Amber

Amber Sep 2013

I wanted understanding; instead you gave me your doubt.

I told you I was sick,
sick with sadness and guilt,
that my days were lonely and quiet,
and so a wall I had built,

I talked about my thoughts and mind,
about how healing takes precious time,
but instead of understanding you gave me your suspicions,
and you're dumb for thinking depression is benign.

Amber Jul 2013

Two

I had a dream,

It was two in the morning,
Quiet and dark,
Under dim street lamp lighted streets
we walked.

You were walking in front of me
and I was dawdling behind,
Gazing at the sparkling street lights
and at the moths circling frantically around the light,
As if trying to catch it; take hold of it for themselves.

I was a moth,
Trying to encircle and hold a light,
A light that I thought shined brilliantly,

But you were walking in front of me,
In the darkness
and not in my light.

Amber Jul 2013

Behind This Looking Glass

As I stand behind this looking glass,
I never once knew
what heartbreak would feel like
when the person you love is beside you
sleeping, walking, dreaming, smiling,

As I stand behind this looking glass
I never thought you could be too selfless
when it comes to the person you love,
when you believe anything you do for them
is not yet enough.

As I stand behind this looking glass,
I never understood how it feels,
to look at the one you love smiling
and feel such despair,

As I stand behind this looking glass,*
I never knew you could give so much
to the one you love who takes it all,
and I never noticed the film over my eyes,
I never thought about loneliness; at all,

As I stand behind this looking glass,
all these thoughts come rushing in,
And I fight my watery red eyes,
And all the thoughts that I've given to him,

As I stand behind this looking glass,
I scream to him
"Why are you so far away?"
Yet he is right here next to me,
But his eyes do not see me,
The looking glass is what he sees,

And as I stand behind this looking glass,
I've realized now what I've not wanted to show,
And because he fails understand,
I wonder if he will never know.

Amber Mar 2013

This Place We Call Home

Seeing this world with lucid eyes,
It's challenging to call it home,
But finding peace in this entropy is not to see the ugly of this place,
But to see beauty in the midst of ugly.

And even i'm still learning to do that.

Amber Feb 2013

You Are

You are the first of thoughts that fill my head,
The image that I see wherever I go,
The first and final word to escape my lips,
And the sweetest song I have come to know,

I love the sweet smell your body carries with it,
And the taste of your lips when they press tenderly to mine,
I love the feeling of your skin beneath my palms,
And every eye lash that garnishes your lovely eyes,

I love your soft chocolate hair and the way it shapes to your face,
And your eyebrows that frame your beautiful eyes,
unyielding; like daggers they pierce right through me,
And your gentle pianist fingers that intertwine with mine,

I love the feeling of safety in your arms,
The sound of your warm beating heart,
Your soothing voice that shields me from harm,
“I’ll protect you” you coo as I still listen to you heart,

You are the effort in every breathe I take,
The sweet cream cheese icing on a red velvet cake,
And I think to myself when your voice meets my ears,
You are the one I've needed;
the one I'll love for one thousand years.

This is definitely not my best work, but I didn't want to get rid of because it's of course about someone very important to me. Oh well. :p

Amber Feb 2013

"Soul"

I walk with my soul on my back,
All jumbled with my life in a sack,
It dirties and tumbles all around,
Inside this sack on my back.

It shakes with my worries and stress,
And with my fears that never rest,
But if I were to choose I'd have to say,
The least of its worries is fears and stress.

Amber Oct 2012

Audire

I heard a cry in the middle of the night,
It came from woods afar,
It came from beyond a world I know,
A world farther than the morning light

I heard a voice speak to me,
It yearned for the trees to know,
It wanted to woods and grass to see,
And weeds and flowers that grow,

The garden in the woods is dead now,
That world beyond what we know,
And the voice that trembled and spoke in my head,
That familiar voice was mine.