Cue the ever-prominent darkness;
Wake up in night, and feel the chill
Of snow and of stress
Resting on the window sill.
Feel it all around you;
This giant contradiction
Of happiness and tears.
You never spoke, but always knew
Of the below-zero affliction
That covered you in frost each year.

Cue the endless strings of lights;
Let the trees and houses glow
But it’s all an effort to block out night;
This you hate, but this you know.
Fear of midnight skies only rises
When snowflakes start to fall
And time seems to slip away;
We get by with our harmless disguises,
Forcing our minds away from it all
Until we wake to the light of day.


Cue the tray of hot cocoa;
Pair it with a candy cane
The warmth is sweet, but it is faux
And the mint walks you down memory lane.
But you don’t want to remember
No, you don’t want to relive innocence
You can’t go back to your Santa Claus days
For you want to love December;
You live the month with wistfulness,
But you cannot ignore the pain.

I woke up with a headache again today.
This time because I knew
you didn't want to stay.
It's strange how words repeat themselves.
And no matter how much I thought
it couldn't all be for nothing,
I guess it was.
But that's okay.
I'm used to this place.
At least I know I won't
ever let anyone else in again.
It's just easier than losing
something you never had.
How foolish of me to think
I could ever be what you wanted.
You'll always deserve oceans;
I'm sorry that I am only rain.
And no matter how much I give,
I will never be enough.
You say you don't feel the same
as you used to, and that's okay.
At least you love me enough
to tell me you don't.

Gazing past my somber expression
etched upon the windows reflection.
Silently observing the snow's caress
soft, fragile, cold, much like myself.
 
Kinship is shared,
as I gaze out from my window,
observing them cascade,
caught in a moment of limbo.
 
I, just an insignificant snowflake,
weak, insubstantial, easy to break.
Diminished by even the softest touch,
transforming, melting, to lamented sludge.
 
Many will cast eyes upon my silent fall
but with a millions others, I am too small.
Tranquilizing, a melancholy presence,
lethargically dropping in evanescence. 
 
Some may glance and discover elegance 
but rarely can they withstand my elements.

They forgot to tell you it's not always easy,
that just because the ocean seems so
calm at night
doesn't mean it doesn't ache
for morning.
They forgot to tell you it takes time,
that weeks may feel like hours
and months may feel like years.
That it only grows deeper in patience
and stronger in absence.
They forgot to tell you it speaks louder
in silence than it ever could in words,
that it listens closer when my hands
talk to yours,
that it lives inside your bones,
and not inside your heart.
They forgot to tell you it makes you
weak at the knees,
and strong in the head.
That it can fill every broken crack,
and heal every open wound.
They forgot to tell you it will leave scars.
They forgot to tell you that you can
give it all away without ever having
it given back to you.
They forgot to tell you that is okay.
They forgot to tell you that memories
don't fade away.
They forgot to tell you that it hurts.
They forgot to tell you what it means.
I'm here to tell you that it's worth it.
I'm here to tell you that you're worth it.

Sometimes I wonder if you ever think of me and, if so,
How you manage to brush me from your thoughts
And dream of someone else (I know I never could).
Vagrant minds procure no solace but in love, and
Only in its fair requital. Alas...
Nothing’s ever meant so much to me.
No one’s ever occupied my mind for
Every passing moment of my empty days.