One ton. Nope not quite. But it feels close.
Lying in bed with a rubber nose.
Box spring crashes because I’m too fat.
Now why would I want to live like that?
Medicine bottles laying on their sides
Do nothing for the way I feel inside.
Just give me some water and I’ll drown the pain
Nope, can’t do it. There’s my conscience again.
Restless, sleepless, tossing and turning.
This endless battle has my heart burning.
Apnea, deprivation,
My blood has no oxygenation.
I can’t sleep, I can’t stay awake
Why is my body involved in this quake?
Is this all my future beholds?
**** this **** of getting old.
You bet your *** I’m mad
Wouldn’t you be if this was the life you had?
The only things that keep me going
Are young, sweet and unknowing
Their lives are the peachy and oblivious kind
Wish I could remember when that was mine.

They say there is no try.
But it seems that's all I do.
Nothing is ever finished,
nothing ever comes through.
No job is too small,
no task is too big and yet I fail
to accomplish anything at all.
A list a million miles
of all that I have tried
is stained with drops
of the tears that I’ve cried.