amm: Favorites

Oct 2013 amm

III.

Oct 2013 amm

laura

III.

She found two packs of cigarettes hidden between binders in his backpack, and his ashtray full of cigarette butts. The cabinets were empty and the sink was full of dishes.

Her heart dries out, cracks. She can't cry out. She wants him to hold her the way he used to.

It won't stop raining. The city tries to overpower the sound of the kitchen clock ticking, but the paper walls and cellophane doors seem to amplify the incense of mother natures smoke still lingering in the air.

Chain-smoking cigarettes like a machine, he doesn't spare her a glance. There were bombs going off inside her chest, her ever-dormant chest, and she wonders if he's noticed yet. And she still hopes her words send telegrams to the farthest corners of his admiration.

She wants to be the cigarette that is ever present in his slim fine hands, and the smoke that fills, coils in his lungs.

Now whiskey goes down like fire,

and they went down

like buildings.

Sep 2013 amm

SOLIVAGANT

Sep 2013 amm

laura

SOLIVAGANT

I was convinced that boys- all loose shoes and leather palms- don't care for fragile girls.
The kind that etched lotuses onto weedy waists, lost in the tangle of fine bones and became a brush fire of flowing sentences.
Boys want to drive themselves into flesh and wide hips that swing in circles like a pendulum.
-
See, us fragile girls, we grew thick skin before permanent teeth.
Our skin bubbles with the mind-numbing cocktail of anger and sadness and guilt.
-

I'M NOT DONE BUT OH WELL - **

Sep 2013 amm

[untitled]

Sep 2013 amm

laura

[untitled]

I tried to stop thinking.

Maybe I was losing my identity; maybe what I ought to worry about, I decided, was where I was heading. What did I want to be, and who did I want to be with?

Both questions began to depress me.

The trouble is, I wonder if I really feel something, or if I imagine that I feel something. And if I really feel things, why am I always wondering if this is the way things really feel?

This was a black out poem that I did in my freshman year workshop.

Sep 2013 amm

[fragment: bones]

Sep 2013 amm

laura

[fragment: bones]

You’re beautiful but you’re dying, he told her.

I know, she said quite simply. And she knew.

~

She saw him in her mind's eye saying, "You are too sick for words," and then he would push a button and she would disappear into thin air.

"You’re transparent."

And she cried, "Yes, I know! But I don’t know how to fill up all these extra spaces. I don’t want to be seen! I don’t want you to see inside me but I don’t know how to cover up these bones!"

I think I might cut this down to just a fragment?

Sep 2013 amm

Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye

Sep 2013 amm

Leonard Cohen

Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but now it's come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
it's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,

but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't
untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't
untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.