Finger to lips
Icing to lick
Smiles come with drips

Heavy words can be syrup or iron ores
Either way they are anchors

Never mind creed
Love can feel like a chore

I got my hang ups
I got my fists
Hanging on to phrases that chap my lips
And destroy my finger tips


People should point at something
Like they are certain

I thought I would by now have to rely on one person
Only human nature to count on
Like a ******* I want my cake too
No icing left
I need something new

Walk under the trees,
Look up to see me

Clouds are majestic eye to eye,
But it feels better to stand tall

Look at the lines in your palms,
There is no adrenaline rush if you don't fall

I've got a dream to believe
Not treble clefts inked sleeves

Though I am someone you want to appease
You don't have dirt on your knees

Though I am everyone and everything
Alter egos exist

Choose me or find your name on my
On our
No, on  his
On Lucifer's list

Got up to turn the pages
Let up so I can burn my wages

I spend time like Its money and I am a Forbes CEO

Just when I think I can supersede myself the confusion begins to glow like an expected sunset on the drive home

I smile at an elderly woman leaving a tacky hotel wedding in a wheelchair, cheap dress draped with an oversized man's coat

It's cold in Philly
And the sharp bending wind whips my soul

Like a favorite eerie  movie I inevitably watch again we fight on the phone and you say it's everything that I've done

I sit down with my coffee and smoke a cigarette

I don't gamble with numbers - but the chances I get

Far away in a jet soon to tel aviv
banks' charge conversion rates for currency

the door opens and closes
the places my heart goes when I remember you have to say yes before you can learn to say no

Your reassuring hands
Hands of almost strangers
Your rapid steps
Decided problem solving in the midst of task loading
No barriers except my new friends protecting me like I was in every family photo
I didn't even know you were alive and had names six weeks ago
I will not be able to explain to my own family or loved ones, much less, to anyone
how you a Jewish red head,
a southern brunette,
and a Chinese  girl have treated me like I was your own blood after knowing me for a month.
This isn't a poem
This is just one person absorbing my recent experience
They said that  we would be bonded for life
I know they are right
We are the lucky ones

My sentences are forming on the remaining rusting hinges of over exersion
Awake - if my open eyes  and rote memory skills constitute my presence than I was with you guys for the last 14 hours

Please go now

Too many people in my room

Conversations strangling the beauty of a human voice

No wonder we like a talented vocalist so much

One person discovering the pinnacle of their unique interpretation of sound with emotion

Such a delicate process to find the balance that other people can escape into
Tonight there is nowhere to escape to


Instruments and a quiet place I can write- a rich palette to draw from -
interpret -
I really do hope this something I believe in is worthy
- I'm not sure I will ever be a mother but I have projects manifesting inside me-
their slow birth and evolution is fulfilling
Although ...
tomorrow.... I won't remember writing this, but ill sweat the subliminal loneliness that comes with a practical and self sufficient artist's patience.
Surly and divided
decidedly sweet,
you'll see the smiling me rush through the hallways
Are you spinning yourself in the echoes of many girls with  high heels on?

Cross over the current
First sunshine is sweet
Melting the perimeters of the week day's bleak-
Unforeseen boredom
King pin of the worse men
Chess pieces go flying off the overturned board
You are the headless horseman
You the controlled one
Parodoxically manipulating the reigns

Sunshine is gruesome heat
Make it to the shoreline and scrutinize your bludgeoned feet
Condemned carvings of ivory pieces waiting on you to cheat

Hotel room a/c fans faded red curtains
Lamp shade mutes the generic glow
Side stepped your way into something so certain
A dance no one  means to learn
Yet,  everybody knows

Yeah, you used to want something and you lost it in your lover's eyes
Fatal to acquiesce
No you can't acquire the original wonder you gifted him the year he said good- bye

You were too young to fathom
Now the monopoly houses in the suburbs look like geriatric wards

Easy blueprints to dispise
Cheap siding to realize

You dream of nothing
Your thoughts aren't your own

I promise that I won't wait
There is nothing I would change
The parts of me that I don't know
City to city
Continents and languages
One  woman alone
I promise you nothing

P.s. you can have my bones