My parents do not accept me.
Out of everyone that will compete against and hate me in this world it's sad to know my two creators aren't there behind me every step of the way.

First of all the media puts so much pressure on girls as it is to be perfect and skinny.
The last thing a teenage girl needs is more mockery and influence to me the Barbie doll girl with skinny thighs and flat stomach and no ***.

They aren't perfect yet they point out the imperfections in me. I can't be comfortable and myself at home.
I am not happy at school.

There is no haven for me. These bad feelings come and go, but their arrival and stay make my life hell.

They don't understand what I've been through. Maybe it's the pill that's made me gain weight. Maybe it's the poor choices I am faced when eating at school.

I am human. I am allowed to be upset.
Don't you dare tell me it's not right to get upset.

I don't know whether to stay at home or leave. Nothing feels right anymore.
That's when the pills help me. Maybe the right thjng to do it stop eating. Only water and fruit.

AM I ON THIS PLANET TO PLEASE OR TO LIVE? God please help me. Waheguru.

Was such a **** night
The end of a lot of things
I lost the respect of so many people
People judge me
I hurt someone I cared about very much
I cannot stop the tears
I did it because I wasn't feeling it anymore and that would be unfair for me to hide that
You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love me
You need to let go of me now
Where is my support system?
I have lost so many friends
Now I have little to none
I have lost you my best friend for reasons I claim as valid
Over everything I do sincerely love you
And I regret how I did things last night very much so

Love always,
Your best friend

frustrated beyond mars
same story different galaxy
trapped; an astronaut
super cautious, constrained
in a place with endless possibility

don't sweat the small stuff
but even the asteroids deserve contemplation

people pleaser
sugar addict
adventure seeker
nature freak
homebody in training
trying to find inner happiness

because depending on others for happiness is bs

currently lost in life
no place to go
nothing to do

trying to make everyone else happy
yet internally [depressed]

not worthless
simply out of place, a mismatched outfit

why do I constantly feel like crying
I am the one who did it
he is not the one to blame
during it I was annoyed, lying to everyone, guilty
hands are still stained with the juice of a pomegranate

now the weight has been released
so why do I feel so venerable
this is so unlike me, I hate it
I wasn't playing little submissive girl
it was a warm fleece blanket

but I guess I only can win mind games...

not games with the heart.

Feelings of loneliness
No one wants you
You come across as annoying to all
Obnoxious loudmouth

New friends only stay attracted for a few minutes
Can't be so bad

In time of need, everyone else is on their own track
Sitting alone in your room everyday
Trying to find inner satisfaction
Searching always.

Looking at others who are constantly surrounded
Asking yourself what's missing in you
No conclusions.

Eager for a new life, quickly approaching

Not living life to the fullest
Scared yet dying to rebel
Family first but fun not close to second

Who is really there for me?
Who out there values me for the person I am?

Scared of rejection yet rejecting everyone in sight

Jealousy is stronger than I am

I want you. Bad.
No strings attached would be ideal.

Why must I confine to these rules?
Who am I doing this for, I wonder

I dream of melting into the shores
just you me and mary
Not a care in the world, no one to please

Unfortunately this is a fight not worth fighting,
I'm sorry.

Confused, conflicted, contradicted
Nothing is going wrong
Yet nothing seems right

All I think about is you
It feels right but truly is the opposite
Unsure of my choices and actions
Yet dying to break loose and rebel

Emotionless yet full of feeling
Limp yet fighting
Angered yet calm
Loved yet lonely