I feel like a monster..
I am no longer me.
My nail color has turned to black.
I can't remember the last time I was truly happy.
Can you smile with a mind filled with sorrow?
Disoriented, but still say you're ok?
Can you be drained, yet determined and mellow?
How about apprehensive, embarrassed, yet adequate?
I just want to know what you did to me.
This curse you have bestowed.
I just want to know what you think of me.
..Tell me before I hit my all tim
                                                    e

                                                                     l
                                                                         o
                                                                               w..

that
moment
when
you
meet
someone
and
everything
just
makes
sense.
everything
just











clicks.

listen to everyone.
dont give up. stay strong.
when they need someone,
'Cause they feel lonely.
let them know there won't be any of the attention they received before.
'Cause now.
*You don't care

I just,                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                           
         really,                                      
                   kinda,
                             sorta,
                                       feel like,
                                                  I have this urge to-
                                                             ­        ugh, i don't know-
                                                           ­                             kinda weird,
                                                          ­                                        but all I want
                                                                ­                                              to do to you,
                                                            ­                                                              lik­e,
                                                              ­                                                    at this very moment
                                                          ­                                                                 ­         is
                                                     ­                                                                 ­                   well ..
                                                              ­                                                                 ­                   

                                                                                                                                                     hold your hand.

It is not just that you are the first person I have ever truly loved.
Nor is it the fact that between everyone else I put you above.
I'm certain it was not that adorable laugh of yours,
And it is not that smile, that I no longer see anymore.
Could it be the way you walked?
The way you sat?
The way you wrote?
The way you held on to me with our young love in the air?
No, it cannot be, there is much more.
For it was not just my life you entered upon,
But my mind.
It was not my ear you whispered sweet bliss to,
But my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed,
But my soul.

Wake up.
Get up.
The light it finally turned on.

That one situation
That one person
That one feeling
Moving on *****
Especially when you feel super glued.

There are so many colors in a crayon box.
Everyone has their favorite.
Mine just happens to be you.

You're the pink to my hearts that overfill the page with your name written inside.
You're the blue to the tear on my stick figures that I draw every time we say goodbye.
You're the red to the fire I doodle when ever I remember our last kiss.
You're the yellow I shade in the smiley faces as you make me grin.
Your're the green to the color of nature, that has a beauty so very close to yours.
You're the orange that shows our warm hugs like the suns light reflects the sea shores.
You're the purple when we're apart, there's loyalty there that I trust with all my heart.
You're the black to my night sky, surrounded by the twinkling stars of our outrageous memories.
You're the white to heaven's clouds, and its not as far as it seems, i'm there whenever you're with me

But most of all,
You are my personal color.
A color no one could use or borrow
I'll use you yesterday, today, and tomorrow
And never get old.

In a sixty-four pack box,
You are my crayon.

I thought you'd be another one
Just another person who passed by
Dropped by to say hello
But no sir,
You are so much more

I found myself for the first time
Asking,
Begging for more
So why don't you come over with me
So I wont be so alone.

Do you trust me enough to tell me your fears?
Do you love me enough to make sure we'll never fall?
Do you see all the beauty in you?
The beauty of a man?
You're perfect to me darling.
Why dont you understand?

Will you be my Prince Charming?
My Aladin?
My Erick?
Or maybe my Peter Pan?
Or maybe we can start a new fairytale,
One about an everyday woman and man.

Staring you and me
In our troubled teens
With much to worry

Will these ever happen?
What are the chances it can come true?

Maybe i question myself to much.
Do you ever find yourself doing that to?

Words cannot describe,
What i feel at midnight.
Laying in bed,
Remembering the good-old-days in my head.

When you and me use to be we

When it was you and I
No one else on the side.
I want to be back in your arms
For you to hold me
Tell me I'm yours.

So why cant we break that door
And let me in once more?
I'll do better
Wont fall for another feller

'Cause all I need
Is for us to once again be we.

I saw you today.
Thought I would be okay.
But I wasn't.

Opened up to old math notes.
Your name written all over the pages.
Hearts filling up empty spaces.

I knew I'd see you in Spanish.
Awkward in there it was.
Why did we choose to sit next to each other?

I forgot how despairing it was to walk to class alone.
To have no one to hold.
Twitch at every sound of smooching.
Turn when you hear "I love you".

My hands so frigid.
My lips are deserted.
Why cant this feeling let me be?

I urn for the chance to wave hi.
To say it.
To look into your dark brown eyes.

Now I stare at you from a distance.
And I'm thinking, "Do you feel the same way too?
Do you feel so drained?
'Cause I know i do."

Whats your name again?
Hold on, how exactly did we meet?
You are just a stranger.
Why do you want me in your sheets?

Do I look like a *******?
Some *** toy for your enjoyment?
Well I'm not.
Sorry for your disappointment.

Sorry for having respect in myself.
Sorry you couldn't get me under your spell.

Now leave,
I say to you.
Leave girls my age alone.
You're nothing but a poor failure.
Stop acting like you're a king,
For you have no throne.

High school.
Emotions.
Acne.
Video games with more gore.
These are simple changes when being fourteen,
Not as important as being forty four.

Adults look at you like you're five.
Five year-olds look at you like you're an adult.
They say grow up, but enjoy being a kid.
They say take on responsibility, yet you're to young to go to the mall alone.

They'll ask if you have a boyfriend, if hes older, or why dont you have one.
They'll say boys are trouble, stay focused on school.

They'll ask if you're getting fat, or if you're pregnant.
They'll ask you to stop eating 'cause you're eating to much.
They'll ask if you're anorexic 'cause you didn't eat desert.
They'll say you don't need to diet when you ask for water and not a soda.

Maybe you should spend sometime with you're friends.
Maybe you should spend sometime more at home.
You just sit around all day!
You're always out!

You always help out around the house, thank you.
All you do is nothing! Help out around the house, please!

Grades are here!
A
A
A
A
A
..C

(engage rage mode)
HOW COULD YOU GET A "C"!
YOU SHOULD OF STUDIED!
THESE GRADES ARE UNACCEPTABLE!!!
NO MORE GOING OUT!!
NO MORE PHONE!!!
NO MORE COMPUTER!!!
NO MORE VIDEO GAMES!!
NO MORE DOOR!!!
NO MORE NOTHING!!!!!

All you do is study, why dont you go out with you're friends sometime?

* face palm