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615 · Feb 2012
Lowered Expectations
Amanda Yeager Feb 2012
Go in a cave
Scream out your fears
You’ll be alone
Don’t stay with someone who loves you
Keep all to yourself
Who needs, who wants to know
**** the deliveries, the trucks and tow-aways
Momma is in love with me but not her son
He’s the one who matters but not to me
I lie to your face
The *******
He’s my whole world
The friends I had aren’t here anymore
Was forbade to experience the only happiness
That made life okay to live
Now I’m so sober I couldn’t be more ****** up
The fear, ha, what fear
Just the increasing pain in every vein and tendon
In my body
I caress the bottle
Pill or alcohol
Maybe both will satisfy
God will be my protector
Great job so far, Mister All
Watch the parade roll by
No, you’re in a cave where there are no lights
So get used to the dark
My guess is you’ll be there for a while
552 · Feb 2012
Better Than Depression
Amanda Yeager Feb 2012
The bowl’s been worn down to a plate
That bowl of oranges has rotted
She wings her lines
In a playwright
Of her life
She promises to leave when he’s happy
He’s depressed so she’s forced to go
But she looks into his eyes
And there it is- the emptiness grasps her
He looks at her face
Misses the passion flooding her eyes
Filling the gap between her lips
One last kiss
Meaning is thin
So is the hope
Along with the life inside this heartbreak girl
Maybe she wants to break the promise
Maybe it’s because she misses the misery
All she wants is for him to say yes
Like the first day of my life
She held a knife to his throat
He didn’t give a ****
So she gave up
Not even close to giving up
But couldn’t forget the flowers he gave or the heart he took
We’re fortunate to draw our own stars
Thrown out of the corner of that beauty
Every song is a song to you
Or a meaning to me
Wish you were here
Elliott, Conor, Isaac
Why
Why I’m like the trumpet in Mr. Smith’s rose parade
The poem to me
Which ripped me to pieces by the way
This is a combination of a few of my best poems. My favorite lines in those.
542 · Feb 2012
Not Right In Your Eyes
Amanda Yeager Feb 2012
Another day ending by waking up to another empty pillow
A coffee break for two and a carriage ride for one
Bad lyrics to sum up a life, or not a life at all
It's not me
Who's he? Who's she?
Mysteries the Hardy Boys won’t touch
When Mary Jane is the best lawyer out there
I'm in court for the ****** of a young woman
Found guilty; life without parole
It's better that way anyway
I can't go after myself anymore
There's tape over my ears to silence the words around me
Clown smiles painted across the town now
I'm panicking Indian style of the side of the road
Waiting for someone to throw candy my way
Fortunately, I'm overseen
A walk home, alone, empty handed
But happy
531 · Feb 2012
Sunken In Yet?
Amanda Yeager Feb 2012
One night or every night
Not a tear goes unnoticed
The **** I love
And the misery I miss
Things I think about
Though I love you my body yells otherwise
I’m like the trumpet in Mr. Smith’s rose parade
The only **** left on the streets
I’ve been out of my house for weeks at a time
But it’s missed when I get back
Every song is a song to you
Or a meaning to me
The poem to me
Which ripped me to pieces by the way
Nothing will make me less sad
I would take your womb and climb in
I just want to be missed
Too bad there’s nobody out there that still loves me
Are friends good enough
Not really
Obviously it’s too much for you
524 · Feb 2012
Why
Amanda Yeager Feb 2012
Why
He told her to let go
She said why am I in it for the long run
Love doesn’t end when another thing doesn’t start
She promises to leave when he’s happy
He’s depressed so she’s forced to go
Go out through the window
One last kiss
Meaning is thin
So is the hope
So is the life within this heartbreak girl
Maybe she breaks that promise
Because she misses the misery
She wants him to say yes
The bowl of oranges
The first day of my life
Wish you were here
Elliott, Conor, Isaac
Why
Iron crushing any definition of happy
Drunk on wine
The girl sits on her floor in her bedroom
There’s a hole in the wall from her staring it down
The Hollows on repeat on the iPod
The tears on repeat on her swollen eyes and burnt cheeks
523 · Feb 2012
The Day After
Amanda Yeager Feb 2012
The best morning ever turned upside down to the least thing to remember
The bowl’s been worn down to a plate
Drunk on love or sober on hate
Missing the person who hurt her most
Why does she go about her day
She wings her lines
In a playwright
Of her life
Too bad it’s not written for her
That’d be easier, huh
If our lives were connect the dots
We’re fortunate enough to draw our own stars
Paint our own pictures
Roll our own clay
But how much easier it’d be to live someone else’s life
But she looks into his eyes
And there it is- the emptiness grasps her
He looks at her face
Misses the passion in her eyes
She held a knife to his throat
He didn’t give a ****
So she gave up
But couldn’t forget
The flowers he gave or the heart he took
482 · Feb 2012
A Faulty Reality
Amanda Yeager Feb 2012
Walk upside down on your feet
Run inside out into the snow
Hold your insides so they don’t fall out
But be your own person not someone you don’t know
Gather your harvest and sweep the porch
But never let down your guard and keep that smoke
Don’t get drunk on love
Get wasted on Jack
Be the bigger person but never apologize
For being right and letting yourself down
Run away to a field
Have *** with a stranger
**** your closest friend
******, axe, incinerate the remains
Love to the fullest
You know you want to
Maybe hate to hide the love
Never know till you try

— The End —