I see two girls outside of my residence
popping the can, chugging the beer
All I hear
is laughter, a good time.

I walk alone a lot
I wonder why I don't have friends
friends like the ones I had
friends I write, but hear no response.

What happened?
Where did I go wrong,
i've been here for so long.
these relationships come and go.

I am alone  a lot,
waiting to see him or waiting for his call
but he is miles away.

I hope one day, I can find a friend again
one who will laugh at my jokes,
hold my hand,
and understand.

Two people met
Not knowing all that would happen
When they let
Their hearts go.

The boys eyes
Made her realize
He was the sun in her sky
And she the moon
Waiting for him to rise.

He hurt her sometimes
Tears fall from her eyes
Raindrops on her sheets
Her glow grows weak.

But their sky can be the most beautiful.
Deep hues of orange and red.
She shares the sky with him

When the night grows dark
She waits till she can see
The brightness of
The sun again.

She waits for the storm to pass
So she can dance
In the radiance of his light.

She hopes
He will always shine
For every and all kind

--amelia rose

I was born in 93
in a town I don't remember.
A place I never see

on the boarder of Luxembourg,
Bitburg Germany.

I was always running away.
ready to explore, always something to say.
Having no fear at 5, throwing tantrums
when things weren't right.

I've hurt, but I know my hurt doesn't compare
I've struggled, but I know my struggle doesn't amount
I've prayed, but I know my prayers are quiet.

I've looked in the mirror, frustrated with what i see
thinking that through a perfect body I would be free

I've lied to myself, trying to climb to somewhere I've never been
hoping to escape the reality of what was and will be

I've given my heart away
looked to the sky looking for refugee
hoping the sky will give me peace.

I've slept through pain
when I felt the heart break and ache.
I've had troubles breathing when
my emotions take control.

I breathe knowing I can breathe out hate
and breathe in peace.

I lost myself in another person,
when i know we aren't right.
I fight and I fight.

I don't know whats wrong with me
why I fight and he spites me.
I've felt my control slip
and my reason come 2nd.

20 still searching and breathing
still fighting for my dreams.
hoping I will live in harmony
in peace..

its funny how we are in the same city now, yet I feel the farthest I have ever felt. we drift our separate ways with the constant hum of traffic and the rising heat. something between us is unsettling, the friction stings and my body grows empty and gray when I leave your sight. But when the grayness passes and my time of being unacknowledged and mistreated is over. I know the freeness of before and with each pedal on the sidewalk and the bumps in the pavement, I grow stronger. the cuts you've left inside my walls begin to heal and the palm trees stand tall against the California sunset.

Can we be undisturbed.
in the hours of dusk
privacy, just you and me
and maybe the moon left behind too.

you've become apart of me.
its like a nail in wood
pounded over and over again.

its the painful shot of tequila
the scent lingering in my mind
the quench and reaction with
the sweet, honeyed stillness of my thoughts
the relaxed motions through my body.

you're the moment
I dive too deep, but I like the complete
separation from life and the oxygen up above.
the underwater thrill and the lightness of my body.
and the pressure from the plunge.

there I was coming back again. running back across that **** freeway and the busy roads of East L.A. past the small bakery and the questionable corner shop, the rainbow guadalupe and baseball park, down dozier, past the barking dog through the fence. there i sat in front of the housing complex on the road. waiting for him to come out. he can’t avoid me know through the receiver and the 2000+ miles. Silence as he stands there watching me, watch the street and the moon. Of course, the tears come and I really have no pin point reason why. But he holds me in the road for as long as he can and his grandmother comes wheeling out all concerned that I am out in the road all alone in this neighborhood. I wish I could speak Spanish, just to lessen her worries and let her know how much she means to me. if only she knew and if only he knew too.

this isn't my type of party
20 people lost in the lobby.
girl got a cute face,
her friends got her own body
it isn't a commodity.

you're taking me down the alley.
this definitely is not the valley.
and I follow your stride,
nervous to be meeting your kind.

These big grey ocean eyes,
milky complexion, taller in size.
entering the fence, homes confined
The East Side, so many places to hide.

up the steps, entering in the back door.
cousins room, the stench of cologne.
Boom and Bass, torn down wallpaper
snapbacks, tied laces,  young children?

This isn't my type of party.
20 pathetic men in the backyard
my boys got a smart mind, kind face
this is such a waste.

Smoking, drinking, faded.
this isn't me, almost sedated.
take me to the air mattress
warm me, let me rest.

this isn't my type of party.
I don't fit in here, sorry.
get me out of this lobby.