Clouds
                                        Released
          Alone
                                                                                           Sun
                                            Moon
                                                                   Aeronautical
  Animate
                                 Dispersed
                                                                                                                Insurmountable
                        Winged

A day.
A pill.
A douse.
A new way.
Afraid.
A death.

Always looking.
A god.
A miracle.
A second chance.
A second life.
A halo.
A pair of wings.
A white wonderland.
A beauty.

A tear.
A brother.
A sister.
A mother.
A father.
A family.
A smile.
A laugh.
A happiness.

A cloud.
A rest.
A dream.
A death.
A tear.
A tragedy.
A commotion.
A smile.

A thanks to you.
A thanks to him.
A gift for me.
A gift for you.
A way to say, I miss you.

In a life time I wont do as expressed ,yet I remain to feel faint. A world of sorrow; regret is what I live by. Sunshine rises for everyone to hide in the dark shade and let there wants lift, as others needs fade. My life as a view to others is a sad, melancholy, very dark life to live. Of coarse I won't live my life out to the fullest, because i'm afraid of the people in the journey of a life time.

Another day of torture.
Another year of pain.
Another razor painted.
Another way to cry.
Another reason to scream.
Another time to die...

I grow,
Then I rot.
I smile,
Then I cry.

My body is still. I enjoy the air. I live out the freedom in the moment. My chest up, down; breath after breath. Dress flowing with the wind. My bare feet, toes twine with the grass. The water at the end of the cliff bouncing off the dirt forming an army of waves, a battle. The moon center of my view, my mind. I am at peace. I am fearless. I am home.

To me a Dandelion is not only a ****, killed, hated, yet god's prayers, for every wish to become true. Yet a beautiful sprung grown, flower wanting to be a rose, but accepting the fact that being a Dandelion is good.

A day of laughter, excitement fills the air as the cupcake is delivered for that was all they could afford. Sizzling candles, each with a swirl of color, thirteen representing thirteen years of his day of birth. Sad that he shall grow up with little money, yet with a world of kindness, not greed. Happy day for him. A mother cries, as she looks in his eyes to see that he is a teenager, not her little baby. He now is only 7 years from adult hood. He is blessed with a heart of steel, a mind of hope, a graceful mind. "Thank you he says, but ma'am I wan't you to wish in light, and blow the dream to god, for he shall make true." "Oh, honey thank you." She blows out the candles with a tear now on the cupcake. She takes a bite... She smiles "Thank you. I love you" "I love you to ma!" They hug, they smile, they cry. "Happy birthday... I love you..." She whispers then slowly dies in his arms. He knew it, he cried, he forgave the secret she kept. "I love you to" A tear.

Right now.
I wish to die.
My future is death.
Why the hell do I write.
There is no point.
I don't know.
I am depressed.
I am sorrow.
I re-write everything,
just in different format.
I don't care.
I won't be missed.
I am not loved.
I write.
I am tired.
I am in pain.
I am sorry.

A day to me is a world of              nothing.



In a box lay                                              oblivio­n.            
                
  
                  
                                Space                                 everywhere.  
         *Empty

A ancient man of up to date, in search for his rugous body to expire. Very sapient, in a low spoken tone. Blackening, lusterless, tone of green eyes hazed behind his glass dome to in which seeks a luminous view. Thus being no longer youthful, such man twas engraved as my forefather.
  Tis of thy ancestor hair a majestic, ash, of none of thee less than one inch grown out of his marble shaped, sphere, crown. Scars are thee faded memories, thus he shall not keep them in mined nor heart.

Ribbon on the floor
I can't take it anymore.
I will never be a prep.
I will never be fake.
I will never be the thing I hate.

My life as a flower.
I shall wilt in fear.
I grow towards death.
I crumble the fastest.
I die by suicide,
not **** spray.

Spirit.
Light.
Drift.
Sunken.
Equivocation.
White.
Lifeless.
Sorrow.
Worthless.
Ghost.

The celling filed with wiggly lines.
My bed soft mushy.
Pillow is furry, squishy.
My sheets silky, and warm.
My bed the place I slumber.
A place to say good night.

Good night.
This is the last of me.
Tonight pills.
Tomorrow gone.
More tears.
More smiles.
I am sorry.
I really am.

Hair up, not in a holder, in the air.
Not grey but brown.
You don't even need glasses, because you see the world as a flower any way.
You are perfect.
Everything that my family needs.
I love you gram.
<3
!uoy evol I
Je t'aime!

You come over with a smile of generosity and lovingness. I love you. We love you. You made my mother, uncle's, and further generation. You are my queen. You have showed me to smile when in doubt. I love you. Your knowledge of animals, you speak to them. You understand them. You give them a place to call home. I love you. I can't say it enough. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. It goes on. I might have my days, but when you are around I sure do get up quick. Thank you. I love you. Thank you for every thing. Thank you for my life. You are my creature. I love you.

~Amber your granddaughter.~
:3

"A day of life has approached me. The day of death. As others say it "My time has come." Then thee others cry. I am old now. It's just a regular type of day. Except today I lie on my death bed. It's comfy. I don't need anything. No water, fresh towels, jello. Nothing. I am sad yes, yet I do want is the pain to stop. Don't pull the plug yet. Please let me die trying. I don't want to give up. I love you." Those were his last words to me. "I love you."
  Two hours later; he died. I stayed holding his hand. After the buzzer was a tone of one. Continuing, beeeeeeeeep and so forth. I kissed him on the head. I never walked out. Yes, I cried. He was my husband. Seventy two years of marriage. I slept there because he was my home. He always told me. "Darling, I wan't to see the world. Do you mind if we sell our home and explore?" All I said was "You are my home." With a smile, after that we held hands under the roof of our house.  We married at about sixteen maybe seventeen years of age. We lived good. "I love you too." I broke. I cried. They escorted me out of there as I watched them finally put the sheet over his head. I screamed. I cried. I did not run when they put me in a room. A lady sat there in front of me and said "Please, don't scream. We will be keeping him here. Until you figure out how, well ether he will be buried or he..." I cut her off. "I understand. May I see him one last time?" I begged "Yes..." She said with a sigh. This will be the last I will see of him. Yet again I say "I love you..." Grasping his chest holding him with all my might.
  I never saw him again; because I ran. I ran from his last day.

Tho days seem never-ending, we still come home to a family. No matter the size or strength. We all see our opinions, as we don't look at others. Family is the biggest treasure known to man. Every day without your loved-ones creates more hope. In the name of God we are all connected, we are all brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers.

We seek out the good in people, as we miss their true state of mind. We want our image, we desire the dreams. We know dreams are the brick walls that separate dream from reality. To achieve we must work. Work is time, patience and effort. Without work we are nothing.

Without family we remain lost. Time grows as we age and create joy. Life is full of crazy things and life is full of love. We all know that. My time here, in this world, is worth living through. I realized that; Your life, my life, our lives' are worth living, they are worth exploring. If we mess up, we start over.

Depression, Anxiety, A.D.H.D., A.D.D. isn't a choice. I am sure that we would want to change the illnesses, but we can't. We can treat it, but that won't make it disappear. We can help create hope; or we can help **** it. The abuse from others to us is within the past.

"Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
But today is a gift.
Thats why they call it present."

You're perfect.
I am perfect.
We are perfect.
Just the way we are.

Why did I have to look in the mirror? Why did I have to see the monster be unleashed? My blonde stupid hair. **** eyes, and the unknown tint that lays within them. My ******* body big, giant. Wrist why are the scars still there? Feet why do are you so big? Hands the fattest thing on me, that's pretty fat. My ugly legs with un-even shades of skin, from the scars of my past. Me, my image. This is me unleashed. My body is my ink and my mirror is my canvas, but why do I keep painting this ugly picture? Why is this the image that I have? **Why this image?

I know you may not like me. You may not think I am cool. I have always liked you... Always. The moment I first saw you I couldn't take my mind off you. You are the prettiest thing that God has given to this world. You give me hope when in the deepest pit of despair. Your hair is amazing. Your smile is my light in a dark room. Though we remain friends; I will always think of you as my love at first sight. I will help you in all ways possible to find that girl, that beauty I wish to be. If you are happy then I must be. My stomach hurls when I see you every morning; When in horse-play-mode I stand aside to watch. Hoping I won't get in the way. You have set the bars aside when personality comes. You open my eyes to a world of joy. When we go our separate ways at school, I fall out of that world. You have showed me to just be happy. The love I have for you is to much for words, to much for life, to must too explain. I promise to protect you. If I could hug you all day or never go to school again, I would choose you... Every time. I wan't to be with you. I just wish we could be that odd couple. I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us. Jenny, love isn't enough. Jenny... Jenny I love you. Jenny the hug I gave you before giving you this was warm and excited. The beating in my heart, like the song "Seven Nation Army" by: White Stripes. It's fast so fast it skips a few beats. You're the beauty i'm the beast. You are life I am death. You're yang i'm yin. Opposites attract. Jenny I love you as a friend, a "girlfriend", a mother, a sister. I love you.

It is May 13, 1865. Two years sense our last battle. We "Confederate" won today, we won almost everyday and Union still won the war; I feel it's not fare, I feel that they shouldn't have won. Our commander Colonel Theodore H. Barrett was emotional… It was the weirdest thing seeing him, for he used to be my friend. We went to school together, thank the lord above us that he didn't recognize me. He said that I looked familiar and smirked, that scared me. But Max died, I held him, he told me to come closer, I did, his cold lips touched my cheek as a tear from my eye reached his head. He whispered in my ear "Lilly Haddix, I love you…" I scream for help. I screamed so god knows that he can't go, not yet. Maxwell Leon died in my arms, as my friend, as my love. I whispered slowly "Max, I love you too…" I grabbed his papers. And kept them next to mine. We always talked about how I have always wanted to be a doctor. I am still going to be studying medical when I leave. Soon I will be twenty-two I will be a new woman by the time I reach home. I hope when the future comes, I hope that peace will rise against the hatred. I never believed in slavery, I had slaves but they weren't my slaves. I fed them, gave them water, let them bring there families; I gave them a home when they didn't have one. I love you Max, I miss you Minnesota. Home here I come.

"But, I thought..."
"HAHAH fat ***, did you really think that anyone would like you. (With a crowd behind her)
"I... I just thought."
"Well you thought wrong *****! AHAH (The whole crowd laughs)"
"But what did I do?"
"You were talking **** about me, yeah he told me, go die you *****! (More laughs from the crowd)"
"No I don't talk about people... I didn't say anything"
"Oh "OK Sure" Yeah go say that you ***. No one likes you. Go **** you're self. HAHA (More)"
She walked out of the girls restroom along with the crowd. Me one the floor crying. I crawl to the nearest stall. I stay there for about 5 minutes. I soak up my tears to accept the fact that I have to go back. In my head I thought take her out, punch her, kick her, DO SOMETHING! I didn't, I wanted to. No cameras in the bathroom. No proof that anything happened that day. I wish I would have fought back. But I was afraid. Lies lead up to this. He told lies. He, she, they, them. Lies.

Pain through my body.
World of hate.
Hatred.
Pain.
****.

I loved you. Why did you leave me? I miss you. Please haunt me. Did you see a light? You were mine, now your his. I told you to stay home. You learned not to drink and drive, she didn't. You died not her. You are my one and only. You are my lost love.

It is 2:07 am and me and the love my life sitting, laying on the ground. "I love you." He whispered so close to my ear I feel the heat, the moisture from his mouth, breathing the words down my neck. "I love you too." I say with a smile. His lips make contact with mine as we indulge on a kiss. Holding hands, joining together, twining fingers. We look up at the stars, one falls "Make a wish." He said so gracefully, with a smile. He looks at me, as my eyes closed clenching his hands a whispering to myself. "I wan't to be with you for the rest of my life." As they leave, behind the mint 57 chevy, trunk open, he gets down on one knee and ask a question that every girl want's to be asked, yet he used a different term. "Wish granted." She smiles and cries at the same time. "I love you." "I love you too."

This is love, this is things that some people take advantage of. Love now is a joke. You get a man, throw him out, already knowing who you're next victim is going to be. That is love now. Sad. Love is expressed. Love is shown. Love is not a game, no. Just see the beauty in *love.

I am crying.

Alone.

Life *****.

"Why me?"

They scare me.
I hide.
They scream at me.
I run.
They laugh.
I cry.
They are free.
I am stuck.

My mind is them.
The people.
The faces.
The words.

To me.
Towards me.
Behind me.
About me.

There words taunt me.
They haunt me.
They don't **** me.
I **** myself.

There voices.
In my head.
Night, day.
Always and forever.
They stay.
The memories.
The words.
In my head.
The memories ****.
I forgive.
I don't mean it.
I try to forget.
But always fail.
The memories.

My lackadaisical soul. Very depleted, stale, in which rome the damp, disconsolate rain. Soaking up my clothes, to divulge my skin. Thus laying  motionless, inert. I am drenched. I love it. Being solitary, alone. Better than lied to. I love observing; listening, watching. I am silent, bashful.

I'm seeking help. I think I'm going to die soon. I have seen the future before, I dreamt it. I know that sounds impossible. I went to a carnival, well it's more a thing that people make. Like you walk through lights, but when we where walking to go home. I realized that I have seen this before. A couple years ago I had a dream. Me holding popcorn, my mother next to me father and sister in front. Walking to a mall the catch the bus home. I stopped and just watched. This has also happened before from watching a movie. But this is not a coincidence if i can see the future then what about my other dreams? Are my dreams my future?