemingly endless verbal assault.
What have i done?
Am i at fault?
Careless words lead the insecure to suspect us all.
I should have kept the wall up.
Now it will crumble and fall

Lesions from battle
Scars of attacks
Legions of Infiltrators
Knife you in the back.
No one is left simple, pure or devout.
Capturing the unsuspecting before they. Could run out.
Run. Run. Run out and away. There is no love for you here today.
It comesfir you when it pleases,  not when you are deserving.
This long life of mine feels so disturbing.
Im tired of defending my borders and standing face to face with tyrrants.
I should just fall indefeat, et i never have stayed down.
I have felt the urge to stay on my feet.

I am nothing to no one, no one that I see.
I am remembered enough for who I meant to be.
My life just could not hold me,
Nor claim meor name me
Your fleeting weak two faced so called love can not hurt, shame defame nor rename me
I am delated of heart, but not of spirit.
So peddle onto other shores
Where the Sun hits your back.
Dont  Stay
Golden.
Dont Go Back.
Carry on.

It seems to me
just as it seems to be-
My Life will not entertain Harmony.
...not by choice...
I'm  oblivious to quarrels.
I'm  incompetent to debate.
Bound in Fate.
...my Unheard Voice...

Fated to be Alone.
Not Lonely.
Only Aware that I am the one and only One that will pick myself up, after Your Day in My Sun.

This Life of mine keeps struggling, I must once again lose,
Because I've  refused to accept,
this Life that I choose.
I Choose to be partnered, but I Am Not.
Again.Alas.
I'm  Abandoned as I.  Have abandoned this Love that you ******* Crushed.
I will stand where I Am, until I wander away...
...not finding the voice for what i must say.
I will regret not the partig.
...the Parting Out of my Life...
...like an old truckto be dismantled and sold as a salvage.
Lost.

I am unpaired in this Bond,
Bound in Fate