Twenty-four missed calls.
I should have picked up the phone.
I could have saved you.

How was I supposed to know your most beautiful words would be your last?

It's a shame they came in the form of an apology.
You could have reached out, I swear I would have taken your hand.
I would have stayed up all night to convince you it's alright,
that you don't ever need to hurt yourself.

But I guess you did what you had to do
in order to get back at me, and earn my final sympathies.

I wish I could have told you I loved you
or that I was trying in my own way.
But I guess that if you killed yourself,
that you already must have knew.

I am your panic room,
constant and
never changing.
You built me up
for when you're breaking.

I am your panic room,
your last resort,
but always here
when you decide you need me.

If you're not sure something is right for you anymore, end it.
Leave.
Whether it's a relationship, home, your job or the person you've become —
Just leave.
Nothing leads you down the right path better than missing something,
Or not missing it at all.

Last year was different.
We caught snowflakes on tongues that weren't bitter,
and we braved the cold with warm hearts.

Twelve months can change a million things.

It's taken me long enough,
But I know now that winter will always come back,
Even though I can't say the same of you.

I can't quite relate to
breakup songs
because you tried to leave
in more ways
than one.

I can't quite relate to
the best of poems
because you burned the pages
in more ways
than one.

I can't quite relate to
a widow
because you didn't succeed
in more ways
than one.

I can't quite relate to
myself, anymore.
because
you were
the one.

In between. That’s what I’ve always been.
In between jobs, in between destinations. In between breaths, heartbreaks — myself and what I want.
Never quite there yet, never too far gone.
Just in between.

That’s the problem with people.
They don’t realize that they exist outside of their own little worlds.
When you broke my heart, did you realize the sound of your voice was already embedded into my memory?
When you kissed her right in front of me, did you know a whole universe collapsed inside of me?

Did you care?

Get to where you need to be,
before what you need to be
catches up to where you are.

Alive people are a lot worse
Than dead people.

The dead are finally at rest
While we spend our time
Trying to be.

"Go with the flow,
Love will show the way."
Just a few of the many
things you might say.

But how would I know?
You're nowhere to be seen.
If love will show the way,
then where the hell have you been?

I wanted to show you my mess
In hopes that you might clean it up.
I wanted to show you my dreams
In hopes that you might believe in them.
I wanted to show you my life
In hopes that you might not leave it.

I wanted to show you, but instead you showed me that

I wanted to show you my mess
In hopes that it might inspire you
I wanted to show you my dreams
In hopes that you might share some
I wanted to show you my life
In hopes that we could have one together.