Sink to the bottom,
Stones crashing,
Flowers blooming,
Gasping for air,
Struggling to break free,
Birds chirping,
Warm afternoon sunshine,
Lungs scream for oxygen,
Head spinning,
Light fading,
Cars passing,
Bees buzzing,
Lifeless corpse,
Forever gone.

Sleepless sorrow,
Deafening agony,
Crippling brutality,
Grasp it's soul,
Pulling under the moistened pavement into the forgotten bumps and cracks,
Break thy hope.
Shatter the stare with malicious chatter,
Each droplet adds another bone to split,
Crumpling what is left,
Leaving but an emotionless corpse,
Forever gawking at imaginary friends.
Stuck in her own tomb,
In between worlds.
Failing to reach any higher magnitude.

Oh where did my prince go?
The man I fell so hard for,
He stole my heart
Opened my mind,
And freed my soul.
My prince left me in the tower
He slayed the dragon but forgot the princess.
Oh where is my beloved prince?

An angel in disguise
A hidden sickness
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust

Left alone to perish
A wingless angel lost her way
Fighting forever
Hope slowly fades away
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust

The emptiness took over
Consumed her soul
Lifeless eyes
Fading hair
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
Left broken and ******

This angel lost her way
Aimless circles , enclosing darkness
Nowhere to turn
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust

A razor covered in a ****** secret
Lies developed hidden scars
A fake smile
A broken heart
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust

A forgotten angel
Left behind
Lifeless eyes
Broken soul
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

My mind is broken
My heart left to bleed
Empty and alone you left me to face the horrors of my life

Suffering sadness,
Trapped in your own dillusional sense of a fictional reality,
Created by a minipulative enabler,
Every bump,
Scratch,
Pain,
Hive,
Belly ache,
Sore throat,
Something more then what is.
False accusations turn into a desperate desire to develope a deeply fatal disease.
Harmful self punches and bites,
Create bruises on your body.
Lies.
Everyone a false ****** up mistake.
Not a **** up, but severely ****** up.
Dismissing the only one who saw through the ******* and still loved you.
The only one who helped you.
The only one who tried to make you see.
Not a friend.
But to you, just an immature drama queen.
Why fight for a back stabber?
A liar?
Someone who has never been there for me when I needed you most.
Inconsiderate.
The opposite of love is indifference,
To hate is to feel emotion.
No hatred.
Pity.
I pity you.
You will be forever alone.
No one will stand by you as I stood by you.
All will see through the *******.
Once they see,
No one will stay.
You have no one.
I feel sorry for you.
Sorry.
Sorry.

Lost in a pit of despair
Looking in retro spect
Should have changed the sequence of motions I neglected to face
Avoiding the signs
Pretending
Scheming
Forgetting
Remembering a moment too late
Seconds
Minutes
Hours
Countless hours spent
Searching for the right melody to sing
To play
To listen and speak
Fighting the loosing battle
Nothing but weak
Pathetic and helpless
A joke
So full yet so empty
So warm yet so cold
So understanding yet so ignorant
Silence
Keep quiet
Fake a smile
Share a laugh
Hoping that one day
Maybe one day
This will all be a dream
Fake and unreal
What is it?
Unspeakable force weighing on your shoulders
Controlling your mind
Speaking your thoughts
Is it you?
Does it make up who you are?
Who are you?
A whisper?
A secret?
Kept locked away brewing and boiling every minute it is ignored
Constantly fighting to break free from the cage so well built
Yet so collapsible
So broken
The battle will never be won
This entity will never be overcome
Outgrown
Forgotten
The shadow creeps close behind
Barely touching me
Yet I can feel the presence
I can feel it grow stronger every day
And every day I feel the darkness spreading
Creeping through each layer
Breaking through every door
Stalking
Lurking
Capturing
Controlling
Loose who you are
What you are
Where you are
How you are
The girl you once knew
Now a pathetic shadow of what use to be good
Blood turned sour
Spirit starting to rot
Happiness eroding away
Drifting off into the sea of empathy
Down the vortex of black
Crumpled up and thrown away
Memory haunts her
Day after day
Living each lie
Each worthless second in her miserable life
Worthless and alone
She closes are eyes
Waiting for the constant thumping to cease
And for the battle to be lost.

Flash. Freeze and stop time. Open the door left slightly ajared, and glance into our past. Peer into my memories, my moments, my seconds all spent in your arms; I will never forget. Early conversations, short and unmeaningful. Never giving dismissed flickers of emotion a second thought. Lost in time, consumed by envy, I never tended to the seed planted inside my soul.

Days collide together, morphing into one continuous loop dragging on forever. Walking in a robotic fashion, I filled the vacant space in my heart with bitterness. The walls built inside my heart stood tall, laid out brick by brick; each one tells a story. So much ugliness lived inside of me, growing like a cancerous cell, constantly multiplying and taking over consuming every part of me. Cutting off my view from the rest of the world. Trapped in my own mind, the door bolted shut from my own insecurities and selfishness.

I always looked through you, just another face in the sea of people I had to deal with on a daily basis. My gratitude concealed in the deepest part of my mind.

Flash. Fast forward and freeze. Watch the seasons change and the tide retreat. Birds sing sweet songs of joy, basking in the early spring sunshine. Flowers bloom with excitement, and dance in the whistling wind.

Every glance, every word spoken by your benevolent smile creates a staggered heart beat. Warmth radiating through every nerve with each thump. Chills traveling down my spine. A change of heart.

You taught me to smile, to breath, to live, to grow, to love, and care. To care for, to communicate with,  to express myself. Forever thankful for everything I have learned.

Take my hand and whisk me away high above the clouds to our world. Wrap yourself around me promise to never let me go. Catch me if I fall, lift me back up. Believe in me to help me believe in myself.

The truth is lying in our blood. Hand in hand, heart in heart, mind in mind. Swelling devotion with an irresistible force pushing me closer to you every day.

I refuse to fight these long forgotten feelings anymore. Everything I am and ever was lies in your smile. My well being lies in your delicate touch. Your eyes see right through me, yearning to protect me. There is no one else to share, be my world and ill be yours. Trust me and I'll do the  same. Be my one and only do not share, put all you have into me and I will mirror your actions.

Paranoia something I can't shake,
In a room alone someone has their eyeballs on me.
Cautious, courageous, careful bravery,
I glance around behind me then again to see who was there.

Always being watched ****** down,
Consumed by the unidentified source,
Why do the eyes stare so intently?
Deep passed my outer appearance,
Peering into my well hidden past,
Thoughts resurfacing.

The intensity of being stared at,
No one to tell to look away,
All I think about,
All I feel,
All I know,
Bing watched every second of the day
****** into my own demention of paranoia.

Such a simple action leads to such an extensive mistake.
An action of pure love led on by desire and lust,
Collision of raw emotions,
Confusing thoughts,
Twisted tounges speaking laughable excuses,
A long never ending twisted road lies ahead,
Lives eternally changed.
There is no easy way down the treacherous path,
People will end up betrayed,
Hurt.
Guilt.
No one to blame but themselves.
Two senseless lovers bonded together for a lifetime.

Embarrassed? No not the half of it,
Confused at the emotions twirling in her brain,
Feelings long forgotten,
Swelling devotion,
Gentle touch,
Smooth lips,
Irresistible force,
Attach her forever,
Stay with her always,
Meaningful glances; unbroken promises,
Cradle her with care,
Catch her when she falls,
Don't let her hit the ground,
Lift her up,
Soar her to the sky,
Fall for her blue eyes ,
Mend her broken heart,
Fix her up make her feel beautiful,
To be wanted,
To be loved,
And to love,
And to want,
To need and care,
Forever entangled in your arms.

Feel your soul leave,
And your body crack,
Feel the air rush away,
And feel yourself drop.

Stone cold hard ground,
Shockwaves ripple through your entire body,
Clashing and bouncing off the walls on the inside,
Not a single breath can be taken.

Pain radiating throughout each blood vessel,
Every muscle screaming in agony as you will yourself to move,
Not a sound,
Not a flinch,
Just a frozen corpse,
Her soul slowly draining away,
leaving an empty shell of nothing.

What is reality?
Is it in the sky?
The whistling wind?
The whispering trees?
Or is it the voices that speak to me?
Ever so softly in the dead silence of the night
Dancing in the wind
Swaying to the silent music
Sweet voices sharing knowledge and helpful suggestions
Dreaming of a world where no harm is done
Wake up
With each passing second the soothing voices grow louder
Suggestions become questionably dangerous
Hinting on what they want to be done
What they want to finish
Walking backwards
Crooked head
Wide open eyes
Listening to the echoing silence waiting for the next word
Aggressive commands
Yelling and screaming
Bouncing off the cranium walls
Shrieking what they demand to be taken care of
Won't stop....

Won't stop
WONT STOP
Won'tstopwon'tstopwon'tstop
Circling and over lapping they continue
Chaotic noise fills the overwhelming silence that is reality
Too far gone
Pathetic attempts to cease the faceless demons
Run
Hit
Scratch
Scream
One way out:





Do what we say...



Think what we think...



WE are your reality now.

Feel what others can merely hear,
Feel the devotion start to grow with in,
Let your motivation be your inspiration.
Let go.
Break free and fly along the wings of gratitude.
Feel each beat with in,
Feel your heart race to the perpetual motion with in the song.
Hold on to what little is left,
Feel the song rise up inside you,
increasing and building higher and faster each second.
head spinning,
muscles tensing,
teeth revealed in an excited smile; you know whats next.
stop, quick freeze.
and
drop.
all that you know
all that you are
all that you hoped for
all that you feel
all that you held on to
all the feelings that grew within
explode from each and every nerve,
blasting out in every possible motion.
get up
free yourself from the cage that bonds you in reality.
explode with the chaotic ball of energy that was stored,


dance.

They say what goes up must come down right?
what happens in the middle then?
one simple harmless action,
creates a domnio affect that spirals out of control,
it swirls them dragging them in all sorts of directions.
Life is not simply horizontal or vertical,
it is sideways,
backwards,
circular,
diagonal,
and every angle in between.
How can someone be so high up,
yet fall to the bottom in the blink of an eye?
Is it possible there is more to it then one can merely see?
Maybe there is more to the issue at hand,
who keeps themselves trapped in the on going circle of confusion.
Why is there no answer to these complications that have been drawn out for years?
Why is the secret kept under lock and key?
Why is it so easy to feel so much,
yet so painful to express it in words?
Why is loneliness so powerful?
*Why?

The setting sun revels darkness,
Stop and freeze time,
Listen to your heart,
Fight through the battle,
Embrace the beauty of the world.

Tick tock,
Time keeps going,
Never stopping to give a break,
Fight through the tears that rip open your soul,
Leaving a steady stream of sadness to pour out,
Never ending.

Gradually fall back into this existence,
Another circle of hell,
Another day of silence,
Forced to face because of fate.

Fate keeping you alive,
Destiny keeping you hopeful,
Hope keeping you strong.

When all else seems broken,
Believe in the beauty of the setting sun.

An inkling that stirs deep within,
A feeling I can't quite ignore,
An uneven heartbeat
Sends warmth all throughout my body with each thump,
Butterflies that won't stop fluttering,
Saying your name send shivers down my spine,
A smile crosses my face.
Everything I am and ever was lies in your smile,
My well being lies in your delicate touch,
Your eyes see right through me,
Yearning to protect me,
Pleading to show me what it's like to be loved.
My heart is useless if it cannot love you,
There is no one else to share,
Be my world and ill be yours,
Trust me and I'll do the  same,
Be my one and only do not share,
Put all you have into me and I will mirror your actions.

Love takes the soul to another land,
Love captivates the mind and takes the heart prisoner.
Love is filled with joy
Love causes sorrow
Through kisses and flowers
Lies and deceit
Love kills
Love saves
Love sings
Love mourns
There is everything
Then nothing
Love is in the air
Love is in the moon and stars
Love is inevitable
Love demands
Love sacrifices
Love is a blooming flower
Love is a thorn
Longing and searching
Slowly fading to nothing
There is love one minute
And despair the next
Je vous aime aux étoiles,
je vous aime à la lune,
j'aime pour la vie.

Expressionless,
What words lay dormant behind the twisted tounge?
What answers are spoken silently?
What mutilated, misunderstood lies flow through the brain and lay dormant beneath the cracked surface?
Agony.
Pure hope shattered by one simple word.
To climb so high up the never ending *****,
Only to fall and crash down to the bottom again.
Why?
Physically fit and successful,
So much is still kept hidden.
Stored away in the darkness, as the overwhelming sensation spreads.
Engulfing flames consuming all that was left of her mending soul.
Expelling sobs start deep within and seem endless.
Desperation to break free from the winding tunnels.
Left to wander in the darkness,
Never able to escape the magnitude of pure and utter agony.

The boy in the back,
2nd row down 2 seats in,
Brown hair green eyes,
False love at first sight.
Lazy days spent together,
Nesseled on the small couch,
Lies told,
Secrets kept,
Money stolen,
Drugs used.
The star crossed lovers split,
Aquaintences to friends,
Friends to lovers,
Lovers to enemies.
Who knows what will become of the boy in the back.

The boy with the untold story,
A hidden secret,
Behind closed doors the secret unfolds,
What lies behind the door no one knows,
Lost loves,
Fighting battles,
Saluting Sargent,
Strong, independent, gentle heart,
What secret lies dormant?
What secret captivates this boys soul?
Dragging darkness,
Broken hearts,
Clean slates,
Untold stories,
Secrets hidden behind his majestic blue eyes.
Secrets no one knows.

Oh tiny vessel,
Helpless and misunderstood,
Didnt think of the consequences,
Acted on impulse.

Oh sleeping angel,
A beauty in the eye of the beholder.

Oh child of mine,
Where have you escaped to?
Lost in the horror of the world.
Lies told to escape the prison that held her captive.

Oh victim i could have saved,
Woe is me,
A Flashing memory,
An empty couch,
A lifeless corpse,
Taken much too soon.

I should have saved you,
My heart beats for your absence.
Salvation that will never come,
No one caught you when you fell.
No one came to fill the void within your life.
Only your killer,
Murderer maybe,
A stranger,
A faceless man
Took you away.

Your spirit will forever remain,
The sorrow i feel,
The guilt i cannot face,
I am so deeply sorry,
For you,
For you family,
For your friends,

No closer,
The pain never ends,
Endless searching for the precious gem that was stored away.
Please forgive me.

Why is it every time I get ahead I just fall back down?
One step forward twelve steps back,
Why everytime I feel a glimpse of contentment,
I end up crushed?
A wrecking ball to the chest
Knocking me back
Taking my wind
Crippling me with terrible force.
To say you broke my heart doesn't do the pain justice.
Crushed me
Mangled my body into pieces that will never be whole again.
My littlest kin
Why?
Who are you?
The mask you wear shields what you use to be
I remember the conversations
Hours spent teaching you
Coaching you
You, so eager to learn and willing to accept every aspect of my religion
Jah was good to you
Is this the same girl?
The one spitting at my face?
Yelling? Hitting ? Pushing?
Terrible things said send daggers of pain to my heart
Every thump sends shreds of glass through my veins and out my extremities
Only to circle back inside
Endless cycle.
I miss who you use to be
I am loosing faith
When do I walk away?
When do I say it's time to go?
Now.
Now I am done.
Now is enough.
I've held on for so long
The rope has finally snapped.
Things will never be the same.

Little girl alone in the woods
Torn dress ****** hands
Black eyes soulless stare
With unspoken words
She tells a story of how she came to be
Once a salesman's daughter,
A dark secret kept every night.
A horse and buggy ride that ended in ******,
A crazy child with a knife, they would say.
The unspoken part tells the story.
The dark secret that could be kept no more,
An evil action committed too many times to this little girl.

The words leave my fingertips like a running faucet
Ideas flow from my brain like a stream
I loose myself in the words
Lost in my own reality
Not thinking
Not hearing
Not seeing
Go on instinct
Let the words take over your senses
Writing sooths the broken soul

Forget what you believe,
I am nothing.
Try to comprehend my feelings,
I am unstable.
Your words send daggers through me,
I am useless.
Lies and outbursts of confusion and anger,
I am lost.
You leave me,
I pushed you away.
You let me fall,
I believed your words.
You never caught me,
I crashed down.
Abandonment.

Across the dark sky a glimmering light appears,
A small little glimpse of hope reveals itself,
Slowly the light grows stronger and brighter
Illuminating the darkness,
Draping the black with brilliant white light.

February,
Love is in the air,
Giddy with excitement,
New feelings form,
The heart tricks the brain,
In love with the idea of falling for someone,
Is it worth it?
Setting yourself up for pain?
Is it real?
No.
Hopeless romantic blinded by valentines day

What is equality?
But an eight letter word,
Shot down by pathetic attempt to make it real.
What is used?
Who can stop the ominously eerie sky from encroaching on a once beautiful legend?
Left behind to face dispair,
Constant thoughts and motions releasing explicit actions and words for the world to see.
Gaze upon the broken,
Push the weak,
Stomp on the hopeless.
Watch them break and shatter one last time.
Disintegrating dust gets lost in the wind,
Slowly moving to the back of a faded memory.
Just another face lost to the long forgotten sorrow.

Breath and release,
Senses open wide,
You see the world for the first time,
The colors and sounds blind you,
The beauty of it all leaves you breathless.
You stand there dumbfounded by this new feeling,
Not knowing what to do or what to look at,
Each step is a step toward a greater magnitude,
Something so magnificent and mysterious,
It is impossible to fathom it.
The world extends far beyond what we see,
Endless turns and hallways,
Every vortex is a new dimension,
All the dimensions guided by the Eye,
We as people make up the doors and lock ourselves in,
Creating a whole world of our own,
Drifting further and further away from the One who leads us.
Take a trip with me,
Go on a journey to see,
All of the marvelous things yet to be discovered.

Color me softly,
Quick swift motions,
Drape the canvas; is alive.
Delicate rotations, layered up the atmosphere.
Enlightened senses scavenge for their next prey.
Illuminated by the ****** night.
Lost in ones own sense of security.
Stop the clocks, switch your steps.
Racing in the colors for all eternity.
The colors collect the fragments left behind,
Leaving but only one; shall perish.
****** below the ever lasting green; lost in tragedy.
Forgotten by the long past memories.
Attached to the gaping Black Sea,
Lost in the archaic fire,
Touched by the engulfing flames.
Forgetting movement in the sorrow.
Suffocation; crushed by the magnitude of hatred.
Winding roads never leading a path of peace.

Lonely sorrow,
I walk alone,
Scoraching heat,
Melting what little flesh of memory i have left,
Firey stones lit up beneath my feet,
Sense of direction lost in the roasting wind,
No recelection of time not a thought from the past,
No hope for tomorrow.

Deny the words softly spoken by smooth lips,
distract yourself with meaningless tasks,
get your mind off the ravenous beast inside,
beating you from the inside out
taking you in an unbreakable grip
leaching himself on you,
******* you dry,
leaving an empty vessel of a once lively young girl.
Sorrow, pure agony,
push you down, far away.
loose track of yourself,
of himself.
of herself.
abandoning yourself,
leaving no clues to why,
gone in a flash.
broken dreams,
endless shadows,
never ending circles in a thick forgotten forest,
tie you down,
broken angels can't fly.

Turn back to a world not your own,
All alone, all alone.
A tale of twisted cities,
Spectrums of color and cherry pots.
Toes and thumbs,
No one to change a little cats ***.
Rag time with old friends,
Hey! There's that eye again!
Fleeting rhythms,
Scurrying in the house I loved,
Beach boats, cow hats, and swirling tattoos,
Please help this homeless man find his shoes.
Toast and butter  hold the toe nails please.
The meaning behind me you will never see,
Trapped in my own memory,
Take my hand and watch our world,
Colors explode never alone.
Tangled webs and best friends,
Who was that guy that parted the Red Sea?
Killed the guards, thou shall not ******,
No one else quite like me.

A simple thought takes over
Taking over your mind
Filling up your brain
Dancing around the thought of doing it
What if?
How?
Where?
When?
Writing down every last detail
Boxing up memories
Breaking hearts
Broken family
Lost their child
Killed herself
Wrote it all down
No one knew
No one thought
No one saved her.

Posses my mind feel through my body,
Unravel me with your touch,
Make me crumble under your unbreakable stare.

Feel me.

Sacrifice yourself to me,
Pull me closer,
Intertwine our bodies,
Awaken my senses make me feel alive.

Make love to me,
Like no one else has before,
Feel my love radiate off of me.
Absorb my emotions like a sponge.

Believe in me,
Trust us,
Show me how you feel.

A brief moment of light in the shadows of the world.

I love you.

A walk in the park,
A kiss on the check,
Sends ones heart spiraling away.
Hands intertwined,
Thoughts only on each other,
The rest of the world seems to melt away,
Only you,
Only him,
Drifting further into a dillusional paradise.

Wrong words were said,
Additudes clashed,
Fights broke out,
Gravity took over sending the lovers crashing back to reality,
Nothing good lasts,
Love gives false hope,
Only to ****** it away replacing it with shattered hopes and forgotten dreams.

Fate twisted and turned into what was instead of what is,
Feel the rocks beneath your feet,
Smell the dreadful sorrow coming from deep within,
Resist the compelling urge to fight back,
Accept the darkening clouds filling the sky leaving you empty,
Broken,
Alone.
Why do i suffer so?
All there is,
Pain.
All there ever was,
Agony.
Surrounded by dozens,
Yet so utterly alone in this.
Somehow i got lost along the way,
Forgotten and abandoned,
No one to listen to my cries.

I am,
Nothing.

I have not written in a while. My life is complete and filled with joy and happiness. I write when I am broken, and I haven't felt the need to write. I feel something coming though. Something locked away deep inside that needs to be set free. It will break out of it's cage soon, and when that happens be prepared for heart wrenching poetry straight from my mental break downs. Thank you all for your love and support.

-Amy John
P.L.U.R

Scavenge for information
Lied to protect her from the truth?
Or lie for your own selfish habit?
Faulty words,
Mistaken hearts,
Shattering dreams.
Drifting into space
Leaving this empty place of sorrow behind
Leaving the pain from the lies so easily passed through your lips
No regret once spoken
Own selfish comfort to keep this secret locked up.
Does it numb the pain
Does it help you through it?
Does it let you drown out the horrors of your past?
I have horrors too
We all do.
Where is my way out?
Where is my escape?
How am I suppose to deal?
Alone waiting
Watching
Waiting
Watching
Hoping for a scrap of information
A minuscule notion in the array of schemes brought upon the weak,
There is no leaving the hell hole I'm constantly ****** down
Rotting on the inside
Why am I the one who ends up broken
******
Bruised
Forgotten
Mangled in the struggle towards salvation
Despair
Lies.
Always.
Burn.

Stars in the sky,
dance around the moon,
radiating color,
illuminating the open world,
reveling all the secrets
opening the box of lies,
pain and betrayal lies inside,
whisper my name one more time,
ever wondering what can change?
twinkling lights,
spiraling swirels,
saving grace,
take me home.

It's not the past,
Is what could have been,
Not memories,
But thoughts.
Endless circles,
Stress shooting to every corner of my body,
Short breaths,
Not thinking,
Clear my mind,
Impossible to not think,
How  to end this.
Thoughts resurface of possibilities to cease this pain,
No trust for anyone,
No hope for the world
Lost in my own selfishness and sorrow,
Empty and alone,
Silent screams,
Unanswered prayers,
Begging people to help,
No one reaches their hand out,
Watch me fall,
Watch me loose to the darkness,
Giving up on this,
Giving up on them,
Giving up on me.

cross my heart i promise to love you,
i will take your pain and sorrow,
Forever by your side.

i feel the sadness and helplessness,
i will save you,
ill pull you back into the light,
be my world.

together forever and longer,
i love you to the furthest star and back,
you are my light and my reason,
i love you is simply not enough,
let me be the one to save you,
let me be the one you open up too,
let me love you.

Whisk me away,
take me in your arms and fly,
up to the stars and around the moon.
Take me away from this place,
be the one to save me.

Lift me out of the hole,
i've been trapped down here for far too long,
suffocating darkness extracting the light,
taking every last glimpse of hope.

With you i am safe,
you ignite the extinguished light that went out so long ago.
shower me in kisses and drown me with your love,
take me under your wing and love me for all eternity.

Remember when we use to hold hands and walk towards the sun?
Our illusion of love taking us higher away from reality.
Remember when we use to kiss?
Butterflies exploding from within,
Heart fluttering unevenly.
Remember how we use to laugh together?
Roll my head back and let it go,
Tears forming, stomach hurting.
Remember when you said you loved me?
Time froze, you took my face in your hands.
Mouth to mouth,
Soul to soul,
Both hearts beat as one.
A moment so breif,
Lingers forever with me.

I can't do it
I can't be the one you want me to be
I can't pretend like I'm okay
I can't continue to love you without it killing me
Slowly consuming me
Swallowing me whole
Draping me in a haze
I can't see
I can't hear
I can't think
The pain is too much
You have burned my heart
The sound of your name adds oxygen to the slowly burning embers
I am empty
I sink to my knees unable to breath
Through sobs and quick shallow breaths I whisper your name
The hole throbs sending piercing pain to each nerve
I curl up in a ball
The cold tiles on my back
Alone
Empty
Afraid
Heartbroken
You saved me
You burned me
You left me broken
And spit on my ashes
The pain I feel you will never know
A secret I keep from you as it consumes me
I am nothing
I am broken
I am alone.
Alone.

Thoughts and actions,
thoughts lead to actions,
colors and swirrels of memories,
memories of thoughts that could have been changed,
actions that could have been avoided,
dwelling on past expierences,
wishing for a change that will never come.

Just another melody,
A sweet song of sorrow,
Sing to me oh sweet lover,
Sing your tune of sadness,
Share with those who will listen.

Those who do not believe do not exist,
Those who do not exist are the ones worth fighting for.
Believe in what is and feel the fatigue from carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Sing your song,
Sing it loud,
Let others know where your heart lies.

Your deepest secrets,
Fears faced,
Lies told,
People hurt,
Lovers lost.

Fails attempts never making any progress,
Oh sweet boy,
Sing your song,
Tell your tale.

My dear friend,
Here we go again,
Running in circles down the never ending path of arguments,
Words chosen hurt my heart,
Confuse my mind,
And send ugly thoughts back.
I know under the rough exterior lies a good soul,
Too much love for one person but hidden under a hard shell of lies and hate.
Pushing people away is an action I will never understand,
Although we bicker and say things we don't mean,
You are forever in my heart and nothing will ever change that.

Forget about what is
Think about how you feel,
Uncertain feelings become more then they should be,
Hearts collide with fire works in the background.

What happened? What changed?
True love never dies,
****** back down by an evil force,
Choked, hit, slapped, abused.
Look passed that. You love her.

Left me in the dust,
Another one gone,
Building up the walls even higher,
None can get in.
No one will get in.
Not again.