give her your blessing
be happy for her, truly

when the sun and moon
meet, there is no fight for
the ocean. Somewhere
across the Atlantic is a
toddler walking back to
a parking lot; premature
fingers holding onto her
father because that is
what she was taught to
do. With the other, she
is pointing to warmth,
I do not know why. But
here, you are an aging
man, gazing at the tide
coming and going, that
is not a song you sing.
Give her the luck, you
do not know how to use.
All the goodness and
all the virtue you thought
drowned with the alcohol.
be happy for her, truly.

because when the sun
and moon meet, there
is no fight for the ocean.
Because when the sun
and moon meet, she
knows its time to go.

we always worry
who says "hello"
first

holding our breaths
at our white phones
in front of a tsunami,
ocean waves like
bear claws or
shark teeth, i stand
like a dandelion
and I take a step
forward, toward
everything yet no-
thing, because this
is a fragment of the
atlantic, this is left
over shreds of un-
loved tides, I walk
because if i take a
step and you push
me back, or if i take
a step and you pull
me toward aisles of
blue cigarette ash, I
know more than I
ever did just standing,

Till the moon comes back
I am not your friend, your lover
I will not comfort you
I will be a stranger

And till the sun is down
I will not love you

I will distract myself with things
Like work and friends
Lie that we are over
That it has come to an end

And when the moon is finally home
I will give you my thoughts, my bones
Jinx everything good to me
Everything left from the shipwreck
And everything survived from the hurricane

Because when the moon is back
When he finally appears again
Everything is worth the risk

And yet I sit on the train
Seeing specs of your freckles on an old mans cheek
I see your awkward figure on the teenage boy
Who adjusts his bones to fit the edges of the seat
So perfectly
Like you used to
I notice your hands on an ad for soda or gum
And I catch your sarcastic humor downstairs when I pick up the mail
And your tendency to take in the city when we walk on broadway
The naive look in your eye
The lift of your cheekbones
I see that everywhere
On faces I do not remember
And bodies so meaningless
Sometimes, I feel your spine again on people who I do not love
And I think of how
I would place my hands on you
you would not flinch
as if my palms were meant to fit on your back
I keep choosing to remember you everywhere I go
Because
Even though it's everywhere, all the time
That still is
not
enough

over, like our childhood
on the swing set of before
if I could choose a moment back
I don't know if I'd pick my finger tips reaching for the clouds or

when you turned your smooth spine over
and you opened your eyes
and told me you want every 2:15 AM to be like this night
just over
and
over

our bodies were like shoe strings
tied and knotted
not fitted
but held
and I'm scared I'll never find someone who can love me the way you did

like the way my oversized hands feel on the rust of a swing set now
nothing has changed except everything

when you held me that night
I reached my hands out to your back
my finger tips ran through your spine
and i wonder if this is what clouds feel like
or forever
or getting something back
when you thought it was over

With you, I have forgotten how to love.
Would you believe me if I said there was once a time where I knew?
Where I knew how to slide my fingers into the spaces of someone else's,
Where I could hint how much I love you in the pauses of my sentence,
Would you believe me if I said there was once a time I knew?
When to give up, when to keep fighting
But with you, everything seems to be confusing
You spin me around, always leaving me dizzy
And I fall into the spaces you always give me,
Would you believe me if I said I've never known to how to love
Because they've never worked out, and this is no longer "practice"
You are as perfect as the curves of the moon
You are the northern lights of my lonely nights  
You are not the sun, or the far stars you can never tell apart
You are special
And nothing in my life could've taught me how to love you
I love you