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1.4k · Nov 2013
Letter XVI
Amy Gates Nov 2013
I'm willing to risk it
I'm willing to risk everything because
I can't hold it in
Because I love you
I've already lost you
What more can I lose?
I've lost the only person I think I will be able to love
And the only thing I'm trying to do is get through to you
That no matter how far you push me, I will be waiting...
Maybe, waiting wont get me anywhere
And maybe I will miss out on a huge part in my life
But I don't feel like I used to...
Happiness isn't the same anymore...
People might say I am crazy and I will agree with them, I am crazy!
I would never wish anyone would feel this way but I'm so glad that I fell in love with someone and I am glad that it was with you
We didn't have the perfect relationship or even close to a stable relationship but it was real
It was amazing to feel something new with you day after day
It was amazing to fall more in love with you from day one and even till now
It's the greatest gift
This may be cliche, hell I know it's cliche but that's the world we live in, a world full of cliches
People play out the words like "love" "admire", and all the things you hear and see in the media about this presupposed  love, but I do love you and admire everything about you
I miss everything about you.
I miss the taste of your lips, the touch of your hands, the sound of your laughter, the way you look while you sleep, the wrinkles on your nose when you get mad and much more. I miss spending time with you, being around you, just watching movies and tv through the night, going places with you, and I especially miss having the privilege to spend time with you.
I want to tell you this, and yes I am scared.
I know you don't want to talk to me nor even acknowledge my existence anymore.
You told me to move on and I told you I would try and yes, there were also times when I told you I did, but I didn't.
How could I?
I love you and it will always be you. I don't know what it is and how you got me under this deep spell but in all honesty I don't want to ever break out of it.
I do hope you are happy, but I also hope you feel as miserable as I do every time you think of love, I hope you get sick to your stomach when you see people in love because I do.
I do feel miserable and I do get sick to my stomach because I miss that feeling that I use to have with you and I get jealous.
I admire you, yes.. in all honesty, I do!
I love you and I love the fact that I love you.
Every time I try to hate you I hate myself and I start feeling guilty because I am reminded of the fact that I promised you forever and I promised that I will wait for you.
My love, I wish you would see this and read it.
I wish you would inhale these words and hear my soul.
I want you to feel what I am spilling out in every inch of your veins. I want you to imagine me in front of you, saying this to you, but I want you to give me a chance to speak. I want you to let me hold your hands for the last time if it ever might be. I want you to have the heart to give me just ten minutes to honestly pour out my heart to you. But I also want an honest answer and a reply from you. Just know that I do love you and I will always love you.
1.2k · Nov 2013
Pride
Amy Gates Nov 2013
The pride that you hide
That loneliness that boils inside
Keep that in mind
When you pass time
Amy Gates Nov 2013
Its like walking alone under the night skies/ Its like walking alone at night fall
Its like swimming alone when the tide is out/ Its like swimming alone when the tides out
* Its like skydiving without a parachute
* Its like having everything but missing something
Its like an endless journey to your heart
I don’t know when Ill make it there
But I feel like Im so close

I can feel you when I lay down at night
I can see you when I close my eyes

It may be a dream but Ill take that for now
Cause one day youll be here
And youll be mine
752 · Feb 2014
Obsession
Amy Gates Feb 2014
Want to know why I am so obsessed with you? It's because you made me forget about my painful first love, you made me realize that a person can fall in love more than once. You made me put my past behind me and helped me move forward. You gave me hope, the strength, and created a new space in my heart to care again. I know that you mean something to me because you are the last person on my mind before I fall asleep and the first person I think of in the morning. Not only that, I think about you through out the day. I crave for your attention, yet you act like I do not exist anymore. You ignited a spark in me and you abandoned me. I want you back in my life, I want you to fill this void up again, the one that you helped me create.
713 · Nov 2013
Do You Remember?
Amy Gates Nov 2013
Do you remember what it feels like to love?
Do you remember what it's like to love someone?
Do you remember what it feels like waking up and knowing that there is someone that will be there for you and even given the opportunity to fall asleep in there arms?
615 · Nov 2013
One
Amy Gates Nov 2013
One
Im gonna wipe your tears
& gonna heal your heart
Till the morning lights
I will hold you tight

Cause tonight
Im going to make you feel like youre worth while
And tonight
Im going to make you feel like youre one of a kind
574 · Nov 2013
Let My Words Be Enough
Amy Gates Nov 2013
Was my words not strong enough
Was it the way I put them together
Was it the way I said it
Why is it that you are gone
I told you that I loved you
I told you that it would be forever
I told you that youre my one and only
And now you left me, now im lonely
Was it when I said it
Was it not believable
Was it too cliché
Why is it that I am alone
I told you that I would never leave you
I told you that one day Ill marry you
I told you that I’d give up everything
And now you left me, now im lonely
488 · Nov 2013
Coffee & Cigarettes
Amy Gates Nov 2013
She's got coffee in one and a cigarette in her other hand
Eyes closed, slowly drifting away
Escaping the trouble that she is in
Heavy breathing,
Crushed hope,
Her eyes tear up
As she inhales the memories that replay
Are soon about to come to an end
As she exhales,
She lets out a loud cry
Begging someone to come to her rescue
439 · Nov 2013
For you
Amy Gates Nov 2013
You know that I love you because I mentioned it once.
It might have been a slight I love you but I meant it.
I want you to know that you are the one out of the million people out there that I want to share my life with.
I would stay by your side never leaving you behind.
I want you to be the one I come to at night and wake up to you in my arms.
I want you to run into my arms every time when ever you need someone to hold you tight.
I want to be the one that tells you that you are the most beautiful person every day and smother you with kisses and love.
I want you now an forever because I do love you.
435 · Nov 2013
Remember
Amy Gates Nov 2013
You can take back all the memories we made
You can take back all the photographs we took
I would trade everything that we once had to have you back in my arms

Not a day goes by when I don’t think of you
Every little thing that you use to say still replays in my mind
I wish I could turn back the hands of time

Remember our first kiss
Remember the first time you called
Remember all the things that use to make you smile
I didn’t know that one day you’d be gone

Now that you’ve left
Now that you’re gone
All my days are filled with nothing but depressing songs

You can take back all the gifts you gave
You can take back all the letters that you wrote
I would trade everything that we once had to have you back in my arms

Every time I prayed,
I prayed that He would change your mind
But now I’ve counted the days
And I guess you won’t be coming back

Remember our first date
Remember the first night we slept by each other’s side
Remember all the things that use to make you laugh
I didn’t know that one day you’d be gone

But now all I want is you to be happy
And if that means that I am out of the picture
All I can do is stand behind you and support you
Just remember, when you need someone
I will always be 2 steps behind you
401 · Nov 2013
Not Alone
Amy Gates Nov 2013
Life is beyond complications
Love is without a doubt confusing
They say we are all different
Yet, when it boils down to the end
We are all left in the same situations:
We all were once left behind,
We all had our heart broken,
We all lost someone we loved,
We all have the need of being needed,
and there may be other things in life that bring us to our lowest
But we have to remember that the only way to become stronger is to overcome these overbearing moments not alone but with someone who can help us move forward

Don't ever give up
Don't ever feel like you're not strong enough
But keep reminding yourself
That you are not alone

— The End —