Deafening,
the sound of your tears are piercing me.

I spend every last second of my life
digging through your head
to unbury what you try to keep hidden.
I know that you're hurting -
let me fix you.

Each day of December is one spent waiting
for something new to come along
and compensate for the year I've had.

Here comes another year,
but right now we're all taking shots,
and kissing people we won't remember tomorrow.
As the clock strikes midnight,
everyone in the room is glowing.
Hopes and dreams are renewed again,
but all I can do is reflect on 365 days I failed.

Happy new year,
all the people I love are excited to begin again.
But today is just another day to me,
another day of December.

It's hard to celebrate new beginnings
when every day is spent waiting for one.
If you need me, I'll be in December
still trying to salvage what I left there.

Oh, I want to tell you. Believe me, I do.
I want to tell you how much it all hurts,
and how I hear your heartbeat in the chorus of every song.
If I could only reach the depths of your mind you never let me touch
we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.
I want to scream at you, trust me, I do.
I ache to let my rage reign at full capacity,
and give you hell that burns eternally.

I'm afraid if I let these words marinade in my hatred,
I'll become far too bitter a person.
And what if your taste never leaves my lips?
I want to ask you.

Here we are, though.
I'm not speaking, screaming, and certainly not asking.
I'll drown my sorrows in something shameful,
and pray you care to save me.

Leave me where you dropped me, like litter in the boulevard.
You're just another passer-by,
who sees my home in the dirt.
Pretend it wasn't you who made the mess, if it helps you sleep tonight.
I suppose I'm disposable,
now that I've been used.

Get to where you need to be,
before what you need to be
catches up to where you are.